She's got a lot of Heart(beat)

So today around 3:30, I was hooked up to an EKG because I've been having a fluttering/bubbly sensation in my chest. It's not been painful, but it's freaky and it'll make my teeth go numb. The print out from the machine called it something like "sinus arrhythmia", but the doctor thought that the machine was being overly sensitive because at the same time, the EKG showed that I have a good, strong heart. Basically, a few times an hour, my heart is tossing in an extra beat, and that's why I'm feeling funky. I was given the option of wearing a halter monitor for 24 hours, but I declined because if the medical professionals weren't too worried and overall, other than being freaky, it's not been problematic...then why should I drag around a heart monitor for the next day. However, if this continues for another week or so, or if I start to get short of breath or pass out or any other list of things to watch for, I'm going back to the doctor.

The stickers they put on me for the EKG...I'm still finding them. I didn't wear a proper shirt for having this done, apparently, because I was laying on the table with my shirt pulled over my head, trying not to move the entire time. The stickers are really light and pliable-I could only feel some of them, and I think it was because I knew they were there. Since I got home, I've found 3 EKG stickers. I guess I could give them away as door prizes...first 3 responders get a used EKG sticker.

Public Speaking

Gave my final presentation of the semester this evening. It was a stunning overview of the chemical cadmium. I focused mainly on the respiratory and renal effects and touched on some studies concerning cadmium's ability to damage the inner ear epithelial cells, adversely affecting one's ability to hear. So in essence, I said cadmium is bad because it'll give you lung cancer, wreck your kidneys, and make you deaf-ish. And to think, I prattled on for ten minutes when I could have just stood at the front of the class and said "Cadmium will mess you up!"

I've always thought that if it got too tough while giving a presentation...if things got too hot...if the presentation was dying a terrible, terrible death...I should just stand there in front of the class and voluntarily wet myself. If you think about it, purposely pissing your pants in front of a group of people can solve a lot of problems? Instructor thinks your presentation is boring? You've just livened things up by tossing everyone a curve ball. People not paying attention? They will now. Forgot what you were talking about or didn't know to begin with? After peeing in your pants, anything you said before or after will be irrelevant. The fact of the matter will be, you just willfully peed on yourself in front of a group of people. You'll go down in history as "that person that peed in their pants on purpose" and likely excused from the remainder of class to find new pants. Seem doubtful? They'll HAVE to let you go because 1) you'll start to really smell eventually, and 2) no one wants to sit next to the person covered in pee.

Registration

I'm currently in the processing of registering for my classes. What's that you say? Registration started nearly two weeks ago! Fortunately, I'm at the stage in my life where my classes (with titles like Ergonomics and Biomechanics and Legal Aspects of Safety and Health and Toxicology Rah Rah Rah!) don't fill up nearly as quickly as say "Math Class Essential For Finishing College" or "Humanities, Whips, and Chains offered in 3 sections with 6 sections-worth of People Needing to Take It" or the class I needed at SIU...I think that one was called "I don't care if 50 seniors need it to graduate, we're not offering it this year." The call number on that was CSC 306, btw.

Anyway, I'm staring at my Program Sheet and much to my shock and surprise, after I finish my summer internship, I'm down to 3-ONLY THREE!!! classes needed to complete my Masters degree. I'm going to find out tomorrow how many additional classes I'd need to add another option to my degree. And if it's more than 2 semester's worth, I'm going to just pick 2 "fun" classes that I've always wanted to take, yet haven't been able to. So far, for fun classes, I'm looking at a 500-level Toxicology class offered through the Chemistry Department (all hail me, alumni) and one other...maybe some sort of class on diseases or maybe even something with a lab. Now that I'm working in an office, it's strange to get ready for work by getting fixed up in business clothes and not pulling back the hair and donning my lab shoes and white pinstripe coat. I miss the smell of chemicals pipetting things and titrating stuff. It's weird to no longer find holes burned into my pants when I'm doing laundry...okay, that part I don't mind so much.

You know what? Why spend hours pouring over a course catalog trying to choose my adventure when you, dear readers, can do it for me. Post in comments which classes you think I should take "for fun" should the option to do so arise.

High Fidelity

Watching it on Comedy Central right now. I've never seen the entire movie, but thus far, I'm digging it. So, in the spirit of this film, here's my top five list of favorite films with John Cusack:

1. Better off Dead
2. Gross Pointe Blank
3. Serendipity
4. The Grifters
5. Fat Man and Little Boy

Interactive Blogging Activity: discuss your favorites in the comments section.


Stink Sink

The kitchen sink smells. Pouring bleach down it or any other sort of remediative action yields no permanent results. It'll get a good dousing of bleach later, but for now, the only option would be "move." A reinactment: Devin: what are we going to do about the sink, it smells bad. Me: Um...move?



The Last Week of School

Due to upcoming adventures, this week shall be my last week of school. :w00t: Especially a good thing, seeing as how I burned out on school somewhere around the 22nd of March. Every week since then has been an uphill battle against apathy and the want to just sit around in my underwear and watch tv and play video games for the better part of a week. Work...work I don't mind. Work > school at this point. I'm looking forward to just working this summer...no homework, no papers on toxic substances...no anything that requires a grade.



Formal, v2.0

Last night was the 2004 edition of the Black Diamond Formal. Striving to be more low-key this year, I wore a recycled dress, did my own hair, and spent minimal money and time worrying about the evening. I had a good date (defined as one that looked nice, socialized readily with the other males in attendence, gave me a few dances, and was ready with the camera), enjoyed a great pre-dance dinner (prime rib > *), and just generally hung with all the people I know and love.

Preparation for formal included a long nap on the couch, eating whole wheat crackers, 80s music, and an ice cold shower (big surprise there-not having have warm water...and to think I used to complain because it wasn't hot).

This year I danced more, drank more (especially since the bartender put like 3 shots into every drink-but it didn't really make much difference to me) and took more pictures. It was good times.

Hello Ground Control

David Bowie is helping keep me inspired to do well in writing my paper. Hear that kids? This is the type of competition you're up against. I think starting tomorrow, I'll start some sort of Sparkyworld version of The Apprentice. Fear not, for there will be no lemonade stands to run nor will there be tasks to complete. All decisios made will be final (at my discression) and completely arbitrary. Let the games begin.

Obsessions for This Week

1. Diet Rite White Grape Soda: It's sugarless, tastes of grapes, and it won't stain! I think I'm in love.
2. Opium by Yves St. Laurent: Spicy and Sexy, this perfume is rocking my world. Definitely one of my better impulse purchases.
3. Ballet Flat shoes: More dressed up than a sneaker, more casual than a heel. And they are comfy to boot.
4. 10 minute naps: I seem to have mastered the art of sleeping on the couch for only 10 minute increments. Behold! The bear inside is out of hybernation mode.
5. 80s music: I've been loving the 80s since Sunday and life is way better because of it. :)

I Want to Go on a Treasure Hunt

If you or anyone you know has information on where I (and some friends too perhaps) can go to dig for buried treasure, please pass along this information. I was driving home from the suites this afternoon and listening to "Goonies are Good Enough" and realized how I haven't gone digging for buried treasure recently and need to go do this one of these days. Obviously the odds of finding something will be small, but you have to admit that it's be fun to get some friends together and wander out to the middle of nowhere and dig in vain for gold.

So, if you're up for some sort of Goonies-type adventure one of these weekends, sign up in comments. In this adventure, I cannot guarantee your safety nor can I guarantee we'll be chased through an underground pirate ship by the Fratelli Family. I can guarantee fun times and at least finding a few cents and some shiny rocks while searching though.


Other Adventures Planned for this Summer

1. Road trip to Lamberts
2. Road trip to Civil War Battlefields in TN and other places nearby
3. Road trip to Patsy Cline airplane crash-site in TN
4. Day in St. Louis with overnight stay at Sparky Family Compound (including trip to AB Brewery, since for shame, I've never been)
5. Tour of Distilleries in KY and TN

...so, who's in?

Other Weekend Observations

Work Friday was interesting. All in one day, we were waiting on word of a mishap at a client facility, the computers flipped out and dropped a spoon on us, and I finished two cost projections for projects. I learned how to make contacts with labs and obtain bids from them. I also learned that not only is work awesome about getting lunch for everyone for special occasions/busy days, but if life has been rough, work will buy me a Guiness as well. Thus, Friday evening went a little like this: work ended, drinks with coworkers at The Apple, home to change, to the Curris Center for the film festival...I was asked if I had been drinking and had to say "Well I did have Guiness for dinner." Went to The Log with Deezil afterward to get a grilled cheese sandwich. (On a side note, I've been obsessed with grilled cheese sandwiches lately. It's pretty much all I want to eat, but I don't make them at home because mine just aren't as good and...the bread was green.) After log, we got Frosties from Wendy's for dessert (thanks for the frosty!) and I went home and ate my Frosty and watched Ninja Scroll which was pretty cool...aside from the whole demon molesting the ninja princess. That was weird, yet, I couldn't turn away...which I guess is my way of saying that if hentai ever happens to be on...I may or may not bother to change the channel/skip to the next chapter. *pyong*


Saturday I discovered that it is possible to eat too many McDonald's cheesburgers (my other obsession of late)...but oddly enough, the first one sat in the bottom of my stomach like a rock. The second one made me feel awesome...or maybe it was the girly-beers I drank with them. I also found out that amaretto sours are really good they make me giggle like an idiot. Seriously, I even wanted to punch myself in the face after the laughing in the floor bit.

New Roommate

The 1101 will be getting a new arrival soon and that will rock because it's someone we all know and like and not some random dude off the street. On a side note considering that situation and the story that goes with it, Murray Place has classified me as a male. Feel free to shout WTF here. Seriously people, just run away when you see the fliers. Rip 'em down, tear 'em up, go screaming for the hills.


Research Paper Progress Update

Will be typing like a crazed monkey to get everything for my cadmium paper finished by Wednesday. Word of wisdom: never pick a topic because there is a lot of information from which to choose. You'll get information overload and want to flip out and just not write the paper.

The Fifth Annual MIFA Film Festival: A Review and Whatnot

This event gets the ever-important Sparky Seal of Approval. To put that in persepctive, a brief this of other things that have been seal-of-approval-worthy: Ski soda, Disney World, graduating from college (undergrad), Mom's pecan pie, several certain trips to the log/lan parties/house parties, and really awesome spring days (like today), and the last beer and board game night at the 1101.


... and on requests of some of my readers, Allison and Hodes rock too (you're welcome)

As for the festival...I laughed, I cried (not really, but you can't have the laugh without the cry), I made fun, I enjoyed. Two thumbs up. I know I'm biased (having witnessed the creation process and all), but Mne(u)monic Devices was my favorite film of the evening. It had guns, robots, and fart jokes-what more could a girl want? It was consistently funny and it made fun of itself in places, which is great because I don't like when a film tries to take itself too seriously (did that even make sense? you get the general idea, right?) I think I had an even greater appreciation for this film knowing how much went into it. While one can get an idea by knowing that it took many thousand still pictures and 3 months of social life, you can't really understand it without having witnessed the long nights required, the detail in making the figures, or perpetual fear of knocking something over when walking through the set. Simply put, between the effort that went into this and the final product itself...Mneumonic Devices blew my skirt up. Bonus points for references to viewmasters, geeks and porn, star trek, last but not least, Dr. Noodles Wantanabe.


Nougat was also really good. The opening sequence for it was really cool and it had the feel of an 80s teen romp. It was funny and true. Watching this film was a worthwhile way of spending 20 minutes. I actually wish it had been a little longer because I want to know who Eric ended up calling. Personally, I was rooting for the first girl.

Professor Hobo Shorts: The whole thing about the newspapers being stolen was so much funnier having known it was based on a true story (BAD ADMINISTRATION! BAD!). Looking for all the inside jokes and references was a lot of fun and overall, both of them were really funny. Still wanting to know what "23 man, 23 man is all about." The little kid telling the basketball player how to check for cancer was great-especially since kids that age still pull that one. "If your hand is bigger than your face..."

I WANT TO KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH: A Research Proposal

Last night, I was sitting on the couch, chewing my Sonic grilled cheese sandwich and pondering all the inappropriate things I've ever thought about saying to people I knew for comedic effect/misguided earnestness/lack of social skills when it dawned on me: I should perform a social experiment. So, like any good, scientifically minded experimentor, I made a hypothesis (and selected an alternative), devised a method of experimentation, selected a sample population, and pondered what I'd do with the results of my experiment. So...

Hypothesis:

H0 (being the actual hypothesis): Saying inappropriate things to your friends will cause an adverse reaction.
H1 (being the alternative): Saying inappropriate things to your friends will not cause an adverse reaction. (To overly simplify things, we'll call this reaction "favorable")

Method of Experimentation:

Devise a test question. Administer question to subjects. Record result (unfavorable reaction or favorable reaction. no reaction will be recorded but not included in final tally for the hypothesis calls for either unfavorable or favorable. don't ask questions, I know my results won't be statistically sound).

The test question will in all actuality be a statement. That statement is "I want to kiss you on the mouth." The reason for selecting this statement is that it is startling, simply worded (as to avoid confusion or misunderstanding), and quite direct. The forwardness of this question was also a factor in its selection. Also, this question will induce varied responses depending on if the subject asked is male or female.

Select a Sample Population

These will be people I know. Apparently people I am comfortable enough around to make a complete fool of myself in their presence...people that will hopefully not want to run the other way in the future after this particular experimental encounter.

Use of the Results of this Experiment

I figure this experiment will make good fodder for conversation at Teh Log in the future. It'll be one of those "Hey, remember that time..." stories.


However, having gone through all that time and thought required to come up with this hair-brained plan...alas, I doubt I could ever bring myself to say this to anyone. I'm too shy and too wary of the consequence. So, in conclusion, if I had the guts to ever perform a social experiment, it would be this one...or something similar. And if you ever find me asking you this question in the future...I'm doing it in the name of science.

So...how about that kiss?

Out of Inspiration

Somewhere between the sudden change (for the worse, might I clarify) in the weather, me being burned out on school, and an article about Kill Bill I read in RollingStone magazine, I've decided that my well of inspiration is running dry and what I need to refill the well is a muse. So consider this my formal want ad:

Wanted: Muse

Science geek/sorority girl/graduate student seeking patient and intelligent person with a quirky sense of humor and penchant for odd hours. Cannot be someone I know particularly well but strangers need not apply. Job tasks will include telling me about your life and generally inspiring me to try harder at life. Overbearing and boring people need not apply nor should people who scare. Preference given to those with expertise in a field because that makes for a more interesting muse. Benefits: dental plan (I give you a toothbrush), health plan (I dispense bandaids as needed), homecooked treats (because I don't know how else to show love than with food), social activities, and the occasional (or more often, depending on cuteness/adorable factor of muse) sparky hug. Apply for this position by commenting on this thread.

Truck Hat Hipster

Liquid Generation says: "You're a hipster and you don't even know it. Your John Deere hat is perfectly faded, and you're studying Buddhism even though you care more about your Diesel jeans than inner peace. Your belt buckles arew awesome and so are your black jelly bracelets."

*sigh* I love late night quizzes and tests..especially when I've been sleepy for hours now.

When I was younger, it was my mission to be the "hippest" thing ever. I didn't want to be "cool" or "popular" or "trendy." My thrill in life was being a tried and true hipster and I think I did a pretty good job of it. For a summer, I tooled around in my big, white Crown Victoria listening to my Cake tapes and progressive 1970s music. I ate a lot of cheeseburgers (because hip people eat cheeseburgers...the rationale behind this still escapes me) and wore tshirts advertising local internet startups. I hung with the older people at the local junior college while taking classes and would frequently go to the video store and request random independent films, which I had no hope of ever finding unless I ventured into St. Louis. I once tried to write a script about 3 businessmen stuck in a hotel, trying to make a business deal. In my mind, it would have featured some hip and now actor, Steve Buscemi, and Arnold Swarzenegger because I thought that would be quirky. Turns out a few years later, I saw that exact film on HBO2 (when I realized my social life was beyond repair, I upgraded my cable package). That interpretation featured Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, and that guy from the shortlived Fox series Fastlane...and it sucked...hard. I was so hip it hurt.

So, here I am, 7 years later...I think I'm pretty hip. I watch anime and adult cartoons (not THOSE kinds though, mind you) and take a bunch of pictures...but I never get them developed. That's hip, right? I drink mostly tapwater because bottled water is fashionable, but it's not daring, therefore not hip. I wear quirky shoes, like pink Adidas Superstars and Turquoise Ballet Flats. I've given up on ever finding a copy of Living in Oblivion at the local video store...the one in my hometown, anyway. I hang with the cool and quasi-edgy crowd. That movie about the businessmen in the hotel room...it'll always suck and I'm glad I didn't write it. Besides, I would have never been able to get Arnold Swarzenegger anyway.

Mixin' it Up

Tonight's mixer TriSigma, Phi Tau, and the Pikes went splendidly and the after-party was incredibly cool. Spent the latter part of the evening dancing around the Pike lodge barefoot on top of 8 tons of sand. And for all those that wondered, that was Diet Dr. Pepper in the General. And by general, I mean that large cup with a picture of a miliatry general on it. Like it? You can get one of your own at that filling station on the corner. Don't ask me the name of the filling station...it's just on the corner. In conclusion, the Pikes throw a hell of an afterparty.


My Next Arts and Crafts Project

I have been inspired by Lil Jon to craft my own pimp-goblet for personal party use. Though I'd much rather fill it with something like soda or iced tea than an alcoholic beverage...yet another sign that I'm becoming old and square. But really, don't you think a bright, shiny pimp cup would enhance my quality of life? I agree.

Baking Soda + Cetaphil Cleanser

Allison says adding a teaspoon of baking soda to cetaphil is the best thing ever. I'll have to give that a try one of these days. While on the topic of cleansers, I am still quite in love with my new bar of Dove white soap. I've had 4 showers in the past 28 hours. So see, you can sit next to me. I'm not smelly.

Today

Study, Meeting, Class, Study, Study, South Park, Chapelle's Show, Study, Write part of a paper. How's your day look?

Adventures in Wal-Mart

Hit "Teh Wally" tonight with Nichole and Mr. Devin. I purchased a thing of White Dove Bar Soap, Neutrogena Body Lotion, and Black Radiance eyeshadow (yellow-toned white, black gold, golden olive, and awesome-sparkly mauve). Ran into a bunch of people I knew, smelled every lotion and potion on 3 different aisles, contemplated oral hygiene, and of course, had that UNCLEAN feeling when I returned home.

That UNCLEAN feeling

No, it's not an issue of feminine freshness, it's that feeling that describes how I feel whenever I leave Wal-Mart. Don't get me wrong, I like Teh Wally. It's open 24 hours a day, it has a lot of stuff, you can pretty much do whatever in there (like ride around in the carts and play with the toys)...but everytime I go there-even when I don't touch anything-my hands just feel really dry and gritty and dirty. I generally feel unclean and that disturbs me.

If I had a Manservant

Bentley Farnsworth, former manservant to P.Diddy is now popping up everywhere-videos, shows, live performances. Should I win the lotto, I'm going to hire him, umbrella and all, to do my bidding. Top 5 things Sparky would do if she had a manservant:

1. make him walk around holding an umbrella over me-rain OR shine
2. send him to Wal-Mart to run my errands, pick up my prescriptions, and help me avoid that UNCLEAN feeling
3. have him go make copies of stuff and hand-deliver documents, get the mail
4. take out the trash, because I don't particularly like doing it (I'll do better guys, I PROMISE!)
5. bring me cold beverages, preferably water (because it's better for me than soda), whenever I please. I firmly maintain this will help my efficiency and productivity because I'm in my best form when well hydrated and working, not parched and up finding something to drink

Work Update

Started on my second account today. w00t for being gainfully employed. I'm actually getting really used to getting up and putting on work clothes. Like jeans and tshirts are starting to feel weird because they aren't pantyhose, shirts with collars, and skirts/or-slacks.

Preview for Tomorrow:

Going to a mixer and a frat party. Margaritaville themes and the afterparty will feature a lodge filled with sand. Tuesday should be > *

On the mend

Last week sucked. As if having major tests Monday night AND Tuesday morning weren't enough to start the week off right, I fell ill on Tuesday, which prevented me from participating in Alpha Sigma Phi's annual Spring Fling festivities. So instead of frolicking and partying and having a spirited time, I got to stay in bed and watch the room spin and babies walk across the ceiling. I got to experience a stomach bug of such a nasty degree that I (a person who HATES hospitals) actually thought it'd be a good thing if I went to the hospital for an iv and drugs. I now know first hand what it is like to be so dehydrated that I have experienced a tear-lesscry-fest. So on Thursday, I finally broke down and ventured over to Health Services to get examined. Ninety minutes, stomach palpultations, blood tests, and one mention of the word "appendicitis" later, I walked out with two prescriptions, some advice, and one sore finger.


Aside: that device they use to prick the finger to get blood for tests

You know what I'm referring to? It looks like a little stamper, but instead of a little rubber star or heart or other cute shape, it has metal teeth of doom on them! And the lady cleans your finger and presses it against the side and it feels like they're coring your finger like an apple! I want to find whoever invented that device and poke them with a sharp, sharp stick. In an ideal world it'd be like that episode of the Family Guy where Peter and Co. are in prison and 'ol Stabby McGee (or whatever his name) was on his way to stab everyone in jail for burning down the Drunken Clam...and he finds that they're gone and ponders what it'd like to be stabbed so he stabs himself. "Ow! That hurts! I deserve to be in prison!" Well, I'm sure that if the person who invented the finger sticker were to have his own device used on him that he'd think himself a jerk for inventing it. My finger was sore for 2 days!


Doctor Mom

Mom and Dad came down Thursday afternoon to help mend me back to health because 1) they're awesome and 2) they needed a vacation from Illinois (understandable). After showing Mom the list of instructions the nurse at health services gave me (nothing but broth and juice for 24 hours), she took me to Martha's for a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of veggie soup. I stayed with them at the Holiday Inn Thursday evening and slept...a lot. Spent Friday hanging around with my family and getting some much needed rest. By Friday evening, I was ready to venture out and I've been doing pretty well since. A lot of people have stopped me to tell me that they're glad to see me up and doing better...and that I'm really pale. Oh, and the flavor of jello served at Martha's is red.

Daylight Saving Time

Hey folks! This is a friendly reminder to "spring forward" and set your clocks forward an hour...actually, you should have done this last night.

Things I'll always Like

Convenience Stores and Everything within: I confess! I love slurpies/slushies/squishies and those gigantic nacho cheese pumps (which is such a fat-kid thing to say). I love those little things of ice cream that come with the wooden paddles with which to eat it and the rack of aging magazines in the corner. I love the coolers of ice and that pay phone-you know, the one you have to wash your hands after even just looking at it. I like the "ding" sound of the door opening and the flickering lights. I like looking at the miniature versions of toiletries which are way overpriced (though unless in dire need, i'll never purchase anything from that shelf).

The View: You heard it hear folks, I have an unabashed love of the morning estrogen-fest that is the view.

Smoky Bars: Cheap drinks and second hand smoke are nice, but it's the atmosphere that counts. They're usually poorly lit to boot, which adds to the charm. In an ideal world, I'll live in a place where there's one around the corner with dark wood and green accent (like the padding on the chairs and booths, etc) and it'll have a dart board and this great jukebox in the corner with a predominately Rollingstones selection.

SkeeBall: You have no idea how happy it makes me that there's skeeball at gattis. I really should go more often. And you get prizes for playing-even if you're not that skilled.

Cartoons: I've graduated to things like anime and The Family Guy but the general idea is still there.

Magazines: preferably fashion magazines. There's something nice about staring at pretty dresses and reading articles about makeup after a day spend studying toxic mechanisms and air sampling strategies. It's thoughtless reading.

Watching TV in Bed: It's such a decadent activity, but frankly I don't care.


This gaze into my odd mind has been brought to you by tonight's sponsor: sleeplessness.

Oh, by the way, Happy freakin' April Fools Day.