It's Just That Simple

I'm not afraid of many things in this world, but tonight I realized what a baby I can be when it comes to flying.

As the tiny little jet I was riding in made a sudden dip somewhere in the skies over Northern Illinois, I could feel hot tears spring to my eyes and a list of people I wanted to call during my too-long layover in Chicago. I was somewhere through the s' (alphabetically and all) when my thoughts were jolted along with the plane as it dipped to the left, turning to make its ascent. Prior to departure, the crew was trying to lure several passengers into giving up their seats due to "weight restriction" and I wanted to mentally kick myself for having "traded my life for $250 in flight vouchers, a free dinner, and a bus ride to Peoria." But I couldn't. All I could do was sit there with a blank mind, grabbing my mother's leg, and periodically muttering "holy shit" with each little dip and shake of the plane. That, and wondering just where in the heck we were because I'm the kind of person that *has* to know which cornfield she's going to land in. It can be such a small world that there's a good chance I'd know the owner.

Obviously the plane made it back to Peoria.

But Florida Was Lovely and I could pack up and move there. Like...tomorrow. There are mosquitos there. I wanted to move 'someplace nice where there ain't no mosquitoes at' and Florida only hits 50% of that criteria. Damn mosquitoes - I smashed one against the side of my face last night waiting for a bus and it splurted blood on the right side of my face. And since I was out and about without as much as a water fountain to use for clean up, I was given the only cleansing cloth to be had at that bus station: a feminine cleansing cloth. It more or less fit the definition of what I needed, having that not-so-fresh feeling and all...

I did it all Disney-style. Magic Kingdom. Epcot. MGM.

It was actually Soap Star Weekend at MGM, which meant that the park was overran with housewives and school girls, starry-eyed at the prospect of waiting in an obscenely long line to have a picture signed by their favorite actor/actress. This didn't phase me - I'm actually wellversed in the annual "Days Fest" downstate at Salem. Not so much the celebration as cursing at the traffic, etc. But well-versed in it, nevertheless. This actually worked in our favor as practically everyone in the park was there to see the soapstars and not ride the rides. Five minute wait for Star Tours ??? HECK YEAH!!!

The best part of MGM was a car stunt show called Lights, Motors, Action - which featured a 6 car chase on a soundstage, explosions, and an explanation of how the stunt cars were built. I can tell that some of work is rubbing off on me when I got incredibly excited that they popped the hood and started giving specs on what's under there. I'd tell you, but that'd ruin the movie magic, don't you think?