Sunday, October 30, 2005

Farewell, Night Owl Ways

I eschewed half-heartedly going out last night in favor of watching Saturday Night Live and then crawling into bed. This morning, I woke up at 8:36, erroneously thinking it to be 4:30 pm. Farewell Daylight Saving Time, we hardly knew ye.

After lying in bed (like Brian Wilson did) and watching the last third of Dogma, I decided to seek out a leisurely Sunday morning of breakfast burritos (meh) and Target, picking up glamourous items such as clothes detergent, shower curtain liners, and toilet bowl cleaner. I picked up this stuff called Kaboom, which can be used in one of two ways : Drop 1/3 capful powder into toilet bowl and let foam for a minute, scrubbing to remove dirt, then flush. Or, drop 1/3 capful powder into bowl, let foam for 10-15 minutes, then flush. The water in Peoria, containing who-knows-what, has this nasty habit of staining the bowl, so I forsee having to "kaboom" the bowl on a biweekly basis. Maybe I'll have to "kaboom" my shower curtain as well. The water in this town has stained it and I forsee having to replace this item thrice a year.

I also decided to pick up a new shower caddy. I presently have a suction-cup container overstuffed with bathing implements. Everytime I go to shower, it's moved a quarter of an inch lower. Perhaps the over-the-showerhead caddy will better hold my items without periodically dropping my overpriced shampoo on my foot. Also, I can move my razor from its dangling holder to something that won't drop it, cracking the moisturizing solid. On a side (cringe-inducing) note, I shaved off part of my fingernail last night. No amount of ridgefiller can disguise the damage done. Perhaps my asian lady can do something about this.

Yay! Ghostbusters II is on Comedy Central. /random outburst

I also picked up a decorative wall hanging for the bathroom and a clear vase and some pink-white roses for my bedroom. At first I was going to get some pure white roses, but then I recalled someone once telling me how they love white roses and that's forever ruined that flower for me. I hate it when people tell me things that become indellible in my mind, thus forever ruining something. So, from now on, ivory roses with pink accent is mine and only mine.

While walking past the cosmetics aisle, I saw that the Almay eye-color-enhancing sets were on sale: shadow, liner, and mascara all for the price of one item. The last thing I need is more makeup, but I put it in my cart anyway. I also picked up more face lotion. It's oil free and has spf 15. And older lady told me "it's guaranteed to make you beautiful." I responded with "I'm just looking for some moisture and spf." A $5.50 copy of the X-Files Movie made it into my cart as well. Everything else put in there were cleaning goods: bleach wipes, wood soap oil, detergents, and papertowels.

Finishing all of my Sunday shopping before noon brought on this oddly great sense of accomplishment.

My parents canceled their weekend plans. I'll see them tomorrow instead. This works out well as I'm feeling a tad asocial this weekend anyway. I used to *love* going out with people, but lately, I have no urge to see anyone by the time Friday rolls around. I did go to see Waiting... after work on Friday. This is a funny movie. There's not much to it and a large part of the plot is rooted in the "alien brains" gag, but I'm all for some balls-oriented humor. Check it out, it's a great way to spent 100 minutes.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Public Speaking Training

Work has enrolled me in Powerful Presentations, a course to turn me into the hoss of the public speaking ponderosa. I, a former Speech Team nerd, am having the time of my life. I'll write a more detailed account of my (mis)adventures in this class after I've finished the course and received more sleep. Some highlights of the week thus far:

I've figured out how to make something like those oriental salads from Wendy's: spinach, teriyaki chicken skewers, marzetti asian ginger dressing, mandarin oranges, almond slivers

Yesterday I was volunteering at the "Every Day is Earth Day" Conservation Program for area third graders. Little kids like me. A lot. It's pretty cool. I lost a school though - a whole school. Turns out they snuck off. I did get to high-five a Riverman hockey player while walking around the civic center. He had no teeth; it was awesome!

In Powerful Presentations class (or PP class, as I like to call it), the two engineers sitting next to me are hilarious. Part of it is the nerdy remarks they make. The other is that one looks like Peter Gibbons and the other looks like Michael Bolton. If you don't know who they are, watch Office Space, stat. So "Peter" will mention that he has a wife and then start to laugh giddily. "Michael" talks about staying up too late playing halo and how he needs a car to 'soup up' so he can 'get chicks.' I told them my engineer joke and they finished the punchline and high fived.

I bought the cadillac of flat irons this week and got a bunch of extra goodies. I forsee many days of smooth and sleek hair in my future.
Latent Anger and Letting it Go

Student told his Master that he was so angry with one who had slighted him and was amazed at his difficulty in letting go. It wasn't so much that he couldn't cease to be angry, but rather he didn't see the point in forgiveness. Master told him that he'd teach him the importance of letting go of old slights. "Go to the garden and get potatoes - one for each person that has wronged you. Bring them to me and our lesson will start," Master told his student. Student returned to him with 20 potatoes and took a seat. Handing him a burlap bag, Master instructed student to carve the name of each person he was angry with into each potato. "Place each potato in this sack and take it with you where you travel. By the week's end, you will know the importance of learning to forgive."

At week's end, student was in agony with the stench of the rotting potatoes in his bag. He asked his Master if he could rid himself of the burden of the bag. "Tell me the reason it's important to forgive, student, and you can cease to carry the bag." "Master, when I don't forgive others and release my anger, it rots and festers inside me. I carry it with me and the burden of having it becomes repulsive to those around me. It doesn't affect those that wronged me, but carrying all of this around hurts me."

...I think about this story at least twice a week. I've let go of my potatoes, but some days, I can still smell the stink on my hands.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Self Discovery

This past week, while on the road, I learned quite a few things about myself. Here are a few of them:

- I'm tidier than I thought I was.
- I can iron a shirt and pants in less than 4 minutes.
- I can put complete strangers at ease.
- I can give drunk businessmen the heisman (rejection) and they still seem to think it's charming.
- I dig Ohio and would consider moving there.
- There is no WKRP in Cincinatti. But I'd love to start one.
- I think too much, but I think that's okay.
- I'm perfectly fine with leaving lots of things unsaid because sometimes it's best to just appreciate things as they are.
- I'm most content living out of a suitcase and on the road.
- However, I still like to be able to go "home."
- I can induce lit-up faces and exclamations of "woah!"
- Sourdough bread, egg, and tomato: I dig a sandwich made of 2 of the 3 things I wouldn't eat as a kid.
- I don't have a home. I have five of them.
- I'm in love with the open road.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Lunchtime Blog

It's just easier to go up to my hotel room and hang out during the hour long lunch break than it is to wander around downtown Columbus, looking for food. True, there is a food court next door, but right now, it's much nicer to eat leftover California Pizza Kitchen, watch CNN, and blog.

Tomorrow is my last day in Columbus. I'll have no choice but to go out to eat tomorrow. I do miss eating homecooked meals. Actually, I'm getting a pretty bad case of carb face from eating out so much. I'll be living at the gym in November...but it's hard to say no to chinese take out and pizza when those are the easiest to find options and I can use the company card. At least I'm drinking diet today. Maybe I'll eat some fruit later. But the Drury Inn also has a happy hour. I get three drinks. Three!

Went to the fancy mall out on Polaris Parkway last night. Thinking about going back tonight and picking up a few more polo shirts. I have a ton of polo shirts, but a lot of them have the company logo on them. Wearing a company shirt out and about every day is a lot like wearing a letter shirt every day...after having gone alumna. Anyway, I think I have shirt displeasure because of the one I'm sporting now...it has horizontal stripes and it's pink. It was so much cuter in theory. I may as well have a sign on my belly that says "I like beer. See?"

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Columbus, Ohio

I'm so glad I learned how to properly belly up to a bar a couple of months ago because tonight, I was able to kick back and enjoy a beer in style at a darling little chinese restaurant on Broad Street, somewhere in Columbus.

The restaurant is in some strip mall down the way from OSU hospital. It's decorated with ornamental dark wood partitions and deep red tones. The front of the restaurant is the lounge area. It has chairs that are large and comfortable, but give the sensation of going to toss you into the floor if you lean back to far. I did this more than a couple of times. I need to find a place like this in Peoria...a place to drink beer, watch football, and have almond chicken served to me in broken engrish.

I'm digging the hotel room. The bed is about 1.75 times the size of my full. I will make myself sleep in the center of the bed and deny my usual picking a side. This bed is all mine. I will enjoy it greatly.

Drury Inns are nice. My room came with sodas, popcorn, a 'fridge and a microwave. But I can't get the closet door to shut and that bothers me.

Training starts early in the morning. I'll give reports on how that goes.

Oh, and my hotel has a happy hour and I get 3 cocktails a night. Three. Good times ensue...

Friday, October 14, 2005

Fatigue

I'm so tired my chest feels fluffy.

Also, now accepting people to call for my legendary road trip.

Pants - dry faster. Please?

Today I got to poke a ceiling with a stick. Mama used to scold me for poking the ceiling tiles in the basement with a stick, and now I get paid to do it. Sweet!

I think I have a relationship based entirely on smiles and waves, but it works.

Lincoln, Illinois may not be *that* bad afterall...just stay the heck away from Pizza Hut on Family Nights.

Heck or high water, I'm out the door at 2 tomorrow.

Louisville, Kentucky - here I come!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Sepideh

Tonight I decided to hold a revitilization Wednesday and head over to ye olde outdoor mall for a mani/pedi. Even though I know that there's a good chance my hands will be coated in grease by the end of the week and my toes chipped up from tromping around in substantial shoes, it's worth it just to have all of the dead skin and rough spots removed. It also helps disuade me from biting my nails and chewing on the skin around my fingers. Anything that keeps my hands out of my mouth is good - especially with flu season bearing down on us all.

After an hour of bliss at the nail place, I decided to run into Borders and grab some periodicals. Magazines are the literary equivalent of a one night stand: immediately gratifying and only good in the short term. After they've been read a few times, they accumulate around the house and clutter the flow of energy in a feng shui-derailing manner. An issue of Cosmo and a Maxim later, I'm on my way out the door when I see one of the engineering supervisors from work. Our desks used to be adjacent and I truly enjoyed having her as a cubicle-mate.

Essential facts about Sepideh: she's Iranian, is a brilliant engineer, smells like Thierry Mugler Angel, and is a very warm and inviting person. I'm not sure of her age, but she has this ageless grace about her that I find fascinating. We've bonded over being women of power in a male dominated building and the interesting situations that arise as a result. When I do my monthly safety meetings, she always looks me up to see how it went with second shift as they are notoriously fussy.

She and her husband go to the coffee shop at Borders to pay bills, drink coffee, and just generally get out of the house. I took a seat at their table and ended up spending an hour (until closing time) discussing company culture and the changes that the next 5 years hold. She told me I'd be a good manager/supervisor and shared her philosophy on being an effective leader: be friendly and personable, but unwavering on the most essential matters. Use the natural air of intimidation to advantage but never get wrapped up in the idea of intimidating people. Know your stuff and respect comes from that.

What she said about intimidation really stuck with me because recently, I've felt...self-conscious about the intimidation factor that I perceive myself as carrying. I see it a little at work, but it's most profound in personal life. And as a person that's single and (admittedly) looking, sometimes I fear that I come on strong and repel people with the way I carry myself. Yet, I refuse to change because it's who I am. And I can't be a (totally) different person professionally than I am personally. With the exception of a much stronger filter and a more persistent game face, I'm the same in both worlds and it's equally effective for both.

So tomorrow, I'm going to continue to keep on keeping on and be glad I've got an ally and someone to look up to professionally within the building. It's been a good week, but running into Sepideh at the bookstore made it better.

And when leaving the mall, I saw them getting in their car - with him opening her door for her so she could enter the car first. Good job. Nice husband who looks at her adoringly. BMW. Good outlook on life. She must be doing something right. Yeah, she's awesome.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

This Weekend...

-I was almost kicked in the head by a stripper.
-I drank beer and ate thai food in a parking lot.
-I received some really great hugs.
-I crawled the mall.
-I got a flu shot.
-I'm glad I met people.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Road Call

I'm going to need someone to call in a week...

I don't mean just someone to call up and say hello to. I'm talking someone that I can call at a frequency that's somewhere between periodic and routinely. I need someone to spill my soul to over a pay phone after a drink or five at a hotel bar in Columbus, Ohio. It'll be part of the process of figuring out the answer to the eternal question...what now?

There is this (romantic?) notion that I have about my impending road trip throughout the midwest and midsouth and other mid-portions of the country. Thinking about the week after this trip, I anticipate not having everything figure out, but being closer as the strange revelation of the week was: I have no idea what I want. Professionally. Personally. Spiritually. I just don't know.

So maybe - just maybe - hopping in a car and driving around...for the cost of some ridiculously expensive gas I can purchase some peace of mind and find that by meandering around I can rediscover a place in this world. All while having someone to call "home" to and let them know what I find. Home being a state of mind, having skepticism of the ability of it to be an actual place with any sense of permanence.

This vague feeling of being lost came to me Sunday afternoon while staring out a window...over foggy treetops and landscape dotted by steeples of churches, glistening as they caught the late afternoon sun. Funny how all it takes is a glimpse of home to make one realize how lost they really are.

I just hope that somewhere in those 1400 miles I can find a some new place to call my own.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Bachelor(ette) Living

Once again, I ended my day with my supervisor telling me to go home. "You can't save the world in one day," she'll tell me from time to time.

My first stop was Wee Tee, where I got an extra large bucket of balls and a driving wood. Concentrating on hitting the ball, not slicing or hooking, and seeing how far I can get it to go are great ways of clearning the mind and making the world fade away. It's as nice as hitting baseballs, though there is more thinking involved. But, as with baseball, I've found that the less I think, the better I do. Just keep my eye on the ball, take a breath, and let it go.

My next stop was the Asian Grocery Store for a beer run. I had high hopes of wasabi and other chinese/etc delicacies, but instead found the place to be thoroughly Indian. So I got these crackers that are like a puff pastry with exotic seasoning...and some rooster sauce to adorn them. Miller lite and some tamarinds rounded out my purchase. But crackers aren't a balanced meal for dinner, so I ran next door to Pizza Inn for a medium cheese.

While waiting for my pie, I decided to put a few quarters in the racing game and take a spin through Vegas and a Dinosaur jungle in a white 'vette. Though today I told one of my coworkers that I'm scared of children, I found myself having a great conversation with the 4 year old girl sitting next to me while I played the racing game. Intently watching my every turn of the wheel and shift of the virtual gears, the little blond girl sitting next to me began to cheer me on and give me curious looks when I began commenting to her about how I should have selected an automatic car. By my second (and final) round in the driver's seat, I was asking her input on the type of car I should drive and the course to attempt. I think children like me...and don't tell anyone, but I think I like them back...other peoples' children, of course.

The rest of this evening has been spent ingesting massive quantities of hot sauce and beer and watching CSI and ER. ...and Robot Chicken. Se7en ala the smurfs...smurfin' A!