That Time I Auto-Sterilized in the Juice Aisle at Wal-Mart

So I'm standing in the juice aisle at Wal-Mart tonight and to my right I notice jabba-the-mama (obese woman covered in tattoos, wearing a spaghettie strap tank top) and her 6 dirty-faced children. Two of them are screaming. One, during the course of screaming fit, grabs a jug of grape juice and sends it crashing to the floor. Three of the kids are standing in the purple mess, the girl (approximately aged 12 years) starts screaming, "My crocs are filling with juice!" Mama-the hutt yells at the kids to stay where they are while she gets someone to clean up the mess. The 12 year old girl, still standing in the juice, proceeds to scold the child that did it. "You're a bad baby! A bad baby!" Images of future juvie hall residents fill my mind. I'm convinced I feel the eggs in my ovaries popping like little bits of bubble wrap. Watching this literally gave me a period.