The Roof is on Fire?
I woke up with a start this morning when I could have sworn my smoke detectors were going off! Bolting upright in bed around 5:19 in the morning and no glasses, all my blurry visioned self could perceive was glowing light coming from the kitchen/living room area. I couldn't smell smoke, but I thought I saw fire!
Upright, throwing off the covers and putting on my glasses, I realized there was no smoke in the house and the sounding of the alarms had stopped. There was no fire, but rather a mixture of morning glow seeping through the living room blinds and the golden glow of the light above the sink that rarely gets turned off at night. No fire. No smoke. No sound.
I tiptoed (why?) into the hall, where I nervously glared at the smoke detector. My sleep clouded mind couldn't remember where all in the house I had others, but I had just enough logic in tact to know that building codes require them in bedrooms. So after walking across the living room, feeling the door handle before opening and peering into the stairway - no fire, I turned to the door leading onto the balcony...felt at handle, gingerly opened door - no fire, I returned to the hall where I once again glared at the smoke detector. Turned to my left, felt door knob then turned, peered - no fire.
After finding sufficient evidence that the house wasn't burning down, I swapped out the battery, turned on the tv to the morning news, and crawled back into bed. Warm bed where just a few minutes before, I had been dreaming of some cruise ship trip from hell, populated with people from work, and we were all doing some lame dance before I had been jarred awake by the alarm. While not entirely sure of the dream specifics, I mustn't have been enjoying myself as the thought of the alarms signifying the ship sinking came as a welcome notion. And I closed my eyes and listened to the morning anchors clumsily making morning banter. Tom Tucker and Trisha Takinawa....
And once again I awoke suddenly when I heard...the mornign birthday greeting music signifying it's 15 'til the new hour...of seven. Crap.
Apparently in my false alarm fire rush, I began to unplug all of my alarm clocks (I'm down to two clock radios and a cell phone these days). Either I was going to save them from certain doom or thought that unplugging them would stop the fire. Sleepy logic is fuzzy. And I was out the door less than 30 minutes after waking up - showered, shampooed, dressed, and painted for the day. My last day at this particular job.
So tomorrow I'll report to some place exciting and new...not really, but at least it'll be different. I need a fresh start and I'm glad I fell into one that has different tasks and more money. I once said that I hope that someday I can hate my new job as much as I hate the one I had. Well, I didn't entirely mean that. I didn't hate this job as much as I thought I did. I hated some of the aspects of it and thought that I hated some of the people that I work with. But I don't. I've seen it as one big learning experience that has fundamentally changed changed the person I am. I've learned to be unapologetically directive and relish the ability to get things done. But I've also realized how important it is to not let those attributes become detractors and that the ability to build alliances and knowing who to call just as if not more important that the knowledge and ability housed in my brain and body. And I am newly amazed at my own ability to work and live wounded and do it well. I'm forged of the hard stuff, with a creamy nougat center. And I'm pretty awesome...even if some mornings I wake up thinking my house is on fire.
Monday, July 31, 2006
A is for Alpaca!
Saturday, Matt and I made a journey into outer Chillicothe in search of alpacas...
This story actually begins a few months ago, when I saw Sherri, the Alpaca Lady, on the morning news talking about AlpacaFest and the many uses for these wonderful little animals. Instantly, alpacas were added to the list of creatures that I can look at and immediately smile. Sometimes at work, I'll just look at alpacas if I'm feeling grouchy or if others are having a lame day, I'll email them pictures of alpacas. Yes, this whole alpaca thing has become sort of an obsession.
So why am I so crazy about alpacas? Aside from their cuteness and charm, they're sweet natured and gentle. The alpca is also a useful creature and is soft and comforting to the touch. Finally, they're kind of goofy looking. It's another one of those instances where God shows a sense of humor by creating something so charming and funny looking.
This whole alpaca obsession came full circle on Saturday, having made a trip to an area alpaca farm in order to see these creatures up close and personal. This trip was also quite educational as we had over an hour to just ask questions and learn. Alpacas need relatively little space and only cost about $200/animal/year to feed and maintain. In this part of the country, they need regular worm treatments to avoid parasites that can bore through the alpaca stomach and into the spinal cord. Furthermore, just off the breeding and the fleece, you can get a nice return on investment.
I'm not saying this is something that I'll definitely do in the future, but I am toying with the idea of perhaps having a couple of alpacas running around one of these days. Maybe some land, a herding dog or two and alpacas. That would be nice.
Saturday, Matt and I made a journey into outer Chillicothe in search of alpacas...
This story actually begins a few months ago, when I saw Sherri, the Alpaca Lady, on the morning news talking about AlpacaFest and the many uses for these wonderful little animals. Instantly, alpacas were added to the list of creatures that I can look at and immediately smile. Sometimes at work, I'll just look at alpacas if I'm feeling grouchy or if others are having a lame day, I'll email them pictures of alpacas. Yes, this whole alpaca thing has become sort of an obsession.
So why am I so crazy about alpacas? Aside from their cuteness and charm, they're sweet natured and gentle. The alpca is also a useful creature and is soft and comforting to the touch. Finally, they're kind of goofy looking. It's another one of those instances where God shows a sense of humor by creating something so charming and funny looking.
This whole alpaca obsession came full circle on Saturday, having made a trip to an area alpaca farm in order to see these creatures up close and personal. This trip was also quite educational as we had over an hour to just ask questions and learn. Alpacas need relatively little space and only cost about $200/animal/year to feed and maintain. In this part of the country, they need regular worm treatments to avoid parasites that can bore through the alpaca stomach and into the spinal cord. Furthermore, just off the breeding and the fleece, you can get a nice return on investment.
I'm not saying this is something that I'll definitely do in the future, but I am toying with the idea of perhaps having a couple of alpacas running around one of these days. Maybe some land, a herding dog or two and alpacas. That would be nice.
Friday, July 28, 2006
The Battle of Peoria
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peoria_War
The Peoria War was an armed conflict between the U. S. Army and the Native American tribes of the Potawatomi and the Kickapoo that took place in the Peoria County, Illinois area, near the current location of the city of Peoria, from September 19 to October 21, 1813.
It must be noted that the Native American tribe of the Peoria was not involved in this conflict. Rather, its name comes from the location of the events, which had originally received its denomination from that of the tribe.
The Peoria War was closely related to the larger scale Tecumseh's War and the War of 1812, while essentially circumscribed to actions within the Peoria area. It also ended after the Battle of the Thames and the death of the Shawnee leader Tecumseh on October 5, 1813, which is generally considered as the ending date of the Native American involvement in the War of 1812.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peoria_War
The Peoria War was an armed conflict between the U. S. Army and the Native American tribes of the Potawatomi and the Kickapoo that took place in the Peoria County, Illinois area, near the current location of the city of Peoria, from September 19 to October 21, 1813.
It must be noted that the Native American tribe of the Peoria was not involved in this conflict. Rather, its name comes from the location of the events, which had originally received its denomination from that of the tribe.
The Peoria War was closely related to the larger scale Tecumseh's War and the War of 1812, while essentially circumscribed to actions within the Peoria area. It also ended after the Battle of the Thames and the death of the Shawnee leader Tecumseh on October 5, 1813, which is generally considered as the ending date of the Native American involvement in the War of 1812.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Theater Etiquette
Thursday afternoon, I decided to catch an afternoon 'The Break Up.' The most entertaining thing about this movie was the couple that decided to engage in...congress during the showing of this film.
I went to the 5:50 show after weighing in (down 2 more lbs) and grabbing some dinner (Quizno's Chicken Ceasar salad - yum). In my typical solo theater outing ritual, I purchased a ticket and then grabbed a medium theater-sized Diet Coke before making my way into the movie. For the first 10-15 minutes of the movie, I was the only person in the theater. I was singing along with the previews, slurping my soda, and had my feet on the back of the seat beacuse as the only person in there, I could. Having the place to myself made me feel like P. Diddy. If P. Diddy watched movies as bad as The Break Up.
Eventually, this gal entered and then proceeded to the back of the auditorium. I mentally noted that I must not be the only girl in town goes to the movies by herself to cheer up. A few minutes later, a guy walked up the stairs and went to sit with her, and once again, I was the losery single watching a lackluster film about breaking up. Did I mention this movie wasn't great?
Fifty five minutes into the movie, my attention is pulled away from the trainwreck on screen by the unmistakeable sound of heavy petting. I turn my head a bit and glance over the back of the seat and get a visual confirmation that the folks in the back are sucking face like woah. Nice. Back to watching the movie, until 10 minutes later and I'm hearing humping. I'll spare the details of the sounds leading me to believe that there was sexxing going on in the back of the theater, but trust me, I could tell. I glanced back again and both had disappeared into the aisle. So I began to laugh. A lot. And then I texted friends to tell them what was going on.
Granted, it is rude to use a cell phone during a movie, but I figured that if they could engage in sexual congress in the theater, I could use my phone.
I did consider what I would do upon encountering them as I left the theater, but I never got the chance to avert eye contact or boldly offer them napkins. The ending was horrific and my bladder was at maximum capacity, so I eschewed the resolution for a trip to the rest room. I pretty much made it. Did I mention The Break Up is not worth your time? At least I have an interesting story about people going at it 10 feet behind my head.
Thursday afternoon, I decided to catch an afternoon 'The Break Up.' The most entertaining thing about this movie was the couple that decided to engage in...congress during the showing of this film.
I went to the 5:50 show after weighing in (down 2 more lbs) and grabbing some dinner (Quizno's Chicken Ceasar salad - yum). In my typical solo theater outing ritual, I purchased a ticket and then grabbed a medium theater-sized Diet Coke before making my way into the movie. For the first 10-15 minutes of the movie, I was the only person in the theater. I was singing along with the previews, slurping my soda, and had my feet on the back of the seat beacuse as the only person in there, I could. Having the place to myself made me feel like P. Diddy. If P. Diddy watched movies as bad as The Break Up.
Eventually, this gal entered and then proceeded to the back of the auditorium. I mentally noted that I must not be the only girl in town goes to the movies by herself to cheer up. A few minutes later, a guy walked up the stairs and went to sit with her, and once again, I was the losery single watching a lackluster film about breaking up. Did I mention this movie wasn't great?
Fifty five minutes into the movie, my attention is pulled away from the trainwreck on screen by the unmistakeable sound of heavy petting. I turn my head a bit and glance over the back of the seat and get a visual confirmation that the folks in the back are sucking face like woah. Nice. Back to watching the movie, until 10 minutes later and I'm hearing humping. I'll spare the details of the sounds leading me to believe that there was sexxing going on in the back of the theater, but trust me, I could tell. I glanced back again and both had disappeared into the aisle. So I began to laugh. A lot. And then I texted friends to tell them what was going on.
Granted, it is rude to use a cell phone during a movie, but I figured that if they could engage in sexual congress in the theater, I could use my phone.
I did consider what I would do upon encountering them as I left the theater, but I never got the chance to avert eye contact or boldly offer them napkins. The ending was horrific and my bladder was at maximum capacity, so I eschewed the resolution for a trip to the rest room. I pretty much made it. Did I mention The Break Up is not worth your time? At least I have an interesting story about people going at it 10 feet behind my head.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Steak Through My Heart
It appears that I'll be going to a Steak Dinner Party where I'm to "bring my significant other." Ha! I suppose I get two steaks because of late, I can't help but shake the feeling that I may, perhaps, indeed be utterly undateable. And now I'll have to further suffer the indignity of having to tell people that I'll throw in a steak to sweeten the deal. I feel nauseous at the thought of having to offer red meat to someone to make an evening with me and my crazy coworkers seem bearable. Nauseasous at both the prospect of asking someone out and naseasous at the thought of having an evening with me and a free meal be not enough for even a maybe.
It appears that I'll be going to a Steak Dinner Party where I'm to "bring my significant other." Ha! I suppose I get two steaks because of late, I can't help but shake the feeling that I may, perhaps, indeed be utterly undateable. And now I'll have to further suffer the indignity of having to tell people that I'll throw in a steak to sweeten the deal. I feel nauseous at the thought of having to offer red meat to someone to make an evening with me and my crazy coworkers seem bearable. Nauseasous at both the prospect of asking someone out and naseasous at the thought of having an evening with me and a free meal be not enough for even a maybe.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
I Need Visitors, STAT
If there's anyone out there that's not from Peoria that wants to visit, next week would be the best time to do so. I'm homesick and need a care package with arms and legs. I didn't mean for that to come out as dirty as it did. Come see me and I'll take you to get stir fry and go watch Clerks II.
If there's anyone out there that's not from Peoria that wants to visit, next week would be the best time to do so. I'm homesick and need a care package with arms and legs. I didn't mean for that to come out as dirty as it did. Come see me and I'll take you to get stir fry and go watch Clerks II.
My Trip to the Oriental Grocery Store
This afternoon, I ventured downtown so that I could check out the oriental grocery store just yonder from Bradley. Of late, I've found the far east to be quite sexy, so I've been seeking out most things oriental. Today's trip only really served to whet my appetite as I was hoping I'd find so much more than I did.
Today's Oriental Purchases:
1. Spinach noodles
2. Duck soup sauce
3. Vegetarian duck
4. Navy blue, decorated chopsticks
5. Cucumber cleansing lotion
6. Canned mackeral
This afternoon, I ventured downtown so that I could check out the oriental grocery store just yonder from Bradley. Of late, I've found the far east to be quite sexy, so I've been seeking out most things oriental. Today's trip only really served to whet my appetite as I was hoping I'd find so much more than I did.
Today's Oriental Purchases:
1. Spinach noodles
2. Duck soup sauce
3. Vegetarian duck
4. Navy blue, decorated chopsticks
5. Cucumber cleansing lotion
6. Canned mackeral
Monday, July 10, 2006
Save You
To the best of my knowledge, I am now certified in CPR - the art and science of bringing people back from the dead.
If you choose to have a medical emergency, I assure you that it's all right to have it in my presence, for it's my policy to attempt to save the life of anyone who has ever read my blog.
We'll see how the next eleven weeks of First Responder certification go, but I'm sure I'll be freaked out and upset multiple times before all of this is over. Yet, at the same time, I'm pretty excited about being able to help, even if it's until real help gets there.
However, I still can't get over what we were told tonight. "I can never recall performing CPR and NOT breaking someone's ribs."
Yikes
To the best of my knowledge, I am now certified in CPR - the art and science of bringing people back from the dead.
If you choose to have a medical emergency, I assure you that it's all right to have it in my presence, for it's my policy to attempt to save the life of anyone who has ever read my blog.
We'll see how the next eleven weeks of First Responder certification go, but I'm sure I'll be freaked out and upset multiple times before all of this is over. Yet, at the same time, I'm pretty excited about being able to help, even if it's until real help gets there.
However, I still can't get over what we were told tonight. "I can never recall performing CPR and NOT breaking someone's ribs."
Yikes
I.Hate.Baboons.
This afternoon, I was camped out on the couch, od'ing on The National Geographic channel. One of the shows (Hunter/Hunted) was about baboons attacking people in South Africa and this case in the northern region, where an old, male baboon grabbed a lady's 3 month old and held it hostage. The lady and a neighbor were trying to scare it away, but the baboon bit the baby and threw it down before running off. It is a tactic of the baboon to take the babies of their advarsaries hostage during combat. Also, biting the baby on the head is the baboon's preferred method of killing young, as they have really sharp and prominant front fangs. On the southern cape of the country, the baboon population has grown brazen around humans and will run up and mug them for food. I watched footage of a baboon stealing a woman's purse, rummaging through it, and throwing it at her upon discovering it did not contain food.
So based on the fact that baboons 1) bite babies, 2) take hostages, 3) can run 35 miles per hour, 4) mug tourists, and 5) smell awful, the verdict is that baboons are awful, awful creatures.
This afternoon, I was camped out on the couch, od'ing on The National Geographic channel. One of the shows (Hunter/Hunted) was about baboons attacking people in South Africa and this case in the northern region, where an old, male baboon grabbed a lady's 3 month old and held it hostage. The lady and a neighbor were trying to scare it away, but the baboon bit the baby and threw it down before running off. It is a tactic of the baboon to take the babies of their advarsaries hostage during combat. Also, biting the baby on the head is the baboon's preferred method of killing young, as they have really sharp and prominant front fangs. On the southern cape of the country, the baboon population has grown brazen around humans and will run up and mug them for food. I watched footage of a baboon stealing a woman's purse, rummaging through it, and throwing it at her upon discovering it did not contain food.
So based on the fact that baboons 1) bite babies, 2) take hostages, 3) can run 35 miles per hour, 4) mug tourists, and 5) smell awful, the verdict is that baboons are awful, awful creatures.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Romance is Dead.
On the way to work this morning, I was rocking out to that "Promiscuous" song...the one by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland. Suddenly, I realized how much songs about pursuing a paramour have degraded over the past 30 years. We've gone from you look "Wonderful Tonight" and "Unforgettable" that's what you are to blah, blah, baby I wanna tap that and maybe call you tomorrow. Gone are the days of candy, flowers, and courting. These days it's all about wham, bam, up, leave, I'll call you when it's convenient for me. ...Did I just write the next great love song of the 2000s?
So comes the age old question - which came first? Was it the demise of romance or the songs illustrating it?
I'm going to blame the "pussification" of the American male. It all started there. It takes a lot of balls to be a real man. Real men will think freely and have original thoughts and go where their heart leads them, not follow the trends and feel like they have to score with a ton of chicks and treat them like objects to be men. Those aforementioned are boys...stupid, fearful ones at that. Problem is, the ladies have endured repeated trauma from said boys and have resorted to tactics like 'dating like men' as a coping method. My theory is that it doesn't work and it creates a destructive cycle that usually goes (on case-by-case basis) girl gets hurt, resolves to date like a man, becomes 'promiscuous girl' and meets 'promiscuous boy,' lather, rinse, repeat.
Where does it stop?
I'm sure I could further elaborate on this symptom of downfall of society, but rather than dwell on the bad, I'm going to roll over and get some beauty sleep in the event that I encounter true, handsome, gentleman tomorrow...a free thinker that utilizes that seldom remembered organ that below the neck but above the belt. A man of principle, respect, and intellect. Hopefully he won't be another wolf in disguise.
..."chivalry is dead, but you're still kind of cute" indeed.
On the way to work this morning, I was rocking out to that "Promiscuous" song...the one by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland. Suddenly, I realized how much songs about pursuing a paramour have degraded over the past 30 years. We've gone from you look "Wonderful Tonight" and "Unforgettable" that's what you are to blah, blah, baby I wanna tap that and maybe call you tomorrow. Gone are the days of candy, flowers, and courting. These days it's all about wham, bam, up, leave, I'll call you when it's convenient for me. ...Did I just write the next great love song of the 2000s?
So comes the age old question - which came first? Was it the demise of romance or the songs illustrating it?
I'm going to blame the "pussification" of the American male. It all started there. It takes a lot of balls to be a real man. Real men will think freely and have original thoughts and go where their heart leads them, not follow the trends and feel like they have to score with a ton of chicks and treat them like objects to be men. Those aforementioned are boys...stupid, fearful ones at that. Problem is, the ladies have endured repeated trauma from said boys and have resorted to tactics like 'dating like men' as a coping method. My theory is that it doesn't work and it creates a destructive cycle that usually goes (on case-by-case basis) girl gets hurt, resolves to date like a man, becomes 'promiscuous girl' and meets 'promiscuous boy,' lather, rinse, repeat.
Where does it stop?
I'm sure I could further elaborate on this symptom of downfall of society, but rather than dwell on the bad, I'm going to roll over and get some beauty sleep in the event that I encounter true, handsome, gentleman tomorrow...a free thinker that utilizes that seldom remembered organ that below the neck but above the belt. A man of principle, respect, and intellect. Hopefully he won't be another wolf in disguise.
..."chivalry is dead, but you're still kind of cute" indeed.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
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