I Think it was All Just a Dream

Tomorrow morning I leave Florida and return to Peoria...

I'm taking bit of the pirate lifestyle with me. Look for some good things in '09. I have some good pictures too.

I've eaten more rare red meat, drank more alcohol, and spent more time lying in the sun than I have the collective of the entire year. It's been forever since I've felt this good.

Things to do upon my return:

1. Play with Sven.
2. Wash towels.
3. Buy a hookah.
4. Chill beer.
5. "Obtain" the Stone Roses' album from '93...I can't remember the song's name but it's something about "let me put you in the picture, let me show you what it means..."
6. Dust off guitar and give it another shot. I need a genre to learn, and not that surf music stuff either...
7. Pinch myself yet again.
8. Ring in the new year.
9. Sing a chanty and loot and plunder.... I purchased a "What Would Pirate Do?" decision making tool while in Key West - it's pretty awesome. Has a skull and cross bones spinner on it and everything. And yes, I did get a jolly roger flag that's going to hang in my office.

Farewell shorts and sandals...hello wool coat, if only for a few more months.

Brrr

It's a balmy 25 degrees here today with blowing snow and winds around 20+ mph...and today is the warmest one we've had in a while! I'm just hanging out for a bit before being picked up to be carted off to the airport. So, while killing some time, let's have some thoughts about Christmas.

Things I'm thankful for this Christmas... I will start with friends that are willing to come get me and take me to the airport on their day off work. I always feel better about being propelled through the air in an aluminum tube if I can spend some time before with good people. I also feel better about this knowing that said fellow (who is a fellow member in the any-beer-at-any-time club) will probably toss back a couple in the airport lounge with me while I wait to be frisked by security and send on my way.

I'm also thankful for a family that will fly me down to Florida to hang out with them on their holiday break. (As well as for being tolerant of having my plans literally change 3 times in a day, but that will happen when your company is contracting with the times.)

I am thankful for Sven, my new rat-companion. We're still getting to know each other, but he's turning out to be quite the cuddly little guy. There's a lot to be said to having someone looking forward to your arrival home from work.

Facebook has brought to me yet another apology from a high school mean girl. Yeah, those girls were mean, but oddly enough it's suited me well because even before the age of 20, I knew how to deal with maladjusts and bitches and this is a skill that serves me well on the factory floor. File a grievance against me? It's better than a note in my locker telling me to leave town. Being a favorite target of the mean girls, I've later learned, has come from not giving them much of a reaction. I was commended today in writing by one of them for "turning the other cheek" and "taking the high road." Of course, having a rather sweet and sour demeaner could mean that I was mooning them when they weren't looking or getting to a strategic high point to better dispatch with the boiling oil. So...I'm not really thankful for the apologies because that's just a minor footnote added to a minor lift chapter. But I am thankful for the inherent ability to roll with the punches.

Finally, I'm thankful that I still have a job. A lot of folks I work with will start being let go at the begining of the year and it looks like I'm here to stay. (Of course, if I go, that means that the company was probably sold to China or something...let's just things will be really bad if stuff like that starts happening - the cuts get that deep.) I'm thankful I have friends with good business sense with whom to discuss this whole...situation and bounce off ideas. I glad my parents have instilled (what I think is) a good work ethic and never giving up. All of you out there should never give up and I have a story to illustrate why - ask me and I'll tell you in person sometime.

So now I'm off to bundle up, gather some in-flight magazines and set forth on some warmth and adventure.

See you in '09 kids!

Involuntary Eye Movement

Sometimes I notice that when I'm having an unpleasant conversation or when I'm irritated about something and have to talk about it, I can feel my eyes vibrate. I'm not sure if it can be seen, but I sure feel it's there.

Introducing Sven

A blue rat by the name of Sven came come with me from Peoria yesterday. He and I have a lot in common. For starters, we're both nocturnal. We both have allergies and we both like to be scratched behind the ears. Sven seems pretty chill, albeit a bit freaked by his sudden change in surroundings. I've set him up with a rat pad in the corner of my room and he seems to be taking to it fairly well (especially since I removed the platforms and ramps, which were a bit daunting to him). The folks are accepting of him - Mama talks to Sven when she goes into my room and checked on him last night while I was at work. Sven seems to like me well enough, with his natural tendency right now being to hide under my foot or try to crawl into my hoodie. From day one (well, yesterday), he'd let me just reach in and give him a soft pet. We tried out a ball yesterday, but he didn't really seem that into it. He just kind of looked at me like, "what the hell am i doing in a big, yellow ball? seriously." We'll give it another whirl in a few more days. In the meantime, I'm pretty excited about getting to know the little guy a bit better and look forward to working with him. I've read that rats are especially responsive to positive operant conditioning and in addition to being toilet trained, can also be trained to walk with leash and perform tricks. I've already introduced a litter pan to his cage and have began establishing the importance of a positive reinforcement device (dehydrated berries). Of course, I'm going to have to take some pictures and maybe even get him his own petbook page on facebook. So, in short, look forwad to hearing all about my precious little Sven. He's even getting a shout out in the '08 Christmas card.

In other news...it's snowing. A lot. I think we're in the 5-8 inch band. In my future I see...reloading Canyonero 2.0 with sand weights, leaving for work early and driving the whole way in low-4.

Stop the (Garbage) Truck!

I almost didn't get the trash out for pick up today because I forgot that pickup was today and not yesterday (due to Thanksgiving). After hearing the garbage truck rumble down the street I took off, stopping briefly in the garage to step into my shoes, and ran down the street toward the garbage truck as it was finishing up at the neighbor's place.

"Are you coming or going?" I called to the guy on the back of the truck. "Going!" he replied. "I forgot that you were coming today, would you swing around and take my bags?" "Sure!"

So, I ran back to the house and grabbed the three bags and carried them to the end of the driveway, giving two bags to the fellow and tossing another in the back. Mission accomplished.

On the way back to the house, I thought to myself that we have nice garbagemen. Then I also thought that it probably didn't hurt that I ran after them in a tshirt and no bra.

To Sleep or Not to Sleep

I'm noticing that the idea of sleep occupies a great deal of my thoughts these days, but to a third-shifter, sleep becomes like what food is to a dieter: something which was once an automatic thing but now contemplated. Frequently.

Friday afternoon I called it a night around 4 pm, waking up around midnight. I went into the kitchen (in all my AE teal shirt and pj pants with grizzly bears on them glory) and got a slice of pie (berry) and milk and made myself a little nest in front of the tv. However, I soon found myself once again comatose, waking up at 7 - just in time to start watching MadTV and then passing out during a show on the travel channel. I can't quite recall what this show was about, but I find that travel channel is my preferred channel for sleep induction. And then I woke up and it was...9 pm. So, I flipped the channel over to The Andromeda Strain mini-series (A&E, I think?) and had a chicken salad sandwich while waiting for SNL. Post-SNL...lots of web surfing. I made an eHarmony account, but mostly for the free personality test, which told me nothing that I (and the people from the Gallup Interview - more about that later) didn't already know.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I had a Miller Lite and watched Hot Fuzz. Now I'm on a Bud Select and watching the Deathproof portion of Grindhouse. BTW - I'm still holding out for a full length feature of Machete. Don't know what I'm talking about - watch Planet Terror; it's the faux-trailer just prior to the start of the film. Planet Terror is snazzier and more action packed, but Deathproof probably has my heart for the soundtrack, muscle cars, and all the gratuitous shots of bare feet.

I haven't decided if I'm going to try to sleep or if I'm going to just stay up for the remainder of the day. 9 pm tonight will have me at 24 hours, and seeing as how I'm working day shift this week...I probably shouldn't have taken those couple of Tylenol PM a half hour ago. One thing is for certain and that's I need a bath. Haven't had one since Thursday evening and I'm getting to be one ripe petunia!

Yes, I did say that I would be a day-dweller this week. It's true that nothing recharges like night-sleep. It'll be good to return to the 'normal' world for a bit...build up for the weekend. I see being up all night and drinking beers in my future. Also volleyball and tomfoolery before it gets too cold. But in the meantime, I guess I'll wait to see if the tylenol pm-beer combo takes effect and go watch Kurt Russel kill some pretty young things with his car.

Night night?

Top 5 Things Found in Closet While Cleaning Today

1. Bullhorn (kept, dusted, and replaced batteries)
2. A bag of socks with no mates (gave to salvation army...maybe there's a one-footed person that can use them)
3. Rubbers (had a hearty laugh as to why I'd need such a thing and hid them in the medicine cabinet behind my bottle of Jim Beam...yes, I keep a bottle of whiskey in the medicine cabinet because it's for medicinal purposes)
4. A copy of CFR 1910.120 (That's the Hazardous Materials Response OSHA standard for those of you not in the know)
5. 3 Boxes of uneaten girlscout cookies...these came into my possession in February, I think I'll just toss 'em

Halloween Week

I need something to distract myself, so I'm going to concentrate on having a great week of celebrating all hallow's eve. Yesterday, I picked up a skull bucket and this afternoon I'm going to pick up a wig and/or witches hat...maybe a festive Halloween-inspired shirt or at least some pumpkin-festooned socks. I still need to decide on a costume... right now I'm torn between meltdown 2007 model Britney Spears and Sarah Palin. The Britney costume would consist of a pink wig, torn hose, big sunglasses, an umbrella, a bag of cheetos, and lipstick smeared up the side of my face and 5150 letter pinned to my shirt. Sarah Palin would be my glasses, a skirtsuit, a sash that reads "Madame Vice President," a rifle, and a baby doll. Then again, there's always my old standby: whatever I happen to be wearing that day and a set of cat ears. Either way, I'm sure I'll think of something.

In other news, I'm in leadership training the majority of this week, which will be a nice reprieve from the preparation for upcoming CPS-audit mania that's overtaken work. I can't help but feel we're set up to fail this audit and that makes it easy to be fearful of the outcome. Then again, I know that I'm on a winning team with other like-minded people (None of lose. Ever.) so I know that while it'll be a race to the end, everything will be all right. But being away from work will do me well - my brain is oversaturated with it and all things related to it and found there.

Today...horror movies on AMC. Right now is Pet Cemetary; Nightmare on Elm Street was earlier. Christine is next, but by the time the credits roll on this one, I may be Stephen King-ed out, though craving a return trip to Maine.

I Wish I was a Stingy Bastard

My generosity bites me in the ass again and again. While I've done a great job of not being taken advantage of financially, the first united bank of feelings has suffered yet another armed robbery. I'm locking up the feelings bank and throwing away the key. No more tokens, no more offerings, nothing to be given without preemptively getting something in return. I guess we live in a world where giving equates to neediness and either I send out the wrong signals (needy) or I actually am (needy). Perhaps I lack the ability to strike a happy medium of give and take, so I'll try my hand at take, take, take for a while and see if that gets me any further.

So get me some crime scene tape and set a perimeter, lock the doors, we're closed for business...

...UnbeSMURFinlievable...

This is the most unbelievable thing I've seen on the internet in...forever. If MSUR were still around, I'd be tripping all overmyself to post this video. It's the epitome of NSFW! (Not safe for work).

This clip is all in spanish and will probably be perceived by many as disgusting. But I implore you to skip ahead to 3 minutes ahead into the video and enjoy the twisted depravity that is the Smurf F*ckfest. Listen with the volume on and try not to be titilated or fall over laughing.

Listen to This

My latest cd compilation, custom made for the mm (alas, still no word on how it was received):

Up All Night - Unwritten Law
Gasoline - Seether
Dead! - My Chemical Romance
Come What(ever) May - Stone Sour
Send the Pain Below - Chevelle
For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic - Paramour
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
Bother - Stone Sour
The Red - Chevelle
Home - Daughtry
Best of You - Foo Fighters
Like a Stone - Audioslave
Fade Away - Seether
No One Knows - Queens of the Stoneage
Blue Veins - Raconteurs


Regardless, I think it rocks...

That Term for a Fate Date

What's that thing called where notable events occur on the same date? There's a word for it, but I can't remember what it is. The term itself is an allusion to something that could possibly be fate but is likely a neat coincidence. I'm positive there has to be a word for this.

Screwy Sleep Schedule

Let me start by saying I've got to stop sleeping in the chair, in my clothes, with the tv on. For starters, it's kind of pathetic, not to mention I'm noticing a connection between the number of times I sleep in said configuration and the number of times I sleep with my makeup on and wearing contact lenses. This whole nocturnal thing may be catching up with me, but I still refuse to let it do so.

Dreams from the Recliner

Slept in the recliner for 11 hours yesterday and had lots of dreams. From the dream dictionary, a random sampling of meanings from said dreams:

Airplane

To dream that a plane crashes, suggests that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. Your goals may be too high and are impossible to realize. You are in danger of having it come crashing down. Alternatively, your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt toward the goals you have set for yourself is represented by the crashing airplane; you do not believe in your ability to attain those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.

Fire

To dream of that you are being burned by fire, indicates that your temper is getting out of control. Some issue or situation is burning you up inside.

Government

To dream of the government, signifies power and the qualities/feelings that rule your life. For example, does greed, lust, or love guide you in how you live? This dream may also reflect your views about society at large.

Tattoo

To dream that you have tattoos, represents individuality and the desire to stand out in a crowd. You want to be unique and different from everybody else, particularly if you do not have any tattoos in real life. Consider also what the tattoo is.

Hotel

To see a hotel in your dream, signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking. Or you feel the need to temporarily escape from your daily life.

Kiss

To dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment.If the dream ends just about you are about to kiss someone, indicates that you are unsure of how he or she really feels about you. You are looking for some sort of relationship with this person but you are not sure about how to go about achieving it.

Love

To dream of love of being in love, suggests intense feelings carried over from a waking relationship. It implies happiness and contentment with what you have and where you are in life. On the other hand, you may not be getting enough love in your daily life. We naturally long for the sense to belong and to be accepted. To see a couple in love or expressing love to each other, indicates much success ahead for you.

Amusement Park

To see or be in an amusement park in your dream, indicates that you need to set some time for leisure and more enjoyment in your life. Consider how everything in the park is an expression of some aspect of yourself. Alternatively, you may be too easily distracted lately.

To dream that the amusement park is empty or abandoned, suggests that you need to open yourself to more fun and adventure.

Friend

To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.

Table

To dream that you are lying on a table, indicates your need for nourishment and relaxation. It relates to health concerns and anxieties about your well-being.

Night

To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. There are some issues in your life that you are facing that are not too clear. You should put the issues aside so you can clear your head before coming back to it. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth and new beginnings.

Autumn

To dream of autumn, indicates that something is about to come to an end and something new will begin. Alternatively the dream is symbolic of the cycle of life.

***These dreams were two parts: in one, it was like I was watching a movie about two government agents and they died in a plane crash and one declared one for the other right before the plane crashed and burst into flames. One lived, the other was obliterated and burned. In the next dream, I was the star along with one of my pregnant girlfriends and it was autumn at a Silver Dollar City-like amusement park and we too turns lying on a table to get matching tattoos. Mine was blue and had vertical bars incorporated into it.***

Vertical

To dream of a vertical line or something that is vertical, symbolizes the spiritual realm and the supernatural.

Blue

Blue represents truth, wisdom, heaven, eternity, devotion, tranquility, loyalty and openness. The presence of this color in your dream, may symbolize your spiritual guide and your optimism of the future. You have clarity of mind.

Where are My Pants?!?

In a bit, I'm going to Kohls to pick up a couple of more pairs of Dockers because my pants have been vanishing. I put them into the laundry and they are never again seen. I've checked all the closets, behind the dryer, and in the closets - no pants. I have a coupon to use too! Better stock up, have to make it through the week.


Creed Bratton is my Hero

I love Creed on the Office. When I grow old, I want to be just like Creed. And somedays right now I feel like I'm 32% of the way there.

Put Your Back into It

I've fuxored my back. It hurts, but I can stand upright now, which is way better than I was doing yesterday. I was actually sent home from work early last night because I couldn't stand upright and was having problems walking. Mama said that I was standing like I had torn something and then later she patted me on the head and told me I was just getting the flu. Finally, just before she went to bed, she freaked out about maybe I have kidney stones and shoved two bottles of water and a warm beer at me. Such are the stages of diagnosis and treatment by Doctor Mom.

I did get a day's worth of excellent sleep filled with strange pain-killer induced dreams. Can barely remember most of them now, but do recall in one of them receiving a magic vending machine that would give me orange soda and the tv channel Showtime. In another dream, I was stocking a boy's bathroom with my toilettries as in said dream I was now spending considerable time at said boy's house. I remember agonizing over the products that I'd put into his shower because I didn't want things to over-chickefy his domain yet I needed my beauty stash to be one that was effective and perhaps something he wouldn't feel emasculated about using should I not be around.

As for products in the waking world, allow me to sing the praises of the Soap & Glory stuff from Target. Right now I've got the Hair Supply conditioner, Scrub of Your Life body scrub, and Clean on Me body wash in my shower. Post shower calls for Righteous Butter Lotion and Girligo moisturizing body spray. By the time I've used all of this, I'm floating through a cloud of peach-bergamont-fresia glory. And even if I'm overly odiferous after this, who cares, I think I'm fabulous.

Random Facts versus In Depth Knowledge

How much do you really have to know about a person to really know them? Sure, there's knowing the facts, the stats, but isn't that like just being able to memorize a formula? I always say that you can memorize the periodic table but that doesn't mean you know chemistry. (Yes, I'm a chemist, can't you tell?) But what's the sum of knowing the random facts? Riddle me this Batman, after how many random facts can you say you're at least getting a good idea? Do the stats, specs, and bits of trivia eventually add up to making you be able to say that you know someone?

Here are 5 facts about me:

1. I wear a size 10 shoe
2. I'm not really left handed (the watch and eating habits fake out a lot of people)
3. I'm a Coke person, not a Pepsi person
4. I was hit by a car at age 11
5. My favorite movie is The 'Burbs

How Not to Woo via Online Dating

I tried the online dating thing again (first time was so that I could go speed dating with Andra) and this foray lasted 6 days. The exchange that prompted my retirement went something like this:

Dude: Want to meet for breakfast? (talking to a fellow 3rd shifter)
Me: Sure, sounds good. Thursday work?
Dude: That'd be good. Could you pick me up from work? I got a DUI and lost my license.
Me: ....

And that hat was hung up and that's it for me. Oh, and the endless barrage of messages from baby daddys and 60-year olds.

Online dating? I'm breaking up with you

1 Bride to Be + 1 Totalled Car = 1 Bachelorette Party Weekend, a Flood of Fun

I went to St. Louis for the weekend to join some gals in sending our friend Kat off into matrimony in style. My contribution to the evening: 6 Litres of wine, some cups and a bottle opener. We set up home in the Hampton Inn down by the Landing and I immediately began stocking the fridge and party-proofing the room (and laying claim to the recliner, sneaky gal I am).

The evening's festivities began with the decoration of the bride to be (veil, check. penis shot glass, check. tshirt of things to do and not to do - do the groom, not the gardener. bake for him, don't cook hamburger helper. check) and the drinking of more wine. Then came our next featured guest - Summer the sex toy sales lady! My purchases - 3 jars of concoctions named "nympho niagra," "x-scream," and "bossom buddies." You can guess what these are supposed to do. You can also guess how much these will get used. You can stop laughing now. Right before intermission time, one of the gals called up one of her friends to share my wisdom that "heat treating makes it hard." See, stuff like this is what happens when you fill a hotel room with female engineers, get them drunk and give them sex toys to play with. You have giggly girls wanting to know the torque of a vibrator and demonstrating the right-hand-rule on a dildo. Seriously - it's good times.

From there we went to The Big Bang for some piano bar awesomeness. Kat got to molest the cute piano players and wear a hard hat. We did shots with lady soldiers and I got to stick my ass into some guy's crotch and relish the drunken joy of being in a place where you can just walk up and grab some random guy's buns, not having to worry about what happens after that and just being able to enjoy the squishy feel of a handful of hot ass. White russians were consumed. After that - Morgan Street Brewery...I don't recall drinking that much but I remember how nice it felt to be outside in the early fall and to be conversing with new people and talking to boys. Went back to the hotel, crashed. Woke up briefly to a pint of guiness being offered to me, but I must be getting old because I just sniffed it and put it on the nightstand, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Sunday morning is when the real excitement started. Kat's phone was ringing and ringing and ringing. When it was finally answered, it was a frantic Christina telling Kat that the storm drain/sewer pipe at her complex had burst and flooded the condos at the bottom of the hill and the visitor's parking lot...where Kat had parked her car. We knew it was bad, but figured it to be a total loss when a short while later, Christina called back to tell us that people were being evacuated and that the windows on Kat's Honda were going up and down and the alarm was going off and lights flashing - the Honda's death rattles.

Kat and I were able to get to the car after the water receded - around 2 pm and it was ugly. A thin film of nasty, sticky mud (shit-mud) coated the ground. It was slick and sticky and horrible but thankfully it did not smell. There was a line of grass clipping, dirt, mud, etc around the honda - just above the door handles. When we opened the car, the leather seats were coated in a thin layer of shit and mud and the cupholders and floorboards were filled with brown water, which thankfully, did not smell. Everything in the car was ruined, save some cds we could salvage. We pulled out anything that could be used to steal her identity, left everything else in the car and pulled off the license plates. And then we set off for the longest and yet non-awkward trip back to Peoria. My heart seriously goes out to Kat for the loss of her car. It's going to be a big next 30 days for her - new husband, new life, new car.

Kat's good people. I hope State Farm is good to her and that she gets a good check for the untimely loss of her car. Despite having to total out a car, it was still a pretty good weekend - she said so, so it must be so. I don't think I'll ever be at another bachelorette party that was so rock and roll. Then again, I have another one coming up in October. Here's hoping that one is dry.

Steward Got Ran Over by a Cushman

I ran over the union steward's foot with a cushman scooter this morning. In fairness to me, it was his fault because as I drove off, he put his foot under the wheel. Another supervisor was on the back of my scooter when it happened. I drove forward, felt the cart go over something and heard Mike, the other supervisor, yelling. Steward was all "Haha! I made you run me over! But I'm wearing steel toed shoes!" and I was all "wtf?!?" This was the same guy that I told to never say 'fuck' in front of me again a few weeks ago. With the exception of putting his foot under my wheel, he's been doing pretty well since then.

Hour by Hour Boards

We keep hour by hour boards on our production... I'm going to occupy myself tonight with keeping hour by hour stats on what I do while working Friday night/Saturday morning:

10:00 pm: Arrive at work one hour early...with minifridge and microwave to help make the office more comfortable. As I said when putting it into place in the corner, "My goals is to make everyone's life better while here."

10:30 pm: Read email, see that I have been invited to a meeting with labor relations first thing (my last thing) Monday morning. Go to "The Dave's" office, hang out with 2nd shift.

11:00 pm: Pop in a cd of tunes to keep me occupied tonight. I call this mix "It's 3am and everyone knows where you are." Includes Foreigner, REM, Clapton, Pink Floyd, Kid Rock, Heart, and Lenny Kravitz. I think it's good times - especially the Foreigner part.

11:04 pm: Walk into the door while leaving the office. Crumple my left hand into my stomach - fortunately my doughy physique shields myself from any major damage.

11:05 pm: Drive around, verify who is present and who is not.

11:10-11:45 pm: Make small talk with various people. Check to make sure the front office didn't flood. Raided the supply cabinet. Bad news is that it still smells like someone hurled in there and then closed the door. Good news is that it's been restocked with medium point pens. Grab some medium point pens and binder clips, check my office mail.

12:00 - 12:35 am: Reformat the weekend overtime posting list and print a copy for the other supervisors working this weekend. Create a cheat sheet of overtime posting codes...the codes for accessing the overtime sheets, not the codes for how to code the overtime. Chew a piece of pomegranite gum (which is good, but dissolves into goo after 10 minutes) and refill my diet coke.

12:35 - 1:00 am: Check facebook, clean up my overtime files and review some standard work documents.

1:15 am: Try to retrieve my desk nameplate from under my desk drawer, papercut my right wrist open. Recall cruel irony of having once said "I wish she'd papercut her wrists on her terrible poetry and quit effing everyone elses' boyfriends." (A few of you know which oh-so-emo , oh-so-tortured town bicycle I was referring to here...I guess Milwaukee really is where old whores go to retire.)

1:35 am: Decide to start blogging from work...

2:00 - 2:25 am: Decide to inventory rough stock. Notice an inside out, discarded rubber glove at the bottom of the steps. Stop and reflect on how nasty the handrails look, make mental note to clean them later. Make 3 complete laps around the shop, power-walking style.

2:30 am: Complete a safety score card and enjoy a packet of peanut M&Ms.

2:50 am - 3:40 am: Walk around the shop some more; attempt to get a cup of coffee but realize the vending machine is not working. Recall one of the operators telling me that particular coffee vending machine does not work. Walk 2 more laps around the shop and then return to my office. Pop in the Elizabethtown soundtrack. Write some goals for my quarterly review. Complete an online lesson about kanban. Notice I scratched up my left arm pretty good while digging for my nameplate earlier.

3:45 - 5:00 am: Complete more online learning courses. Print out inventory sheets. Gather safety observation cards

5:00 - 6:30 am: Climb up racks to check part numbers and quantities for rough stock inventory. Return to office and check upcoming work orders to see what can be shipped back to the rough yard areas. Type up an evening summary for shift hand off.

Now: Update this blog post. Drink another diet coke. Get ready to go home.

You Never Boil Me Pasta Anymore

Today is the first time in almost 4 years that I can remember making spaghetti. I find it hard to believe that I could go so long without boiling spaghetti noodles, but aside from this morning, the only time I can distinctly recall doing so was back in the day.

In other news, I wore my hair down last night because it's finally cooling off. One of my operators asked me if I had a date before work and the 3 of the shop ladies give my hair do the thumbs up. My fellow supervisors noticed that I wasn't rocking my usual ponytail and glasses combo too.

I guess the John Hughes movies were right - you can make a huge impression by ditching the ponytail and glasses.

BTW - I ditched the glasses because they literally fell apart last night. I jokingly said that I had seen something so awful that it broke my glasses. Truth be told, they came apart as I was pulling them off my face.

And as the epilogue to the guy that stole ice cream from the cafeteria last week...he brought his paystub to me last night saying he had been shorted 8 hours of pay. I took it to the time keeper and it turned out he was paid time and a half for 12 hours instead of straight time for 8 and time and a half for 4 one evening. When the time keeper corrects this, it will deduct money from his paycheck. Cruel irony or karmic retribution for the ice cream? My boss said I should tell him that the ice cream was deducted from his pay...I think I'll pass on that.

Simple, Afterall

Tonight, I stayed up late tonight and drank a lot of coffee. I enjoyed the silence of Wal-Mart after 12:30 am and considered buying a beta-fish, which I would have named "Monster." I drove around the country, looking at the stars out the moon roof and listening to southern rock. I watched Elizabethtown and got all teary-eyed/homesick the same way I did the first, and only other time I saw it a couple of years ago. And then I sat in the recliner and thought about all I really want right now is a place in the country and an old hounddog and maybe a glass of makers on the rocks. And then I opened up my computer and posted this. And now, I'm going to sleep.

Touch Me, I'm Going to Scream

Labor day weekend in upon us and for some reason, I feel so amped, it's like I could jump clear out of my own flesh. Ames is coming up tonight and we're hitting up Chi-town tomorrow. Shhh - don't tell her, but I'm thinking of trying to find the lost race track in Raceway Woods again (same as the ill fated journey all around the 'burbs Miss Katie and I took a few years ago).

I've been on this huge making mix cd kick lately, rocking out to yet another one last night/this morning/today/whatever. Have I mentioned lately that I don't know what day it is anymore? It's just something that comes with the territory of working 3rd...but then again, I never knew what day it was 1/8 of the time anyway on days, so... But I've been all about forming the best sonic scape possible with my music at hand so I have something comfy to wrap myself in while driving from point A to point B. Of course, it's so nice that when I get to point B (or point HH), I don't want to leave the car. So, I've been taking music in with me and just listening to it (no headphones, I'm inconsiderate, yes? but my mixes are proving popular) at the computer, cranking it up the best the puny speakers on my laptop will allow. I'm causing people to come down with bad cases of nostalgia with some of these tunes; they make for great conversation starters.

This music helps me keep me in my happy place and stay invigorated. Manic? Maybe. But I'm getting the sonic warm and fuzzies and it's keeping me itching with anticipation.
For what - clean starts, new perspectives, getting to know people better, fall (which signals the begining of the end of this most challenging year). But I'm excited, the air feels electric and this is the soundtrack to it all.

BTW - even if we don't find the race track this time, I know I'm still getting Benihana out of the deal for driving. w00t!

Did You Just Say 'F**K' at Me, Boy?!?

Fuck. It's a word that's now lost all impact on me. Not that it ever really had much before, but now that I'm on the shop floor all the time and dealing with labor relations issues on a regular basis, "fuck" is as routine as "this" and "that."

Last night, one of my operators came in early and was acting surly to the 2nd shift management. He was spouting off with attitude unparalelled to that of a snotty pre-teen girl. We're talking arms folded, eyes rolling, under the breath muttering, full on bitchiness.

Also, I think he stole ice cream from the cafeteria, but I can't prove it...

Anyway, I'm doing the shift hand off with 2nd and it's mentioned to me that operator-dude wasn't running the lathe. He had told 2nd that he had been instructed to only shave and not to lathe, so that's what he was going to do. He even went as far to tell 2nd that, "you're not my supervisor; she gets here for 3rd." Fine, good to see I have authority?

Well, I get there and we're in the area and 2nd asks him again why he isn't lathing his parts. The response is silent treatment and we proceed onward reviewing the area. However, less than 50 steps away, the decision was made by yours truly to go back and tell him to fire up the lathe and get going at the parts. I get over there and the fellow is reading the job instructions and I ask him, "Are you reading the job instructions to lathe those parts." He rolls his eyes at me and says "Sure." So I told him, "I want you to lathe those parts." He just looks at me blankly. "I said I'm telling you to fire up that lathe and get going on those parts right now." He snaps upright and quickly turns around and goes toward the lathe because he knows that insubordination is bad. However, he's muttering stuff about the Company and I clearly hear him say "fuck."

"Did you just say 'fuck' at me?" I called to him. No response. In a bigger voice I repeated, "Did you just say 'fuck' at me, boy? Don't you say 'fuck' at me!" He turns around, "No." "No what? No you didn't say 'fuck' at me?" "No I didn't say 'fuck' at you!" "Then who did you say 'fuck' at?"
"...No one..." And then I gave him the directive: "I don't ever want to hear you say 'fuck' in front of me ever again. Do you understand?" He looks at me. "Do you understand!" "Yes." "Okay, see you at the start of shift meeting."

The other supervisor asked me if I was all right and I was and told him so. However, this exchange became the topic of the next meeting I had with the other supervisors.

Later today, I had to repeat my prohibited harassment training, which is required of all employees every 3 years. For some reason, I find this kind of a fitting way to end the day - started it yelling 'fuck,' ended it talking about why you should'nt say 'fuck.'

Now that I'm writing this word in official company documents nearly weekly, the word has lost most all effect. Save for that if it's said in front of me by that operator, I get to send him home. Weird...

XXX Acai-Blueberry-Pomogranite Mix

Dusty - Kings of Leon
Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing - Chris Isaak
Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Pt. 1 - My Morning Jacket
After it All - Cat Power
Love Whip - Reverend Horton Heat
In the Evening - Led Zepplin
Lollipop - Lil Wayne
The Other Woman - Devendra Banhart
Evil Urges - My Morning Jacket
Naked, If I Want To - Cat Power
Blue Veins - Raconteurs
Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Pt 2. - My Morning Jacket
All Night Thing - Temple of the Dog


Inspired by my vitamin water, night driving, and that guy that looks like a muppet yet is neverthess dead sexy!

A Few of My Favorite Things - Last Week of August 2008

- XXX Vitamin Water: The triple-X is for triple antioxidants in this tasty acai-blueberry-pomagranite mix, not for a Vin Disel movie

- Louisville, KY: one of the most awesome places on earth. "God's Country. Duh"

- Denman Be Bop brush: it's a round scalp massaging brush made of super soft plastic. It's touted as something that can be used to distribute shampoo or styling product through the hair, but I like to use it to rub my scalp. I picked this up at a pit stop outside of Indy and later when Deez asked me what I was up to while driving I told him, "Rubbing my head and listening to My Morning Jacket"

- "Evil Urges:" the song (cd is good too) is trippy and sexy all at the same time

- P-town Climate: Sorry Lou, I'm growing accustomed to 68 degrees and 20% humidity in August

On the Road Again

About to embark on my journey back to Peoria. Spent the weekend hanging with my D.A.B. Allimon and the best doggie in the world, Miss Madders. It has been a truly relaxing weekend and while I'm not particularly excited to get back into the swing of things, it's good to feel refreshed and ready to go at it again. At least I don't have 2 weeks of 12+ hour shifts and weekend work to look forward to. In retrospect, I should have taken all of this week and the weekend off. Oh well, I'll just have another excuse to come back this way - vacation days to use. I still haven't matured to the point of wanting to go on trips to exotic places, chilling with friends I haven't seen for a while and chill weekends in Kentucky.

Picked up some tunes in Ear-X-Tacy yesterday and look forward to having some ear-gasms on the trek home. Think the weather is going to hold, though I do like a nice overcast drive - not as much glare. Heading west, windows down, cool wind in hair - I do love the open road.

Have cell phone charger - will travel. Feel free to call and entertain me as I trek through the vast bussom of Indiana.

14.5 millimeter balls

A conversation in our office this morning between the team lead and planner...I sit right between them.

Team Lead: Hey Steph, I need some balls!
Planner: What size balls you need?
TL: I need the 14.5 mm
Planner: 14.5 mm balls coming up

wait about 2 minutes

Planner: It'll take a day to get them.
TL: Damn, I really need some balls.
Planner: Too bad, they won't drop until tomorrow

(btw - when something drops, that means it's placed in queue to be delivered to a work area)

Me:

TL: Are you laughing at my balls?

Me: ...bwahahahahahahahaha

zzz

Slept for 18.5 straight hours...t'was glorious

Bonus Post: Happy Place

Clicky for happy thought of the day

(nsfw...if you don't feel tingly watching this, you're a corpse)

Weird Dreams from the Couch

Got home from work yesterday morning, changed into my beloved red and blue plaid pajama pants and plopped down on the couch with a big 'ol cup of Today Show on NBC. I didn't even get to blink twice and I was down for the count, aware of the world around me only briefly, around 6:00 before going back to my semi-comatose state until 9-something. But I was aware of the string of odd and vivid dreams that occupied my sleepy time.

First, I was at some old place that was in or around Decatur and staying in one of those old fashioned motels - the kind that are one level and you park right outside of your door. Don't get me wrong, my lodging was nice enough, but it was most certainly old. I dined at an old diner, surrounded by old people, and then went to a really, really old building for some sort of meeting, no doubt with old people. And once I was at this meeting with old people in an old place, we went to this room in the middle of the building where there was this large, foam pyramid that was surrounded by a ball pit. We (the royal we - me and fellow old people) stripped down to spandex unitards and raced to the top of the pyramid. That was the end of that dream...

Next, I was a little boy in a house that was filling with lava - but this was a Pixar cartoon and I was a cartoon boy imperiled by cartoon lava. I stacked my toys in the corner and when the lava came near, I tossed them out the window to save them. I was barely able to save my xbox and lost a controller to the cartoon lava. I jumped out of the window to escape the cartoon lava and met my cartoon father and cartoon dog in the front yard. My cartoon mother was out there and this little lava demon arose from the cartoon lava. In my dream, my cartoon mother used to be some sort of an ice goddess that was married to the little lava demon. For reasons my cartoon little boy brain did not fully grasp, my cartoon mother left my cartoon mother and I to go be with the little lava demon. This was done somehow to save the world...or at least our little cartoon family.

(I swear there was no crack ingested prior to napping on the couch - only 2 cinnamon raisin biscuits from Hardees)

Next dream - I'm in WalMart and there are professional wrestlers in lucha libre masks jumping out of dark colored wooden drunks and changing all of the tv channels in the electronics department to...wrestling.

Final dream - I'm an ingenue in a high necked halter dress...it's black. I have long, straight black hair with bangs and large, green, black rimmed eyes and red lips. I am admittedly hot. And I am being chased by a crazed killer in a car. The dream screams of "Death Proof" but it's not exactly...better dialog and not as much over-talked build up to the action. Everything ends in a swamp and I end up in the lake (meow!). The dream ends with credits rolling and I was, in fact, the ingenue in peril in a Quentin Tarantino film. Things leave an opening for a sequel.

...And after the credits ended, I saw one of the fellows on my softball team remove the dvd of the movie that I just starred in from the dvd player, place it in the container and take it downstairs and put it in a picnic basket, walk outside, and join me and the other team-members for a backyard bbq.

I slept so hard that I didn't go "WTF!?!" until almost a half hour later, while stepping out of the shower. Oh well, they were fun dreams.

Happenin' Tune

"Carmensita" by Devendra Banhart ... heard this a while back and didn't know what it was or who did it, but I'm lovin' it

Other Stuff I Love Today

Biore Pore Strips - 1/3 grooming, 1/3 science experiment, 1/3 S&M potential ... count me in

Fresh Peaches - no explanation necessary

Watchmen movie trailer - ++props for remixing SP's TEITBITE - finally this song is used to promote a worthwhile superhero movie

White 300 count sheets - they have to be white or they just don't count. I won't lie on anything less while updating my blog

Meronoa mens' socks - the kind that are supposedly made of bamboo - they wick foot sweat like a thirsty sponge...one that craves foot juice

73 degrees, 40% humidity, Light breeze from the southwest at 15 mph - these atmospheric conditions work for me

-BTW-

RIP Estelle 'Sophia Patrillo' Getty - hope you're living it up at the big Shady Pines in the Sky

Oh nos! Tornadoes!

So about 5:40 this morning, I'm puttering past heat treat in my scooter when the take cover (aka tornado) sirens go off. After herding my folks into the bathroom (aka the storm shelter) we proceed to just hang out in there for about 25 minutes. It was very uncomfortable - 15 people jammed into a single stall bathroom, sweaty...it was very humid and at least 100 degrees in the space. By the time we poured out a bit after 6, most of us looked like freshly boiled lobsters. On the bright side, the shop was about 15 degrees cooler after the storm and wave two of the front that came rolling through wasn't nearly as bad. At least we weren't hit by a tornado and thankfully, no one had to poop!

Rock Gods are Human Too

I rarely blog about current events, much less, celebrities. Much, much, much less, celebrities that aren't even really celebrities to the masses or the general American public. However, my inner 19-year old is presently way bummed to hear that one of the lead singers of one of my all time favorite bands is facing drug charges. No, I'm not talking about Scott Weiland of STP/Velvet Revolver...again...I'm refering to Steven Page of the Barenaked Ladies.

Those of you who knew me back in the day know that I loved (still do) this band. I sing the praises of their live shows, filled with humorous banter and masterful musicianship. I really dig this band not for their catchy tunes, like "One Week," but for the fact that the band is 5 true musicians and showmen who make some damn good songs.

Aside from having an absolutely beautiful and operatic tenor, Page has mad song writing skills. He writes songs that are absolutely bouncy morsels of pop perfection peppered with wry social commentary and sprinkled with the bits of cynicism yet hopefulness - anthems for the bitter, yet motivated if you will. A lot of his songs are about the duality of the psyche - singing about having a whimsical day while at the same time lamenting about the horrors of the everyday.

But personally, I love his stuff because a lot of it contains themes that I deeply identify with - and I'm not talking about all the pipe dreams of what I'd do "If I Had a Million Dollars." Having to live up to the pressure of being the person you're expected to in "What a Good Boy." Absolutely loathing where you live and hoping it crumbles into the ground like in "Hello City." Becoming a passive aggressive asshole trying to be kind in "Break Your Heart." Afraid of people finding out that you don't have it all together after all in "This is Where it Ends." Of course, there's the funny stuff too, like "Alcohol," "In the Car," "It's Only Me (The Wizard of Magicland," about getting drunk and falling down, high school groping, and masturbation. I guess a lot of us can identify with those as well too.

So, fandom aside, I think the most disturbing thing about this is that this guy isn't your average rockstar and BNL isn't your average band. They've always had a more average joe and clean cut image than most any other band out there, save for the Osmonds. Yet this is a group that's never really gone out of its way to profess they are a squeaky clean family act. I guess in the age of drunken benders involving being pronounced dead, head shaving, biting the heads off bats, snorting your father's ashes, crotch flashing, and shark sandwiches, all it takes to be branded squeaky clean is well...not doing any of the aforementioned, which really takes no effort at all. Page was always better known for promoting literacy, recycling, and being somewhat active in social reform. And in all of that is the disturbing fact that there's little relished more these days than watching someone like that be burned at the stake for doing something that's, well, rock and roll. And cocaine is pretty rock and roll. (We're such hypocrites and prudes.)

So my inner 19-year old is bummed because this may mean no new albums, no tours, no performances for sometime. But this also means that if I think the uncommon rockstar is susceptible to common rockstar problems, that I had hero worship and I don't care who you are, it sucks to watch a hero fall from grace.

Question of the Day

Is a fast food breakfast as special when it's possible for you to have it just about every day? Without having to rush to make it there before it becomes lunch time? Debate.

Got Caught in a Tornado on I-55 Friday

Whilst headed downstate on Friday evening, Mama and I were caught in some gnarly straight-line winds on I-55 south of Springfield. The big rigs came to a halt on I-55; we (and everyone else) were pulled over on the side of the road because the rain and hail was too insane to proceed onward. At one point, all the precipitation stopped and then we were bombarded by straightline winds coming from the west. I could see the grass and crops on the side of the road bend over, almost to the ground, and feel the car rocking. It felt pretty freaky!

6.02214179 x 10-23 ^ malignant!!!

I'm having a mole cut off my arm 2 weeks from today. Here's how it went down: Saturday - smooth, flat, freckle-looking spot on my arm. Kind of cute, right? Sunday - mole itches, i scratch it and it hurts, it's a raised bump. Oh, a pimple, right? Ney - it starts bleeding on me. So not a pimple. Monday - it's still there. Tuesday - same story. Today, it hurts when I press on it. And, at the bottom of the raised skin is an elongated, demonic version of the cute, little freckle it used to be.

I'm getting this bad boy chopped off in 2 weeks. Something changes that fast, it's gotta be some skin cancer baby!

I Love the Night Life

I've been at the new job a month now and this week marked my start on 3rd shift. Let me say for the record: I love 3rd shift. This, of course, makes me what a lot of people would call "not right." I could have told you a long time ago that I've never not been "not right." Actually, even when I'm "right," it's just a very mild version of being "not right." But, aside from that, here are my top 5 reasons why I love working 3rd:

1. No meetings
2. Riding around on a Cushman scooter is super fun
3. Everyone just wants to work and be left alone (therefore I just get to work and be left alone)
4. It's now socially acceptable to eat bbq for breakfast and drink beer at 8am
5. More sleep (seriously, I slept 10 hours yesterday and still had time to goof around 3 hours before work)

Some Weeks, You Just Survive

I wouldn't go as far as to say that this week was a bad week for me, personally. It was most definitely a bad week, for a lot of the folks around me, which makes it a challenging week, personally, when sometimes you just don't know what to do for others.

Monday: average day, final staff meeting, can't really recall much about this day

Tuesday: a man was killed by a steel plate in the service level of one of the buildings at work; found out about this around 3 pm and immediately went into fact finding mode; got to hear all of the gory details while in medical and the first responders/emts were going through the post-incident debriefing

http://www.pjstar.com/news/x61384796/Contract-worker-killed-in-accident-at-Cats-Tecnical-Center

Wednesday: woke up early and got several boxes of Lesters (local donut-house goodness) to take into work as comfort food for the staff; the guys investigating the incident both looked like they hadn't slept for days; went down to the service level and did a pre-OSHA visit sweep - stood at the spot where the guy died for about 5 minutes just staring into space; sat around a conference room phone with the rest of the staff and just watched everyone mindlessly eat donuts while getting instruction from corporate and our attorney; enjoyed a subdued going away party and cleaned out my desk to leave

Thursday: was at hospital from 6:30 am to 9 at night; Mama had a partial knee replacement; afternoon excitement came courtesy of Mama's roommate (OSF too crowded for her to get a private room) - a gal my age that had been in a head-0n collision that closed 29 that morning. I take this road to work (well, Friday was my last day of that) and it's freakin' dangerous - everyone driving all crazy-like with no center divider. There's at least one spectacular crash (usually fatal) on this road a year in the mornings, usually in the summer and it results in the road being shut down to clear across the bridge. I went to the other side of the curtain and stayed with the gal until her mother got there; the news had announced that she was dead during the morning news and updates and it wasn't retracted until noon. Highlights of the day included seeing Mama get color back in her face and feeling well enough to eat a fish sandwich, dinner with Dad at the Hofbrau (mmm - sauerbraten, spatzle, and red cabbage), and getting an act of kindness certificate from the head nurse for hanging with the girl that was injured until her mother arrived.

http://www.pjstar.com/news/x120332772/Traffic-back-to-normal-on-Galena-Road-after-head-on-collision

Friday: didn't get into work until around 9:00, but when I did get there, I had 6 dozen donuts for the shop offfice and shop floor; walked around handing out donuts for about an hour and then straightened up my desk for about 45 minutes before being collected to go to another going away luncheon at T.G.I. Friday's - and having a couple hours of enjoyable company and good advice for how to be a supevisor. I got to hear a lot of stories about the strike back in the 90s and we talked about the recent smoking ban. Finished cleaning out my desk, labeling stuff for the next person to occupy the area and left to go sit in the sun and drink beer. Went to the hospital, then to dinner, and finished the evening falling asleep watching "Spies Like Us"

http://www.pjstar.com/archive/x1170287629/UAW-files-unfair-labor-practice-against-Caterpillar-over-smoking-ban?view=print
http://www.pjstar.com/news/x2031783662/UAW-Cat-suspends-workers-who-defy-smoking-ban

That Time I Auto-Sterilized in the Juice Aisle at Wal-Mart

So I'm standing in the juice aisle at Wal-Mart tonight and to my right I notice jabba-the-mama (obese woman covered in tattoos, wearing a spaghettie strap tank top) and her 6 dirty-faced children. Two of them are screaming. One, during the course of screaming fit, grabs a jug of grape juice and sends it crashing to the floor. Three of the kids are standing in the purple mess, the girl (approximately aged 12 years) starts screaming, "My crocs are filling with juice!" Mama-the hutt yells at the kids to stay where they are while she gets someone to clean up the mess. The 12 year old girl, still standing in the juice, proceeds to scold the child that did it. "You're a bad baby! A bad baby!" Images of future juvie hall residents fill my mind. I'm convinced I feel the eggs in my ovaries popping like little bits of bubble wrap. Watching this literally gave me a period.

Crocs!!!

Mama is having knee replacement surgery in June. The doctor recommended she get a pair of crocs to wear around the hospital and to rehabilitation.

The great question of the day is this: are crocs okay with a doctor's note? Or are they never okay? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Playlist for Week Of 5/12:

Wish - Nine Inch Nails (a fave)
The Perfect Drug - NIN (++points for cool mark romanek music vid)
Creep - Radiohead (rawk!)
Bat Country - Avenged Sevenfold (holy guitar shred, batman!)
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake (wiggle that bum around)
Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth... - Primitive Radio Gods (excellent)
Soul to Squeeze - Red Hot Chili Peppers (an all time fave)
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve (poignant)
Toy Soldiers - Martika (80s!!!)
Playground Love - Air (dreamy)
Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (all right!)
Paranoid Android - Radiohead (cool vid, but woah! at ball jiggle)
High and Dry - Radiohead (how suiting)
Stay (Faraway, So Close) - U2 (how appropro)
Karma Police - Radiohead (sonic excellence)
Closer - NIN (always end with a a scorcher)

Whattaweekend

Wednesday 7 pm - Sunday 7pm:

lasagna*night driving*love line on 105.7 kpnt*work fill-in-puzzles*sleeping in/today show*driving*stocking up at the winery*mothers day shopping* sushi (in a boat!)* the office*sonic goodness*sleep*skillet breakfast burritos*clarksville*olive garden*shopping*baby mama*raffertys*princeton*reminiscing about back in the day*football tonsils/saltwater gargles*being in awe of suprise 05*pizza*bison at lbl*toms*apple*3.8 second beer chug*farewells*playboy*more sleeping goodness*huddle*travel*mothers day*travel*home

estimated miles traveled: 1000
friends hugged: 12
"i love you mans": 8
beers: ~8
diet cokes: too many
fun: yes

"Cause She's Younger than You Therefore It Costs Less to Date Her" aka the Weirdest Dream Ever

This morning, I woke up literally wearing the look of 'wtf' all over my face. Like, when I stepped into the bathroom to put in my contacts, I still had that 'woah' look plastered on my mug. So, having some spare time on my hands, I went to ye olde dream dictionary to figure out what was up.

Here are some of the interpretations of things that were in my dream:

Refrigerator
To see or open a refrigerator in your dream, represents your chilling personality and/or cold emotions. The dream may also be telling you need to put some goal, plan, or situation on hold. Alternatively, it signifies that you have found and accomplished what you have been unconsciously seeking.

Marriage
To see a marriage in your dream, signifies commitment, harmony or transitional period. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself.�Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at incorporating within yourself.

Hotel
To see a hotel in your dream, signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking. Or you feel the need to temporarily escape from your daily life.

Carpet
To see a carpet in your dream, represents your way of protecting yourself from life's harsh realities. Alternatively, a carpet symbolizes luxury, comfort or richness. Consider the condition and designs of the carpet. Are you hiding something and sweeping it under the carpet?

Ammonia
To see ammonia in your dream, signifies that you will experience some distress over the behavior of a friend which will result in a strain or separation of the friendship.

Limousine
To see a limousine in your dream, indicates that you have an exaggerated sense of self-worth and self-importance. You may also feel the need to show off and impress others. In addition to the above, if the limousine is black, then it suggests that your are unwilling to make changes or yield to others. Alternatively, it may symbolize prestige, wealth, and power.

Prom
To dream that you are at a prom, represents cycles and the passage of time. This dream signals an end to something and the beginning of something else. This dream may also signify your anticipation of your own upcoming prom in real life.

Blond
To see a blond person in your dream, suggests that you need to enjoy life and live it up. Be a little glamorous.

Sandwich
To see a sandwich in your dream, suggests that a lot of pressure and stress is being put on you. It also reflects your ability to do two things at once. However, sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich.

Bathroom
To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, it may symbolize purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically

Compact Disc
To see� a compact disc in your dream, represents a need for enjoyment or a distraction.� It denotes opportunities and possibilities. Consider the type of music and the title of the compact disc. If you are giving away the CD, you may be trying to convey a message to that person within the songs.

Army
To see the army in your dream, symbolizes an overpowering force working against you. You may feel outnumbered or pressured and unable to deal/overcome this situation.

To dream that you join the army, suggests your feelings of superiority. You feel that no one is any match for you.

A HOT Topic

I've taken the ASM Course Heat Treatment of Steel in an effort to diversify the number of things I can do. It started with one of those "for fun" kind of things (yes, most girls knit for fun, I case harden) but now I'm seeing that this could help mah career, so that's added a new dimension to things. Regardless of the payoff, I'm glad I've taken this course, it's blowing my mind. The topic's just so far out and groovy.

On a side note, if I were ever to work as a heat treat engineer or in a related capacity, the temptation is there to make a tshirt that says "Heat Treaters make it Hard."

In other news (and Mr. Deez heard me kvetching about this today), sitting at the bar. Yes, I was completing my heat treat tests while drinking beer and watching the Cubs game at BW3 - anyway, I've come to the conclusion that technical tests with graphs, numbers, and drawings of crystal structures and furnaces is the 2nd best way to keep men away at a bar, the first best way being a baby (preferably a screaming one). There was a fellow sitting next to me working on the Chicago Tribune and New York Times crossword puzzles (who am I to judge, with my test taking and all) that was aloof to everything, except the bartendress saying something about birth control. He butted in with "I found out it doesn't always work 6 weeks ago when I got my girlfriend pregnant." I proceeded to scoot my chair 2 clicks to the left (that would be away from this person).

Other Monday notables - Change Master training at the bank building downtown. I'm having a good time with this and am excited about having the word MASTER on my resume. And since we're downtown, I get to eat out of the food carts. Anytime you can eat out of a box with chopsticks, the opportunity can't be missed. I also found 'cheap' gas on War and University for $3.29/gal. WTF at that being new cheap - I guess that's the new normal. That's a change that everyone opposes yet accepts - the perfect topic for discussion in Change Master training Day 2 tomorrow.

Second to last volleyball game was tonight and lost 0-3. The other team had a gal that played volleyball for Bradley University. Her spikes were scary until Brittany told me to pull down her shorts next time she jumped up at the net. It's been a long time since I've played against someone that hit the ball that hard.


Today's Count:

amt. beer consumed: 96 ounces
# aces and kills in vball: 3 and 2 (setting is fun, but I have to make opportunities to spike it)
# miles driven: 42 (the country is nice, but i miss living IN Peoria)
Memphis.chokeCount()++1;

"Don't Forget Your Penis Cream"

American Pie 2 is on USA right now and as I'm still amped up from the drive back to Peoria and my shoulder is burning wicked bad, I have no choice but to wait for the yummy Japanese noodle soup and Tylenol PM to kick in so that I can sleep a bit before kicking off the last full week of March (marzo, en espanol).

While watching this, I've come to the conclusion that "Jim's Dad," as played by Eugene Levy, is one of the coolest dads in tv/movie history. Just watch the scene where Jim's in the hospital after supergluing his hand to um, himself, and Jim's dad is asking the doctor how to speed up the healing process as European hottie Nadia will be coming to town. Great scene.

Bad Car-ma

I started my Monday morning by having my brakes go out. Now, let's just stop for a second so I can clarify that the brake fluid didn't actually start shooting out until after I had stopped the car and was in the process of examining the tire. Let me tell you - nothing stinks like boiling brake fluid. It smells like a turbo fire but way worse and I kept smelling it in my hair for the rest of the day. But the fact of the matter is, boiling brake fluid coming out of the wheel == muy muy mal (that's very, very bad to all you hombres not down with the espanol). And after this, I experienced a first: having to have a car towed.

Cut to 36 hours of hitchhiking (kidding!) around Peoria later and I'm cruising off the lot, rocking a new set of brake pads and drums and feeling good about the world. Hop, skip, jump to 4 hours later and I'm prepping my car to be towed back to the dealership tomorrow. This new set of pads and drums lasted me a whopping 25 miles! The lovely sound of "metal-to-metal" was my soundtrack for the last 1.5 miles home.

And wouldn't you know, I paid the damn thing off on the 8th.

One Million Dollars* to whomever Gets My Comments up and running

*paid in Schrute Bucks

Another Way to Achieve Clarity

Some people meditate for days or go on fasts. Others run in marathons or take large quantities of magic mushrooms.

I've puked my guts out for the past couple of days. Either it's the stomach flu or the large amounts of Firehouse pizza I gorged on Monday night. Regardless of origin, when you're ill and have time on your hands (absense from work...I just didn't want to make a bad impression all over anyone) to do some thinking. So, I've spent my time thinking of...

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Seriously, I've sat on my duff and watched the History channel and Amazing Videos on Spike TV. Large amounts of CNN sportszone, afternoon news, and of course, my beloved guilty pleasure the TODAY SHOW. I've eaten jello and saltines and started drinking regular (Sprite) soda again, and taken naps during the day. Granted, I've yakety yak yak yaked, but I'm actually in pretty high spirits. It's so nice to just shut off my brain and concentrate on the simple things in life, like sunning myself in the window and concentrating on not sharting when I sneeze. Yes, GI ailments are an awful, awful thing. But sometimes they give you the time off that one so desparately needs.

Rainy Days can be Lovely Days

Greetings from the lobby of the Hampton Inn in Murray, KY. I'm finishing up some stuff for work before departing to meet with some friends and then be on the road again. I'm going to be driving through some interesting weather: rainstorms, ice, sleet, wind, and snow. Bring it on! Have tunes and will travel (2 new Cat Power cds and a Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds set from my trip to Terrapin Station), though I could easily pick up the soundtrack to Natural Born Killers after last night's viewing at the Curris Center. I actually wasn't overly disturbed by that film, but all of the green screen was really starting to mess with my head.

I'm actually going to drive as long as I can with the windows cracked to indulge in as much fresh air as possible. I love a good rainy day every now and then - it washes everything clean and gives a nice gloss to the world. Even driving in it doesn't bother me that much, just need to take it easy and watch out for the other guy.

I think I'll take things nice and easy (steady!) for the remainder of the week. Nothing that I can think of in the immediate requiring quick action or anything less than calm and deliberate behavior. This weekend was much needed.

The Anti-Suicide Note...or Why I'll Still be Breathing Tomorrow

So tonight, I was talking to my dear friend, Gibson, about how awesome my life is going right now and he inquired if I'd 'be okay' tonight. I assured him that my belt was for keeping my pants up, the window of my room does not open, and I no longer wear shoes with laces. But it got me thinking - if I were to kill myself, what would I put in the note.

Think about it - it's the last thing I'd ever write..man, now that's pressure! What if something is misspelled or I misuse the word 'myriad.' Maybe I confuse my active and passive verbs or throw in some word/phrase that has been made up and while common knowledge among my inner-circle, people misread me being 'owned by life' and think I offed myself because for financial reasons and horrible rumors start about me that I am unable to defend myself against because I have offered myself up as worm food.

Don't even get me started about having my burial arrangments being picked out for me. Mother has already purchased plots for the whole family in tiny little lake town, which is the last place on Earth where I want my remains to rest. She'll also pick out some horrid pink outfit for me and do something weird to my new bangs. Just the thought of spending eternity in Illinois, wearing mall hair and an Olan-Mills-worthy outfit is enough to make me want to live to fight one more day.

Final reason why I'm not going to kill myself tonight: the expulsion of the bowels upon expiration. Those who have seen South Park know what I'm talking about. Simply and crudely put, you shit yourself when you die. And if I'm going to be found with pants full of poo, it's not going to be at an age where I should know better or have been able to control myself.

In summation, you're going to see me tomorrow. I'll be up and wandering the streets before hopping back in the Canyonero 2.0 and trekking back to Peoria, frozen tundra that smells like beer. Granted, for all practical purposes, I'm homeless and I'm extremely heart broken, but I still have 2 job interview this week. I have to go make my mother proud because to her, the measure of one's success is not the worth they see in their own life (and right now it's just barely enough to not go suck on a tailpipe, but at least that's a start) and their level of happiness (though it makes me smirk a bit that there are people out there who care enough to not help me further emotionally destory myself) but rather what they can achieve. And let me tell you - those Little Lebowski Urban Achievers have nothing on this gal.

What did you achieve today? If you see me, you'll know what I achieved. Congratulate me - I dare you.

...

Show the person you love that you care - break up with them

Effed

Basement is flooded. Weather is awful. I think I'll move to Mexico

Super Bowl Upset

Patriots lose - Giants win! David versus Goliath or karmic retribution for the whole filming plays scandal? Either way, tonight's game should make for some good watercooler fodder tomorrow.

I have a feeling I'll be staying up late tonight - have been sleeping a lot the past 3 days (worked from home Friday due to the 8 inches of snow coating the winding, hilly path I am required to take to get to work - and had quite the productive time preparing for Best Practice roll out; there's a lot to be said about working in a recliner) and getting way into the first 2 seasons of Breaking Bad on AMC. It's a show about a chemistry teacher that starts cooking drugs. Mr. Jeff and I have been picking apart the episode (props for the cameo appearance by our favorite acid, HF) while he works on his MBA and I blog and window shop for makeup and clothes.

(Seeing the new Clinique spring collection takes me back to February 2005 when I got the spring bloom line and spent the subsequent months adorned with soft shades of peach accented with lime green.)

Other highlights of the weekend included:
- baking a loaf of 9 grain bread that I accented with my own polenta-add in (Sparky bakes her own bread now - yet another reason to love her)
- watching movies (Shoot 'Em Up is incredibly vulgur and wrong...a modern day piece of grindhouse-style cinema and I loved it. btw - Monica Bellucci is gorgeous!)
- taking naps
- quesidillas at Jalepenos
- Mama's chocolate cake
- discovering that the East Peoria Kroger is a nice substitute for my beloved ghetto-Kroger on Sterling

In other news...
Still living in the basement of my parents' house, still happily engaged to Mr. Jeff, still freezing me arse off here in Peoria (though 30 degrees is starting to sound warm). I've been spending my evenings playing volleyball, becoming conversational in Spanish, and learning the basics of heat treating. The science of metallurgy is blowing my mind because I've never thought about phase change diagrams in the sense of the behavior of metal. (I've always thought more gaseous-liquid behaviors...)

And, wow - I just realized this is my first post since October.