This Changes Everything
I have an opportunity I'm thinking about taking. Regardless of what I decide to do, two things are certain: I may not leave but I'm not staying where I am, and a lot of things will change and I guess I'll just know where the chips land when the smoke clears. Oh, another certainty being that I'll be tossing out lots and lots of verbal cliches as I maneuver through decision making.
And while I will make this decision for me and only me, I can't help but wonder if this is when I stop sliding through hands like sand and begin to slide like water. See? More cliches.
In honor of cliches, enjoy some song lyrics I've been pondering lately:
"You know I can't let you slide through my hands"
"I want you to notice when I'm not around"
"It's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light"
"It won't take much for me to show my life's not over yet"
"The worst timing I ever knew. I have to go. You already know. It's a long way back home"
Monday, May 22, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Windy City, or the Past Few Days
Friday: Drove up to Chicago. Arrived at hotel on Ohio street, then walked to Water Tower Place for round one of shopping. Ate at the Burrito Beach across the street and instantly fell in love. BB > Q'doba. Took a shower and tried to stay up to watch the rest of Conan in Chicago. Fell asleep during the Obama interview and missed hearing Wilco.
Saturday: Woke up and straighted hair, gathered conference materials and ventured downstairs to meet the shuttle to McCormick Place. Befriended Heather, industrial hygienist with a chemical company in Maryland. We ended up splitting a cab across town when the poor instructions to the shuttle pickup point meandered us over to Michigan Avenue. Took the course on ventilation systems engineering and had one of those new asian salads from McDonalds for lunch. Took a seat next to an older fellow from North Carolina who was quite interested in American Idol. I think I made him mad when I commented on Kelly Pickler's miniscle vocabulary. He told me that Kelly is from a small town and thus hasn't been exposed to as much. I wanted to argue that it's because she's an idiot and not because she's sheltered. Case in point - I grew up in a town of under 4,000 and I toss around big words and can solve differential equations. Small town != idiot. Kelly Pickler = idiot. Took bus back to hotel, went to White Hen across street and bought an overpriced chicken sandwich that was promptly consumed after purchase. It fell between "decent" and "not bad" on the taste scale. Napped for 15 minutes then walked back to Water Tower place, where I obtained a pretzel, a new "city bag" (black messenger bag), and was made over at the Stila countered with lovely products that they didn't have on hand. Violet Convertible Eyecolor has been haunting my dreams since. Perhaps I'll need to find some of this before I leave Chicago.
Sunday: Woke up late and ended up having to take a cab to my session at McCormick. Unfortunately, it turns out my session was actually in the Hyatt adjacent and I ended up having to walk over a mile and a half back in the direction from where I had been in order to find my conference room. Showed up 10 minutes late, covered in sweat, breathless, and slightly irritated. Sat next to fellow that was in my class on Saturday and he greeted me with "You're following me." Later that day, he told me that I was "rude" when I told him about the ventilation course I took in college and that we referred to the teacher as "the hobbit" because of his big, white beard. Dude had it all wrong, I'm not rude and I wasn't following him. What would he know, he's from California!!! Speaking of people from California, when the day was over, I went to Navy Pier for a reception cruise of Lake Michigan and ended up spending the evening with a delightful crew from San Luis Obis. Joe is the safety guy, his brother Mark is adorable with glasses and floppy hair (just like I like 'em) and his wife Stephanie is my homegirl and I want to keep her. After the cruise, I took a cab to the Virgin Megastore down the street from my hotel and picked up a new journal for the road and a copy of Wilco's Kicking at Television...almost got Rebel without a Cause on a whim, but decided not to. Requested a copy of Revenge of the Nerds but they didn't have it. In my tipsiness, I must have looked quite dejected. Dejected enough for the guy to squeeze my shoulder and tell me that he was sure it'd be out en masse with special features in the future. I smiled like a simpleton when he said "speacial features." Stopped at Sayat Nova, the Armenian restuarant across the street on the walk back to the hotel. Visited with the cute fellow behind the bar for about 30 minutes while enjoying a beer and ordering/waiting for food. He signed my new road journal and gave me a card for one of his upcoming shows. Gotta love djs - that means he at least knows a bit about music. I'd say he's got pretty good taste based on the mediterranean mix he was playing in the restaurant. The music gave good atmosphere to the place yet had enough of a good beat to make me want to pay attention to what was playing. Well played.
Monday: Got to sleep in a bit, which is great as I didn't get makeup sleep this weekend. There should be a disclaimer on my profession about the morning hours. Among most of the things that make me want to hang up my safety glasses, it may be the early mornings that push me over the edge. I think I'll give this a bit more time and then go a PhD program. At least in a life of research, I'd get to ask more questions and then innovate a little bit. I'm so tired of just having to manage shit. I'm the kind of person that likes to ask why and then go find out. Talked to the U of I Chicago people Sunday on the cruise - I'd have to go full time in residency in Chicago, doing research in order to get a doctorate from them. I'm still considering this. And Cincinnati's program looks pretty sweet too. It may be cheaper to live in Cincinnati too...
Anyway, woke up and groomed and then went to wait for a shuttle down the street. After 10 minutes of waiting and realizing that with the other stops, I'd never get to my sessions in time, I hailed a cab and headed back to McCormick. Information in the Safety Management Program session was invaluable and the afternoon ergonomics sessions weren't too bad. Used my two hour lunch to eat an overpriced salad and then use the shuttle bus system to go to the Hilton Garden Inn across the street from Nordstrom. During "off peak" hours (10-2), the buses only run to two places, but I had to get away, so... Grabbed my complimentary beverage (Amstel Light) at the Exhibition Reception and then took the bus back to Ohio, where I then proceeded to hoof it over to the Esquire theater for a showing of The Notorious Betty Page. If I remember to, I'll speak about this film in greater detail later. It was a decent bio-pic and though provoking. But for now, I'll leave it with this line from the movie: "Adam and Eve were naked in the garden of Eden. It was only after they sinned that they put on clothes." Go see it if you're fortunate to live in an area that'd show such a film.
Stopped in Urban Outfitters, got a lock and key necklace and hailed a cab back to the hotel, where I ran across the street to round 3 of Burrito Beach (quesedilla today) and spent the evening in my room, underwear clad, watching Grey's Anatomy and balling my eyes out. "Stop looking at me!" And that's why Meredith Grey is my homegirl.
Tomorrow: Taking a bus tour of "The Untouchables" Chicago. All the Capone haunts, Dillinger, other infamous criminal types. I love it how I go do such fun things. Yacht trips on Lake Michigan (it had an open bar too, btw, and damn good white russians), Bus Tours of Gangster Era Chicago, Bettie Page...I bet you wish you were up with me and doing all of this too!
Friday: Drove up to Chicago. Arrived at hotel on Ohio street, then walked to Water Tower Place for round one of shopping. Ate at the Burrito Beach across the street and instantly fell in love. BB > Q'doba. Took a shower and tried to stay up to watch the rest of Conan in Chicago. Fell asleep during the Obama interview and missed hearing Wilco.
Saturday: Woke up and straighted hair, gathered conference materials and ventured downstairs to meet the shuttle to McCormick Place. Befriended Heather, industrial hygienist with a chemical company in Maryland. We ended up splitting a cab across town when the poor instructions to the shuttle pickup point meandered us over to Michigan Avenue. Took the course on ventilation systems engineering and had one of those new asian salads from McDonalds for lunch. Took a seat next to an older fellow from North Carolina who was quite interested in American Idol. I think I made him mad when I commented on Kelly Pickler's miniscle vocabulary. He told me that Kelly is from a small town and thus hasn't been exposed to as much. I wanted to argue that it's because she's an idiot and not because she's sheltered. Case in point - I grew up in a town of under 4,000 and I toss around big words and can solve differential equations. Small town != idiot. Kelly Pickler = idiot. Took bus back to hotel, went to White Hen across street and bought an overpriced chicken sandwich that was promptly consumed after purchase. It fell between "decent" and "not bad" on the taste scale. Napped for 15 minutes then walked back to Water Tower place, where I obtained a pretzel, a new "city bag" (black messenger bag), and was made over at the Stila countered with lovely products that they didn't have on hand. Violet Convertible Eyecolor has been haunting my dreams since. Perhaps I'll need to find some of this before I leave Chicago.
Sunday: Woke up late and ended up having to take a cab to my session at McCormick. Unfortunately, it turns out my session was actually in the Hyatt adjacent and I ended up having to walk over a mile and a half back in the direction from where I had been in order to find my conference room. Showed up 10 minutes late, covered in sweat, breathless, and slightly irritated. Sat next to fellow that was in my class on Saturday and he greeted me with "You're following me." Later that day, he told me that I was "rude" when I told him about the ventilation course I took in college and that we referred to the teacher as "the hobbit" because of his big, white beard. Dude had it all wrong, I'm not rude and I wasn't following him. What would he know, he's from California!!! Speaking of people from California, when the day was over, I went to Navy Pier for a reception cruise of Lake Michigan and ended up spending the evening with a delightful crew from San Luis Obis. Joe is the safety guy, his brother Mark is adorable with glasses and floppy hair (just like I like 'em) and his wife Stephanie is my homegirl and I want to keep her. After the cruise, I took a cab to the Virgin Megastore down the street from my hotel and picked up a new journal for the road and a copy of Wilco's Kicking at Television...almost got Rebel without a Cause on a whim, but decided not to. Requested a copy of Revenge of the Nerds but they didn't have it. In my tipsiness, I must have looked quite dejected. Dejected enough for the guy to squeeze my shoulder and tell me that he was sure it'd be out en masse with special features in the future. I smiled like a simpleton when he said "speacial features." Stopped at Sayat Nova, the Armenian restuarant across the street on the walk back to the hotel. Visited with the cute fellow behind the bar for about 30 minutes while enjoying a beer and ordering/waiting for food. He signed my new road journal and gave me a card for one of his upcoming shows. Gotta love djs - that means he at least knows a bit about music. I'd say he's got pretty good taste based on the mediterranean mix he was playing in the restaurant. The music gave good atmosphere to the place yet had enough of a good beat to make me want to pay attention to what was playing. Well played.
Monday: Got to sleep in a bit, which is great as I didn't get makeup sleep this weekend. There should be a disclaimer on my profession about the morning hours. Among most of the things that make me want to hang up my safety glasses, it may be the early mornings that push me over the edge. I think I'll give this a bit more time and then go a PhD program. At least in a life of research, I'd get to ask more questions and then innovate a little bit. I'm so tired of just having to manage shit. I'm the kind of person that likes to ask why and then go find out. Talked to the U of I Chicago people Sunday on the cruise - I'd have to go full time in residency in Chicago, doing research in order to get a doctorate from them. I'm still considering this. And Cincinnati's program looks pretty sweet too. It may be cheaper to live in Cincinnati too...
Anyway, woke up and groomed and then went to wait for a shuttle down the street. After 10 minutes of waiting and realizing that with the other stops, I'd never get to my sessions in time, I hailed a cab and headed back to McCormick. Information in the Safety Management Program session was invaluable and the afternoon ergonomics sessions weren't too bad. Used my two hour lunch to eat an overpriced salad and then use the shuttle bus system to go to the Hilton Garden Inn across the street from Nordstrom. During "off peak" hours (10-2), the buses only run to two places, but I had to get away, so... Grabbed my complimentary beverage (Amstel Light) at the Exhibition Reception and then took the bus back to Ohio, where I then proceeded to hoof it over to the Esquire theater for a showing of The Notorious Betty Page. If I remember to, I'll speak about this film in greater detail later. It was a decent bio-pic and though provoking. But for now, I'll leave it with this line from the movie: "Adam and Eve were naked in the garden of Eden. It was only after they sinned that they put on clothes." Go see it if you're fortunate to live in an area that'd show such a film.
Stopped in Urban Outfitters, got a lock and key necklace and hailed a cab back to the hotel, where I ran across the street to round 3 of Burrito Beach (quesedilla today) and spent the evening in my room, underwear clad, watching Grey's Anatomy and balling my eyes out. "Stop looking at me!" And that's why Meredith Grey is my homegirl.
Tomorrow: Taking a bus tour of "The Untouchables" Chicago. All the Capone haunts, Dillinger, other infamous criminal types. I love it how I go do such fun things. Yacht trips on Lake Michigan (it had an open bar too, btw, and damn good white russians), Bus Tours of Gangster Era Chicago, Bettie Page...I bet you wish you were up with me and doing all of this too!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Selling the Lifestyle
I went into a Hollister for the first time this weekend. The vibe of the store is pretty cool, though I'd love to place a Quest (shameless endorsement of product) Dosimeter in one to see what the TWA for noise level exposure is. The thumping music was pretty rad, but I'm pretty sure they're out of compliance for noise exposure.
In addition to high prices and small sizes, I did notice that like Hot Topic and other stores, Hollister carries a wide array of magazines, cds and other accessories to accent the lifestyle promoted by the store. When did stores start selling the lifestyles to go along with the clothing? Fashion is ceasing to be a statement, but rather now a way of life. Does what we wear make us who we are?
And furthermore, if I decide to embrace the Hollister lifestyle and take up surfing, just where will I go to do it? ...in Illinois.
I went into a Hollister for the first time this weekend. The vibe of the store is pretty cool, though I'd love to place a Quest (shameless endorsement of product) Dosimeter in one to see what the TWA for noise level exposure is. The thumping music was pretty rad, but I'm pretty sure they're out of compliance for noise exposure.
In addition to high prices and small sizes, I did notice that like Hot Topic and other stores, Hollister carries a wide array of magazines, cds and other accessories to accent the lifestyle promoted by the store. When did stores start selling the lifestyles to go along with the clothing? Fashion is ceasing to be a statement, but rather now a way of life. Does what we wear make us who we are?
And furthermore, if I decide to embrace the Hollister lifestyle and take up surfing, just where will I go to do it? ...in Illinois.
AWOL
I haven't stepped foot in my apartment since Friday morning when I left for work.
While walking out of work on Friday, I decided to call my parents because well, let's face it - talking to parents make everything better. We decided to meet in Lincoln for dinner, the second night in a row - what a treat. A huge plate of green beans and biscuits at CrackerBarrell and a spin around town later and I decided to eschew typical Cinco de Mayo festivities for an impromptu trip to Springfield. So I made a weekend of it and didn't even pack a bag.
Yesterday morning I was wandering around Dick's Sporting Goods getting some balls and other assorted items so I could play some impromtu golf on my impromtu trip. Of course I had my clubs with me - they're a permanent fixture in my car just in case I get the urge to play. But yeah, I had no clothes, so I went digging through the closet and ended up wearing a bubble gum pink shirt and a pair of mom-jeans. I adore mom jeans because they're so comfortable and for that way they give even the FUPA-less a FUPA. And did I mention the white sunglasses I was sporting. If Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's street urchin sunglasses mated with Kanye West's bling sunglasses, this pair would be the unholy offspring.
Spent the weekend just hanging out - visiting with parents, watching tv and reading magazines, playing golf. I applied sunscreen everywhere except my left earlobe, which is now bright red. I look perpetually embarassed. Hit 3 over par on the 4th hole today though. And had as much fun driving the golf cart around as I did actually playing.
Returned to Peoria around 9 this evening, just in time for Grey's Anatomy. Meredith's "you broke it" speech to McDreamy had resonance. It was eloquent and truthful and a lot better than anything I muster. I feel very Meredith Grey some days. But (as I tell myself every Sunday night) it's all going to change...someday.
Out of work for 1.5 days this week - surgery on Tuesday. I'm excited though. I will absolutely, 100% be free of any form (pre-post-etc) of cancer. Don't get me wrong - I'm not happy about being poked and prodded on, but I'm jazzed about a healthy body.
I haven't stepped foot in my apartment since Friday morning when I left for work.
While walking out of work on Friday, I decided to call my parents because well, let's face it - talking to parents make everything better. We decided to meet in Lincoln for dinner, the second night in a row - what a treat. A huge plate of green beans and biscuits at CrackerBarrell and a spin around town later and I decided to eschew typical Cinco de Mayo festivities for an impromptu trip to Springfield. So I made a weekend of it and didn't even pack a bag.
Yesterday morning I was wandering around Dick's Sporting Goods getting some balls and other assorted items so I could play some impromtu golf on my impromtu trip. Of course I had my clubs with me - they're a permanent fixture in my car just in case I get the urge to play. But yeah, I had no clothes, so I went digging through the closet and ended up wearing a bubble gum pink shirt and a pair of mom-jeans. I adore mom jeans because they're so comfortable and for that way they give even the FUPA-less a FUPA. And did I mention the white sunglasses I was sporting. If Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's street urchin sunglasses mated with Kanye West's bling sunglasses, this pair would be the unholy offspring.
Spent the weekend just hanging out - visiting with parents, watching tv and reading magazines, playing golf. I applied sunscreen everywhere except my left earlobe, which is now bright red. I look perpetually embarassed. Hit 3 over par on the 4th hole today though. And had as much fun driving the golf cart around as I did actually playing.
Returned to Peoria around 9 this evening, just in time for Grey's Anatomy. Meredith's "you broke it" speech to McDreamy had resonance. It was eloquent and truthful and a lot better than anything I muster. I feel very Meredith Grey some days. But (as I tell myself every Sunday night) it's all going to change...someday.
Out of work for 1.5 days this week - surgery on Tuesday. I'm excited though. I will absolutely, 100% be free of any form (pre-post-etc) of cancer. Don't get me wrong - I'm not happy about being poked and prodded on, but I'm jazzed about a healthy body.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Observations
1. Pulsing toothbrushes will scramble your brains while cleaning your teeth. They're almost not worth it.
2. People with a different ring tone for every person should be shot. Esp when one of those ringtones is "Gold Digger."
3. BYOB Restaurants are where it's at
4. I need a stronger alarm clock
5. Sharpening eye pencils is deceptively difficult
The 31 Days of Awesome Counter
Day 1: New golf clubs; sushi; new episode of "How I Met Your Mother"
Day 2: Day one of Transportation of Hazardous Goods training; trying out new clubs
Day 3: Gyro at the lunch cart on Adams Street; new golf shoes
Day 4: Dinner with Parents; snitzel strips, salad, 2x baked potato, tea. OMMMMMGGGG!
1. Pulsing toothbrushes will scramble your brains while cleaning your teeth. They're almost not worth it.
2. People with a different ring tone for every person should be shot. Esp when one of those ringtones is "Gold Digger."
3. BYOB Restaurants are where it's at
4. I need a stronger alarm clock
5. Sharpening eye pencils is deceptively difficult
The 31 Days of Awesome Counter
Day 1: New golf clubs; sushi; new episode of "How I Met Your Mother"
Day 2: Day one of Transportation of Hazardous Goods training; trying out new clubs
Day 3: Gyro at the lunch cart on Adams Street; new golf shoes
Day 4: Dinner with Parents; snitzel strips, salad, 2x baked potato, tea. OMMMMMGGGG!
Monday, May 01, 2006
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