5 Down

In the past week, I've lost 5.8 lbs. That puts me 5.8 lbs closer to world domination. Several people have asked me what I'm going to do when I reach my goal weight. Typical answers for this question include things like "I'm going to go on a shopping spree for smaller clothes!" and "I'm going to eat that food I couldn't eat while on my diet!"

My rebuttal to both is as follows: 1) I will be replacing my tents and cloaks as I progress because ill fitting clothes are not as attractive as ones that fit and if I toss out my phat-pants, I'll be to the point of no return. 2) Pigging out defeats the purpose of having gone on a diet in the first place. Besides, I consider this project less of a diet and more of a lifestyle makeover. So here it is, the 5 things I'm going to do once I'm half the girl I used to be:

1. Put on a bikini. Pose with a sports car. Post the pictures on the internet.
2. Enter a wet tshirt contest. (Don't tell my Mom!)
3. Adopt layered wife beaters as my unofficial uniform for the summer.
4. Burn my girdle.
5. Find out what my feet actually look like.