Public Speaking

Gave my final presentation of the semester this evening. It was a stunning overview of the chemical cadmium. I focused mainly on the respiratory and renal effects and touched on some studies concerning cadmium's ability to damage the inner ear epithelial cells, adversely affecting one's ability to hear. So in essence, I said cadmium is bad because it'll give you lung cancer, wreck your kidneys, and make you deaf-ish. And to think, I prattled on for ten minutes when I could have just stood at the front of the class and said "Cadmium will mess you up!"

I've always thought that if it got too tough while giving a presentation...if things got too hot...if the presentation was dying a terrible, terrible death...I should just stand there in front of the class and voluntarily wet myself. If you think about it, purposely pissing your pants in front of a group of people can solve a lot of problems? Instructor thinks your presentation is boring? You've just livened things up by tossing everyone a curve ball. People not paying attention? They will now. Forgot what you were talking about or didn't know to begin with? After peeing in your pants, anything you said before or after will be irrelevant. The fact of the matter will be, you just willfully peed on yourself in front of a group of people. You'll go down in history as "that person that peed in their pants on purpose" and likely excused from the remainder of class to find new pants. Seem doubtful? They'll HAVE to let you go because 1) you'll start to really smell eventually, and 2) no one wants to sit next to the person covered in pee.