I WANT TO KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH: A Research Proposal

Last night, I was sitting on the couch, chewing my Sonic grilled cheese sandwich and pondering all the inappropriate things I've ever thought about saying to people I knew for comedic effect/misguided earnestness/lack of social skills when it dawned on me: I should perform a social experiment. So, like any good, scientifically minded experimentor, I made a hypothesis (and selected an alternative), devised a method of experimentation, selected a sample population, and pondered what I'd do with the results of my experiment. So...

Hypothesis:

H0 (being the actual hypothesis): Saying inappropriate things to your friends will cause an adverse reaction.
H1 (being the alternative): Saying inappropriate things to your friends will not cause an adverse reaction. (To overly simplify things, we'll call this reaction "favorable")

Method of Experimentation:

Devise a test question. Administer question to subjects. Record result (unfavorable reaction or favorable reaction. no reaction will be recorded but not included in final tally for the hypothesis calls for either unfavorable or favorable. don't ask questions, I know my results won't be statistically sound).

The test question will in all actuality be a statement. That statement is "I want to kiss you on the mouth." The reason for selecting this statement is that it is startling, simply worded (as to avoid confusion or misunderstanding), and quite direct. The forwardness of this question was also a factor in its selection. Also, this question will induce varied responses depending on if the subject asked is male or female.

Select a Sample Population

These will be people I know. Apparently people I am comfortable enough around to make a complete fool of myself in their presence...people that will hopefully not want to run the other way in the future after this particular experimental encounter.

Use of the Results of this Experiment

I figure this experiment will make good fodder for conversation at Teh Log in the future. It'll be one of those "Hey, remember that time..." stories.


However, having gone through all that time and thought required to come up with this hair-brained plan...alas, I doubt I could ever bring myself to say this to anyone. I'm too shy and too wary of the consequence. So, in conclusion, if I had the guts to ever perform a social experiment, it would be this one...or something similar. And if you ever find me asking you this question in the future...I'm doing it in the name of science.

So...how about that kiss?