Last night, I learned that my grandfather, Grandpa!, died after rocking the face off the earth for 90 years.
In tribute, here are 5 facts about Grandpa!
- When Grandpa witnessed the surrender of the Japenese, the emporor of Japan was so overwhelmed by his awesomeness that his head exploded. The US government was so embarassed by this, that they rewrote the history books and had a stand in sign the surrender.
- Grandpa didn't use heavy equipment to dig a gravel pit. He stared at the earth until a hole dug itself.
-In the year 2000, Grandpa had to submit a urine sample. Much to the surprise of the urologist, Grandpa had pissed pure whiskey.
-The city of Springfield, MO asked him to move back to Illinois in 1997 because his extreme coolness was making the town look bad in comparison. To this day, Springfield still suffers from an inferiority complex.
-When Clint Eastwood was filming the Dirty Harry movies, the director would always urge Clint to "be more like Ben VonBurg" in order to accurately portray the epitome of bad assedness.
RIP, Grandpa! I hope you're kicking ass and taking names in Heaven.
Love, Sparky
In tribute, here are 5 facts about Grandpa!
- When Grandpa witnessed the surrender of the Japenese, the emporor of Japan was so overwhelmed by his awesomeness that his head exploded. The US government was so embarassed by this, that they rewrote the history books and had a stand in sign the surrender.
- Grandpa didn't use heavy equipment to dig a gravel pit. He stared at the earth until a hole dug itself.
-In the year 2000, Grandpa had to submit a urine sample. Much to the surprise of the urologist, Grandpa had pissed pure whiskey.
-The city of Springfield, MO asked him to move back to Illinois in 1997 because his extreme coolness was making the town look bad in comparison. To this day, Springfield still suffers from an inferiority complex.
-When Clint Eastwood was filming the Dirty Harry movies, the director would always urge Clint to "be more like Ben VonBurg" in order to accurately portray the epitome of bad assedness.
RIP, Grandpa! I hope you're kicking ass and taking names in Heaven.
Love, Sparky
