Hipsters in the Night
For starters, I got drunk on a "school night" (used to be literal, now the figurative term for one of the big five days of the week) twice this week. I endured ergonomics training. My desk was rearranged and just generally trashed, and the fellow who now sits behind me tried to decorate his area with my stuff. Yes, all the desks in TC-L come with marked up calendars and files on hydrogen safety and near miss recording.
There's this bar in the Metro Centre that has free pizza on Monday nights. This part also contains a husky voiced, white haired bartender with a pronounced brick red line around her brick red mouth and a middle aged man named Ray that reeks of CK-One and told me that at age 24, I'm "too damn old" for him. He looked at me and then looked at my coworker and said (pointing to him) "You must work on engines" and (pointing to me) "You must answer the phones." Well, if you want to break down our basic job functions, yes he is right. I'll go back one of these days if I'm brave enough and have the proper company.
The other drinking experience was last night on my balcony, drinking Miller and Blue Moon with the Rev. Thursday was grim but that helped. Also getting my box of goodies from Mario helped. I slathered my face in something called "whitening mask" and have been enjoying skin that's less marred by hyperpigmentation. Then I covered myself in "super emollient apricot body moisturizer." Then I ran around the house nude with the ac on full blast. I love living by myself. Though I have to warn everyone who steps foot in my house that I've probably sat on every couch, chair, countertop while not wearing pants at least twice.
I've been preoccupied with the idea of Bettie Page today. Well, more specifically, I've been thinking about how much (twisted?) fun it would be to dress up in a Bettie-manner and prowl the streets of Peoria. Okay, it'd be fun for me, horrific for everyone else who is not blind. But that could be my "out and about" persona. Just imagine...sensible safety woman by day, bondage queen with black hair and bangs by night. I can just hear the crack of the whip now...
Other preoccupations for the week:
-The idea of going out into a corn field and shooting guns.
-Pumpkin scented lotion from Bath and Bodyworks.
-Chocolate Fondue lip gloss from B&BW.
-My newly cut and highlighted non-sexually repressed bob. It's now redder, bigger, and shaggier. I've been styling it by driving with the windows down and moon roof open in order to get the look of having just had a roll in the hay, without the fun of having done so, of course.
-Gov't Mule. (Deja Voodoo, track #5: Slackjawed Jezebel...wow!)
-People I used to know that loved Gov't Mule and had many stories about the "old" days at MSU. We're talking early 90s here. Whatever became of this person?
-That scene in Kill Bill vol. 2 where Uma tells Bill that "You and I have unfinished business." From the moment where she tucks her daughter into bed and heads down the hall for the final confrontation to the hugging of the lion on the bathroom floor, I feel a lump in my throat because...it just captures the feeling of sneaking out into the night to crucify the ones you loved.
-The musical stylings of Richard Cheese and Lounge against the Machine.
-Greaser boys with skinny asses.
-My favorite color of the week: hot chocolate/warm cocoa.
-The perfect cup of coffee.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
First Solo Weekend in Peoria
Well, I finally did it. I spent the weekend up here by myself - no visitors, no road tripping, no one other than myself stepping foot into my apartment.
Though earlier, I thought the fire department may have been darkening my door as this weird, smoky smell filled my living space. It quickly disipated and all I can figure is that a neighbor severely burned something in the oven because that seemed to be the predominant component of the smell. Crisis averted.
I did go out this weekend. Due to the wonder that is the internet, I made the aquaintence of one Reverend Jeremey and his band of sons. This weekend's adventure took me to a bar in Morton, where I drank an indeterminant quantity of beer and some jager, on to some place called TNT in East Peoria that featured a Zepplin cover band and a barmaid with "jowels" and then back into Peoria, where the night ended screaming along with Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" with the Rev. himself. Sometime around 3, I returned to my apartment reeking of bars and carrying a half dozen Dunkin' Donuts. Best night out I've had in a while.
Today was spent wandering the mall and people watching. An uber-Victoria's Secret opened in the indoor mall, so I spent some time painting myself up in there before picking up a cheap jacket (yay coupons) at Famous Barr. It's cord, of course, and it's red. So now, between my bachelorette pad and my hot red jacket, I'm going to get so much tail. Not really, but it sounds cool to say.
Recruitment went well. I heard the alphas are gorgeous and everyone is really happy. At first, I was kicking myself for not going down to Murray for Bid Day, but at the same time, I'm glad I didn't...something about living in the present and just stepping back and letting them have their moment. That, and I'm convinced I would have jinxed everything. Yes, in the ultimate display of superstition, I'm convinced that my mere presence would cause everything to fall apart. So one could argue that by not being there, I was helping...and getting imperical evidence that the world still turns when I'm not there (yes, I may be *that* self-centered).
This weekend, I also discovered that while warm pants out of the dryer is the ultimate in luxury, hot pants with hot rivets out of the dryer will burn you. I have two small spots on my hips where pants fresh from the dryer have gotten the best of me. Nothing like hopping into a pair of pants and then limping around the apartment going "ow ow ow!"
I also remembered why I no longer drink sugary sodas. Had two Dr. Peppers earlier and I just feel gross. Seriously - sugar water may drip out of my pores the next time I sweat.
And as the final point in this weekend update...I'm ready for fall. It's my favorite season. Right now, the windows are open, the fans are on, the air is off. I've got some pumpkin scented lotion on deck and I'm ready to enjoy all things associated with autumn. It's 60 degrees right now and it'd better stay that way because the summer clothes are going into storage and I'm ready for coats and flannels. Bring on the cider. Bring on the Pumpkin-Fest. Bring on the cool nights. I'm ready to fall into a new season.
Well, I finally did it. I spent the weekend up here by myself - no visitors, no road tripping, no one other than myself stepping foot into my apartment.
Though earlier, I thought the fire department may have been darkening my door as this weird, smoky smell filled my living space. It quickly disipated and all I can figure is that a neighbor severely burned something in the oven because that seemed to be the predominant component of the smell. Crisis averted.
I did go out this weekend. Due to the wonder that is the internet, I made the aquaintence of one Reverend Jeremey and his band of sons. This weekend's adventure took me to a bar in Morton, where I drank an indeterminant quantity of beer and some jager, on to some place called TNT in East Peoria that featured a Zepplin cover band and a barmaid with "jowels" and then back into Peoria, where the night ended screaming along with Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" with the Rev. himself. Sometime around 3, I returned to my apartment reeking of bars and carrying a half dozen Dunkin' Donuts. Best night out I've had in a while.
Today was spent wandering the mall and people watching. An uber-Victoria's Secret opened in the indoor mall, so I spent some time painting myself up in there before picking up a cheap jacket (yay coupons) at Famous Barr. It's cord, of course, and it's red. So now, between my bachelorette pad and my hot red jacket, I'm going to get so much tail. Not really, but it sounds cool to say.
Recruitment went well. I heard the alphas are gorgeous and everyone is really happy. At first, I was kicking myself for not going down to Murray for Bid Day, but at the same time, I'm glad I didn't...something about living in the present and just stepping back and letting them have their moment. That, and I'm convinced I would have jinxed everything. Yes, in the ultimate display of superstition, I'm convinced that my mere presence would cause everything to fall apart. So one could argue that by not being there, I was helping...and getting imperical evidence that the world still turns when I'm not there (yes, I may be *that* self-centered).
This weekend, I also discovered that while warm pants out of the dryer is the ultimate in luxury, hot pants with hot rivets out of the dryer will burn you. I have two small spots on my hips where pants fresh from the dryer have gotten the best of me. Nothing like hopping into a pair of pants and then limping around the apartment going "ow ow ow!"
I also remembered why I no longer drink sugary sodas. Had two Dr. Peppers earlier and I just feel gross. Seriously - sugar water may drip out of my pores the next time I sweat.
And as the final point in this weekend update...I'm ready for fall. It's my favorite season. Right now, the windows are open, the fans are on, the air is off. I've got some pumpkin scented lotion on deck and I'm ready to enjoy all things associated with autumn. It's 60 degrees right now and it'd better stay that way because the summer clothes are going into storage and I'm ready for coats and flannels. Bring on the cider. Bring on the Pumpkin-Fest. Bring on the cool nights. I'm ready to fall into a new season.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Public Speaking
Every time I have to stand in front of a group of people and give a presentation, I always wonder what would happen if I just stood there and purposefully wet myself. It wouldn't be a form of protest nor would it be out of lack of self control. Consider it yet another social experiment. Though I still haven't decided what comes after the purposeful wetting - this is the primary reason why I have yet to do this. See, every action must have a followup plan. Most people only plan up to the act, but rarely think of which appropriate post-plan execution action to take. Thus far, all I have is laugh like an idiot and then proceed to give speech/presentation. But then what? Do I excuse myself from the room? Do I return to my seat and act as if nothing happened? Sure, it'd be warm at first, but then my pants would be cold and itchy - neither of which are good things. And what of the fallout from such an action? Chastised by peers? Reprimanded by supervisor? Worst of all, banished from the cool kids table in the lunch room?
All of this is simply too much to ponder. So when I must give a presentation, I just go to the podium and do it, supposing that the world will never know how to react should I purposefully pee in my pants as I'll likely never do it. That's not to guarantee that one day I won't sneeze and pee my pants or cough and pee my pants...there are endless possibilities to how such an event could unfold. Until then, I'll continue to relieve myself of any nerve pee before a presentation of any sort. But it won't be to prevent accidents - it'll be so the temptation won't be there.
Every time I have to stand in front of a group of people and give a presentation, I always wonder what would happen if I just stood there and purposefully wet myself. It wouldn't be a form of protest nor would it be out of lack of self control. Consider it yet another social experiment. Though I still haven't decided what comes after the purposeful wetting - this is the primary reason why I have yet to do this. See, every action must have a followup plan. Most people only plan up to the act, but rarely think of which appropriate post-plan execution action to take. Thus far, all I have is laugh like an idiot and then proceed to give speech/presentation. But then what? Do I excuse myself from the room? Do I return to my seat and act as if nothing happened? Sure, it'd be warm at first, but then my pants would be cold and itchy - neither of which are good things. And what of the fallout from such an action? Chastised by peers? Reprimanded by supervisor? Worst of all, banished from the cool kids table in the lunch room?
All of this is simply too much to ponder. So when I must give a presentation, I just go to the podium and do it, supposing that the world will never know how to react should I purposefully pee in my pants as I'll likely never do it. That's not to guarantee that one day I won't sneeze and pee my pants or cough and pee my pants...there are endless possibilities to how such an event could unfold. Until then, I'll continue to relieve myself of any nerve pee before a presentation of any sort. But it won't be to prevent accidents - it'll be so the temptation won't be there.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Life, According to Mel
A paraphrase of this afternoon's conversation out in the shop.
"Why you spend so much time here at work."
"Maybe if you find me a nice boy to go home to, you won't see my mug around here so much."
"There are some awfully good ones on second and third shift."
"Gee Mel, that doesn't work so well with my schedule."
"Now I'm sure you know that a husband won't make your life complete. There's a time and a place for everything and it all happens when you least expect it and don't count on it happening. And enjoy alone time. You can do what you want when you want and you don't have to take responsibility for anyone but yourself. Except for my dog and my cat. But have you ever looked at cats? Boy, they have it all figured out. They live in the moment. Those are independent-those cats. We should all be like the cats."
"Who feeds your cats when you're gone?"
"A cat, you can put out a litter box and a few days worth of food and they're set. No one takes as good care of my cat as me."
"I had this yellow tom cat that would scratch me when we left him at the vet while gone on vacation."
"I bet he pissed all over everything too! Tom cats are pissers!"
"Once he got sick and sprayed."
"My cat has never pissed or shit or puked on anything. He does that outside."
"I wish mine had."
"Cats have it all figured out. And one day you'll meet someone nice because there's a lot to do in Peoria. You just need to go to some singles places. But look out for people, they'll use you every way to Sunday. Be sure their intentions are good."
"You're right."
"Friendships are better than relationships because friendships change and that's okay. When things don't work in relationships, you're left feeling violated."
"..."
"So I just go to bars and I sit at the bar when I want to talk to people and sit at the bar. I sit at a table when I want to sit at a table. I need people in my life but not a person. But it'll happen when it's meant to. And there's a lot to do in Peoria."
"Well, have a good one."
"Welcome to Illinois!"
A paraphrase of this afternoon's conversation out in the shop.
"Why you spend so much time here at work."
"Maybe if you find me a nice boy to go home to, you won't see my mug around here so much."
"There are some awfully good ones on second and third shift."
"Gee Mel, that doesn't work so well with my schedule."
"Now I'm sure you know that a husband won't make your life complete. There's a time and a place for everything and it all happens when you least expect it and don't count on it happening. And enjoy alone time. You can do what you want when you want and you don't have to take responsibility for anyone but yourself. Except for my dog and my cat. But have you ever looked at cats? Boy, they have it all figured out. They live in the moment. Those are independent-those cats. We should all be like the cats."
"Who feeds your cats when you're gone?"
"A cat, you can put out a litter box and a few days worth of food and they're set. No one takes as good care of my cat as me."
"I had this yellow tom cat that would scratch me when we left him at the vet while gone on vacation."
"I bet he pissed all over everything too! Tom cats are pissers!"
"Once he got sick and sprayed."
"My cat has never pissed or shit or puked on anything. He does that outside."
"I wish mine had."
"Cats have it all figured out. And one day you'll meet someone nice because there's a lot to do in Peoria. You just need to go to some singles places. But look out for people, they'll use you every way to Sunday. Be sure their intentions are good."
"You're right."
"Friendships are better than relationships because friendships change and that's okay. When things don't work in relationships, you're left feeling violated."
"..."
"So I just go to bars and I sit at the bar when I want to talk to people and sit at the bar. I sit at a table when I want to sit at a table. I need people in my life but not a person. But it'll happen when it's meant to. And there's a lot to do in Peoria."
"Well, have a good one."
"Welcome to Illinois!"
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Mental Slugs
The other night, I had this dream that I decided keep some slugs and snails for pets. I'm not entirely sure what happened that made me dream about slugs and snails, but it was most interesting, neverthless. In my dream, I went to the pet store, bought some slug and snail bedding, foot, housing, and toys for my new snails and slugs. The critters seemed somewhat happy in their slug/snail housing, but I'd frequently catch them longing for the outside world, so I let them loose to wander around my house freely. Soon, I'd see all of these trails of ooze and slug/snail pellets littering my house and staining my furniture. And even though I could follow the oozing trial to find the slugs, I started accidentally stepping on them. I could feel the squish beneath my feet and the liquid and slime flow between my toes and even though it was quite gross, I was too sad that I had killed the slugs to be disgusted. I did not, however, feel bad about looking at the snails and consider making escargot.
The other night, I had this dream that I decided keep some slugs and snails for pets. I'm not entirely sure what happened that made me dream about slugs and snails, but it was most interesting, neverthless. In my dream, I went to the pet store, bought some slug and snail bedding, foot, housing, and toys for my new snails and slugs. The critters seemed somewhat happy in their slug/snail housing, but I'd frequently catch them longing for the outside world, so I let them loose to wander around my house freely. Soon, I'd see all of these trails of ooze and slug/snail pellets littering my house and staining my furniture. And even though I could follow the oozing trial to find the slugs, I started accidentally stepping on them. I could feel the squish beneath my feet and the liquid and slime flow between my toes and even though it was quite gross, I was too sad that I had killed the slugs to be disgusted. I did not, however, feel bad about looking at the snails and consider making escargot.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Measurement
One of these days, I'm going to take a ruler, lay it on the table, place my arm next to it, and draw little marks for every inch. Why am I doing this? I have absolutely no concept of distance. Over the past few days, I've tried 'eyeballing' distances and the reaction I get is just...incredulous that I'll look at a 10 foot gap and declare it to be "oh, about six feet." And I'm being serious. It's like I have no spacial concept. I've never been good at judging distances - I guess that's why I'm so popular with the boys.
One of these days, I'm going to take a ruler, lay it on the table, place my arm next to it, and draw little marks for every inch. Why am I doing this? I have absolutely no concept of distance. Over the past few days, I've tried 'eyeballing' distances and the reaction I get is just...incredulous that I'll look at a 10 foot gap and declare it to be "oh, about six feet." And I'm being serious. It's like I have no spacial concept. I've never been good at judging distances - I guess that's why I'm so popular with the boys.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Thursday, August 04, 2005
We're Going on Vacay!
[23:30] apiangelic: I love these "hoveround" commercials...two old ladies sitting at the edge of the Grand Canyon in their hoverounds...
[23:31] KDsparky17: i want one
[23:31] KDsparky17: i'll get one and ride it around recruitment while wearing great big sunglasses
[23:31] KDsparky17: 'cause i'm old!
[23:31] KDsparky17: and fabu!
[23:31] apiangelic: me too...wanna sit on the side of the grand canyon with me?
[23:32] KDsparky17: only if we can through hot dogs into it and giggle
[23:32] KDsparky17: at the symbolism of what we're doing
[23:32] apiangelic: of course!!! LOL
[23:30] apiangelic: I love these "hoveround" commercials...two old ladies sitting at the edge of the Grand Canyon in their hoverounds...
[23:31] KDsparky17: i want one
[23:31] KDsparky17: i'll get one and ride it around recruitment while wearing great big sunglasses
[23:31] KDsparky17: 'cause i'm old!
[23:31] KDsparky17: and fabu!
[23:31] apiangelic: me too...wanna sit on the side of the grand canyon with me?
[23:32] KDsparky17: only if we can through hot dogs into it and giggle
[23:32] KDsparky17: at the symbolism of what we're doing
[23:32] apiangelic: of course!!! LOL
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I Went to the Grocery Today
2 bags of Spring Mix Lettuce
Raspberry Vinegarette Dressing
Italian Shaved Turkey
Lemon Pepper Shaved Turkey
Provelone Cheese
Honey Turkey Ham, Sliced
A small loaf of multigrain bread, european style
Strawberries
Organic Veggie/Corn Pasta
Blue Moon Beer, 6 bottles (and I wasn't carded)
2 bags of Spring Mix Lettuce
Raspberry Vinegarette Dressing
Italian Shaved Turkey
Lemon Pepper Shaved Turkey
Provelone Cheese
Honey Turkey Ham, Sliced
A small loaf of multigrain bread, european style
Strawberries
Organic Veggie/Corn Pasta
Blue Moon Beer, 6 bottles (and I wasn't carded)
Chemotherapy for the Soul
The weird thing about some medicines is how sick they make you in the process of rendering you well...
Chemotherapy - the use of toxic materials to kill cells en masse. At times the cure seems worse than the disease but then one day, the cancer just stops and the body can then begin to renew itself and here's to a healthy and hopeful future.
This is all true for sickness and disease but what about the people that we know?
If a person can be a cancer on your soul - a persistent stain, multiplying and growing until you feel you'll be eaten from within by having been merely exposed to their existence - why can't a person be the chemotherapy. The one that makes it all goes away, but yet manages to simultaneously lay waste to everything in its path.
True, feeling better and having all memory of the original stain wiped clean, but in the aftermath you realize that while not as indelible as the last person, the chemotherapy creature had the same effect on your state of mind as napalm on a field of vegetation.
Perhaps it's just not chemo at all, but rather methadone for heroin. It's just another bad thing for a bad thing. Substituting one pain for another...
But then again it may be all in the head - a result of being conditioned to think that nothing is right unless something is wrong.
The weird thing about some medicines is how sick they make you in the process of rendering you well...
Chemotherapy - the use of toxic materials to kill cells en masse. At times the cure seems worse than the disease but then one day, the cancer just stops and the body can then begin to renew itself and here's to a healthy and hopeful future.
This is all true for sickness and disease but what about the people that we know?
If a person can be a cancer on your soul - a persistent stain, multiplying and growing until you feel you'll be eaten from within by having been merely exposed to their existence - why can't a person be the chemotherapy. The one that makes it all goes away, but yet manages to simultaneously lay waste to everything in its path.
True, feeling better and having all memory of the original stain wiped clean, but in the aftermath you realize that while not as indelible as the last person, the chemotherapy creature had the same effect on your state of mind as napalm on a field of vegetation.
Perhaps it's just not chemo at all, but rather methadone for heroin. It's just another bad thing for a bad thing. Substituting one pain for another...
But then again it may be all in the head - a result of being conditioned to think that nothing is right unless something is wrong.
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