Weekend Update
I've gone on a reading binge. Right now I'm simultaneously reading Red Dragon by Thomas Harris and Sideways by Rex Pickett. The plan is to have Sideways finished by next weekend for when I go to check out the film at Maiden Alley in Paducah. I'm also going to start reading Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham.
Last night was potato soup and beer night. Good times were had by all, though I did miss a few folks. I'm trying to enjoy seeing an apartment full of people while I can because in a few months, I'll be in a brand new city, more or less starting over (though I'd really rather not) and having to find more people for companionship. You bet your ass I'm keeping the friends I have now (you're all > *) but for a lot of you, I miss you already.
I take the GRE tomorrow. All I need is scores to graduate, so that takes some of the pressure away, but then again, I know that whatever is worth doing is worth doing well...or well enough to be able to take comps (comprehensive exams) so that I may finish my Master's. Anyway, if you see me after four tomorrow, there's a good chance I'll be either drunk or...in some other sort of form. I'll be wanting to burn off stress somehow and would rather have company for said activity.
I've been having happy dreams lately. Those who know me well know that my dreams are often dark and violent. But the past few mornings, I've actually woken up smiling. And as for this morning, there's just something to be said about waking up from a delightfully naughty dream. ..
Last night's by myself and before bed moment was my favorite of the semester thus far...curled up on the couch under an old lamp and decorative lights, with a good book, the radio softly playing in the background, relaxing and feeling comfortable and satisfied with life.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Pray to Scholastic Jesus
Light a candle and pray for forgiveness! I've had another encounter with the Christ Amabassadors.
While studying in the library the other night, I encountered the girl from "Witness Volleyball." As she's always a pleasant little thing, I do not mind exchanging pleasantries with her. Of course, all conversation immediately goes back to Christ Ambassadors or our Lord and Savior (who, don't get me wrong, I do love dearly...especially since he writes most of my papers and keeps the fire and brimstone at bay). She asked what I was working on and I told her about my insurance stuff. I asked what she would be working on and she said Spanish...and then asked if she could pray for my test.
Seeing as how tests are hard and I need all the help I can get (and am always up for a new 'life experience' and just wondered what would happen) I said "Okay, but only if I can pray for yours too."
So we grasp hands and she rattles off a fast but very eloquent and gushing prayer...and then it's my turn.
"Dear Lord Jesus...You rock..."
wait, it gets better...
"I know you speak Spanish and you do it quite well. So help her learn the Spanish so she can speak it as well as you oh Lord..."
I should interject right here and let you know that I wasn't trying to be disrespectful or blasphemous. Prayer is something that is usually very private to me and I'm not good at doing it vocally or when on the spot. When I converse with G-d, it's like an actual conversation because my G-d is an enlightened and incredibly laid back deity. I'd envision G-d as the wisest drinking buddy that a person could have-nonjudgemental, supportive, open minded, and incredibly col. I try not to actually ask for things because I'm sure He's bothered enough already by peoples' wants, wishes, and that whole killing in His name thing. Anyway, I'm not good at doing a lot of things vocally and on the spot-it usually comes out unintentionally funny. If you don't believe me, ask one of my sorority sisters or just keep reading.
"All things are possible through you and your awesomeness oh awesome Lord. Thanks and have a good evening. In G-d's name, Amen."
...and then I was hit by lightning.
Light a candle and pray for forgiveness! I've had another encounter with the Christ Amabassadors.
While studying in the library the other night, I encountered the girl from "Witness Volleyball." As she's always a pleasant little thing, I do not mind exchanging pleasantries with her. Of course, all conversation immediately goes back to Christ Ambassadors or our Lord and Savior (who, don't get me wrong, I do love dearly...especially since he writes most of my papers and keeps the fire and brimstone at bay). She asked what I was working on and I told her about my insurance stuff. I asked what she would be working on and she said Spanish...and then asked if she could pray for my test.
Seeing as how tests are hard and I need all the help I can get (and am always up for a new 'life experience' and just wondered what would happen) I said "Okay, but only if I can pray for yours too."
So we grasp hands and she rattles off a fast but very eloquent and gushing prayer...and then it's my turn.
"Dear Lord Jesus...You rock..."
wait, it gets better...
"I know you speak Spanish and you do it quite well. So help her learn the Spanish so she can speak it as well as you oh Lord..."
I should interject right here and let you know that I wasn't trying to be disrespectful or blasphemous. Prayer is something that is usually very private to me and I'm not good at doing it vocally or when on the spot. When I converse with G-d, it's like an actual conversation because my G-d is an enlightened and incredibly laid back deity. I'd envision G-d as the wisest drinking buddy that a person could have-nonjudgemental, supportive, open minded, and incredibly col. I try not to actually ask for things because I'm sure He's bothered enough already by peoples' wants, wishes, and that whole killing in His name thing. Anyway, I'm not good at doing a lot of things vocally and on the spot-it usually comes out unintentionally funny. If you don't believe me, ask one of my sorority sisters or just keep reading.
"All things are possible through you and your awesomeness oh awesome Lord. Thanks and have a good evening. In G-d's name, Amen."
...and then I was hit by lightning.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Living Permutations
Tonight, while rearranging my living space, I started thinking about math. Specifically, my mind fell on the topic of combinatorics because all my tasks seemed to center around accounting for all of my items (objects) and then bringing order to them to attain the most favorable conditions (uncluttered closet, specficic drawers for specific types of items, etc). While I didn't take the time to figure the exact number of ways I could dress myself in the morning, I did think about the order in which my living room furniture must be arranged. I have a couch, a loveseat, three small tables, a lampstand (table on which my lamp must specifically go-really, it doesn't look right sitting atop anything else), and a bookcase (n=7). I cannot duplicate the objects in my living room, therefore there are only 5,040 ways in which I could arrange the items in my living room (n! = 7!).
...I think at least 30 of those arrangements were attempted.
One would think that with over a thousand ways of arranging a space, it would be easy to select an arrangement, execute it, and then return to watching the Grammy Awards (Yeah! Ursher was robbed man, Ursher was robbed!). However, there is no way that I know of which allows one to calculate which order is the most asthetically pleasing, offers the best flow of energy (yes, I'm riding on the feng shui bandwagon), and an unobstructed view of the television. True, one could look at the list of possibilities and cross out the ones which are impractical for the purpose. But then I suppose that would eliminate all the fun associated with spending two hours moving furniture, inspecting the work, reattaching the leg to the couch, and once again moving furniture. So with all the numbers floating around...the only pertinent score of the evening ended up being Couches, 2. Movers, 0.
Tonight, while rearranging my living space, I started thinking about math. Specifically, my mind fell on the topic of combinatorics because all my tasks seemed to center around accounting for all of my items (objects) and then bringing order to them to attain the most favorable conditions (uncluttered closet, specficic drawers for specific types of items, etc). While I didn't take the time to figure the exact number of ways I could dress myself in the morning, I did think about the order in which my living room furniture must be arranged. I have a couch, a loveseat, three small tables, a lampstand (table on which my lamp must specifically go-really, it doesn't look right sitting atop anything else), and a bookcase (n=7). I cannot duplicate the objects in my living room, therefore there are only 5,040 ways in which I could arrange the items in my living room (n! = 7!).
...I think at least 30 of those arrangements were attempted.
One would think that with over a thousand ways of arranging a space, it would be easy to select an arrangement, execute it, and then return to watching the Grammy Awards (Yeah! Ursher was robbed man, Ursher was robbed!). However, there is no way that I know of which allows one to calculate which order is the most asthetically pleasing, offers the best flow of energy (yes, I'm riding on the feng shui bandwagon), and an unobstructed view of the television. True, one could look at the list of possibilities and cross out the ones which are impractical for the purpose. But then I suppose that would eliminate all the fun associated with spending two hours moving furniture, inspecting the work, reattaching the leg to the couch, and once again moving furniture. So with all the numbers floating around...the only pertinent score of the evening ended up being Couches, 2. Movers, 0.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Reflections on Valentine's Day...or Leave a 20 on the Nightstand on Your Way Out
This weekend marks the celebration of everyone's (least) favorite Hallmark Holiday, Valentine's Day. Also known as that day of the year where inconsiderate and unappreciative behavior is supposed to be atoned with a box of chocolate and some flowers. Toss in a teddy bear if you've been especially thoughtless over the course of the past 365-someodd days. For those of us who are more hopeful about love and dating and all the drudgery it entails, it's a day to be as mushy as you please. A day where the dreaded PDA (that's Public Displays of Affection to the uninitiated) suddenly become socially acceptable and works wonders for making some sigh and swoon, while working equally well for making those with poor gag reflex suppression need mints (in this case, wouldn't it be a "vomint") on at least an hourly basis.
And while I find it counterproductive to sit here and complain about something that isn't even a real holiday, this year I can't help but feel a bit wistful. This is the first year in a while I will be spending this nonholiday alone. Granted, I'll be spending Monday night with not one but four or so "dates" (which sounds more exotic than the truthful term "buddies"), I am a bit disappointed that I won't even have someone to smooch at least once sometime during that day. And yet I am resolute to not just give of myself freely for the sake of having that Valentine's Day kiss. I'm not desparate yet. In fact, I have a short list of candidates. But I also know that sometimes, it's better to have nothing than something at all.
And even if nothing pans out (and no one is willing to acquiesce to my desires), I know that at the very least, I'll have fun with my friends. The people who I don't need to give cards to or get flowers from to show/receive appreciation. ...that's what holding hair and beers are for...
Luck of luck, this widely revered (reviled) day actually falls on a Monday, so perhaps I will be too busy to notice the swarm of lovey dovey when it descends on our poor town. But for today, I'll nurse my bruised pride and cracked core with a creamice (crack-ice?), a showing of Shaft, and a BBQ with a handful of people I'll infinitely love more than I ever will a flavor of the week. And I don't have to be mushy to show it.
This weekend marks the celebration of everyone's (least) favorite Hallmark Holiday, Valentine's Day. Also known as that day of the year where inconsiderate and unappreciative behavior is supposed to be atoned with a box of chocolate and some flowers. Toss in a teddy bear if you've been especially thoughtless over the course of the past 365-someodd days. For those of us who are more hopeful about love and dating and all the drudgery it entails, it's a day to be as mushy as you please. A day where the dreaded PDA (that's Public Displays of Affection to the uninitiated) suddenly become socially acceptable and works wonders for making some sigh and swoon, while working equally well for making those with poor gag reflex suppression need mints (in this case, wouldn't it be a "vomint") on at least an hourly basis.
And while I find it counterproductive to sit here and complain about something that isn't even a real holiday, this year I can't help but feel a bit wistful. This is the first year in a while I will be spending this nonholiday alone. Granted, I'll be spending Monday night with not one but four or so "dates" (which sounds more exotic than the truthful term "buddies"), I am a bit disappointed that I won't even have someone to smooch at least once sometime during that day. And yet I am resolute to not just give of myself freely for the sake of having that Valentine's Day kiss. I'm not desparate yet. In fact, I have a short list of candidates. But I also know that sometimes, it's better to have nothing than something at all.
And even if nothing pans out (and no one is willing to acquiesce to my desires), I know that at the very least, I'll have fun with my friends. The people who I don't need to give cards to or get flowers from to show/receive appreciation. ...that's what holding hair and beers are for...
Luck of luck, this widely revered (reviled) day actually falls on a Monday, so perhaps I will be too busy to notice the swarm of lovey dovey when it descends on our poor town. But for today, I'll nurse my bruised pride and cracked core with a creamice (crack-ice?), a showing of Shaft, and a BBQ with a handful of people I'll infinitely love more than I ever will a flavor of the week. And I don't have to be mushy to show it.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Insomniac...or Why I Need a Hobby
When the sun goes down, my brain and body kick into overdrive and I'm left wandering around my apartment until the sun rises. I've always known I'm not a morning person, but I never would have guess that I would develop and aversion to night. Spokes in the circadian cycle notwithstanding, I think my big problem is that I'm not challenged. Not enough going on during the day to wear me out and at night, I just have idle time. I'm going to think of a few projects to start on and see if that helps this situation. And, if it doesn't, I suppose there are always sleep inducing drugs...or a mallet over the head.
When the sun goes down, my brain and body kick into overdrive and I'm left wandering around my apartment until the sun rises. I've always known I'm not a morning person, but I never would have guess that I would develop and aversion to night. Spokes in the circadian cycle notwithstanding, I think my big problem is that I'm not challenged. Not enough going on during the day to wear me out and at night, I just have idle time. I'm going to think of a few projects to start on and see if that helps this situation. And, if it doesn't, I suppose there are always sleep inducing drugs...or a mallet over the head.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Caller ID Unavailable
As a person that just has to know all she can, that the caller id on my cell phone is not working properly is driving me rather crazy. So, tonight when my phone rang and (of course) the caller id displayed 'unavailable,' and there was silence on the other end, I spent a good fifteen minutes wondering (hoping?) who it was. I wondered what they wanted. If it was a wrong number. I wondered a lot of things. It would have been nice to have an identified call. Then I would have known which number to call back... I wonder why the caller id on my phone isn't working so well these days. I think I shall be calling Verizon tomorrow to have them fix that, if not for the convenience aspect of it, but just so I can know.
As a person that just has to know all she can, that the caller id on my cell phone is not working properly is driving me rather crazy. So, tonight when my phone rang and (of course) the caller id displayed 'unavailable,' and there was silence on the other end, I spent a good fifteen minutes wondering (hoping?) who it was. I wondered what they wanted. If it was a wrong number. I wondered a lot of things. It would have been nice to have an identified call. Then I would have known which number to call back... I wonder why the caller id on my phone isn't working so well these days. I think I shall be calling Verizon tomorrow to have them fix that, if not for the convenience aspect of it, but just so I can know.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Under the Weather
By the time I walked out of work this afternoon, the sinus pressure built up inmy head was at critical mass and ready to blow. I eschewed office hours in favor of my couch, a movie, and a frappuchino (creeeeeemmmmeeeeecee!) in attempt to hasten my recovery. Viewings of Dawn of the Dead, The Office, a party pizza, many cups of water, visits from friends, and a good nap on the couch later, here I am, plotting the details of tomorrow and ready to try to 'sleep off' more of this ill feeling. At least I appear to have a routine case of irritable sinuses and not the flu that appears to have descended upon Murray.
By the time I walked out of work this afternoon, the sinus pressure built up inmy head was at critical mass and ready to blow. I eschewed office hours in favor of my couch, a movie, and a frappuchino (creeeeeemmmmeeeeecee!) in attempt to hasten my recovery. Viewings of Dawn of the Dead, The Office, a party pizza, many cups of water, visits from friends, and a good nap on the couch later, here I am, plotting the details of tomorrow and ready to try to 'sleep off' more of this ill feeling. At least I appear to have a routine case of irritable sinuses and not the flu that appears to have descended upon Murray.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Five Things I Hate Today
You've seen the positive lists-the ones of things I adore. For a change, let's dwell on the negative and take a glance at five things that are currently loathed.
1. The Weather
If it goes one day without raining before Sunday, I will dance an Ashlee Simpson jig and then run off the stage when the music stops playing. Keeping my pant legs dry is just an exercise in futility.
2. Insomnia
I have a lot on my mind these days and it's affecting my ability to sleep...hence the 3 am computing and 2 am attempts at networking my computers. Truth be told, I'm upset about my impending graduation and just don't really know what to do with myself right now. If I'm acting strangely, it's because I'm tired or just don't know what to say/how to act anymore. Have patience with me; I promise I'm worth it.
3. My Sinuses
*shakes fist at them, my arch enemy*
4. Idealism
Nothing is meant to be and often things just don't work out. Why focus on what seems like the way things should be when you can focus on the way things are and how when it's all said and done, you have very little ability to control much more than how you react to life. So much for wishful thinking, there's only harsh reality.
5. Having my Back to a Door at Work
I've set up a mirror so that I can see who is using the door behind me without having to stop what I'm doing and turn around. It's not that I'm doing anything that necessitates secretiveness, I just hate it when people sneak up on me and I don't like people to see what I'm working on because until I show them, they don't need to know. If I can see what enters and exits through that door, I'll have at least some control.
You've seen the positive lists-the ones of things I adore. For a change, let's dwell on the negative and take a glance at five things that are currently loathed.
1. The Weather
If it goes one day without raining before Sunday, I will dance an Ashlee Simpson jig and then run off the stage when the music stops playing. Keeping my pant legs dry is just an exercise in futility.
2. Insomnia
I have a lot on my mind these days and it's affecting my ability to sleep...hence the 3 am computing and 2 am attempts at networking my computers. Truth be told, I'm upset about my impending graduation and just don't really know what to do with myself right now. If I'm acting strangely, it's because I'm tired or just don't know what to say/how to act anymore. Have patience with me; I promise I'm worth it.
3. My Sinuses
*shakes fist at them, my arch enemy*
4. Idealism
Nothing is meant to be and often things just don't work out. Why focus on what seems like the way things should be when you can focus on the way things are and how when it's all said and done, you have very little ability to control much more than how you react to life. So much for wishful thinking, there's only harsh reality.
5. Having my Back to a Door at Work
I've set up a mirror so that I can see who is using the door behind me without having to stop what I'm doing and turn around. It's not that I'm doing anything that necessitates secretiveness, I just hate it when people sneak up on me and I don't like people to see what I'm working on because until I show them, they don't need to know. If I can see what enters and exits through that door, I'll have at least some control.
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