Random Facts versus In Depth Knowledge
How much do you really have to know about a person to really know them? Sure, there's knowing the facts, the stats, but isn't that like just being able to memorize a formula? I always say that you can memorize the periodic table but that doesn't mean you know chemistry. (Yes, I'm a chemist, can't you tell?) But what's the sum of knowing the random facts? Riddle me this Batman, after how many random facts can you say you're at least getting a good idea? Do the stats, specs, and bits of trivia eventually add up to making you be able to say that you know someone?
Here are 5 facts about me:
1. I wear a size 10 shoe
2. I'm not really left handed (the watch and eating habits fake out a lot of people)
3. I'm a Coke person, not a Pepsi person
4. I was hit by a car at age 11
5. My favorite movie is The 'Burbs
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
How Not to Woo via Online Dating
I tried the online dating thing again (first time was so that I could go speed dating with Andra) and this foray lasted 6 days. The exchange that prompted my retirement went something like this:
Dude: Want to meet for breakfast? (talking to a fellow 3rd shifter)
Me: Sure, sounds good. Thursday work?
Dude: That'd be good. Could you pick me up from work? I got a DUI and lost my license.
Me: ....
And that hat was hung up and that's it for me. Oh, and the endless barrage of messages from baby daddys and 60-year olds.
Online dating? I'm breaking up with you
I tried the online dating thing again (first time was so that I could go speed dating with Andra) and this foray lasted 6 days. The exchange that prompted my retirement went something like this:
Dude: Want to meet for breakfast? (talking to a fellow 3rd shifter)
Me: Sure, sounds good. Thursday work?
Dude: That'd be good. Could you pick me up from work? I got a DUI and lost my license.
Me: ....
And that hat was hung up and that's it for me. Oh, and the endless barrage of messages from baby daddys and 60-year olds.
Online dating? I'm breaking up with you
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
1 Bride to Be + 1 Totalled Car = 1 Bachelorette Party Weekend, a Flood of Fun
I went to St. Louis for the weekend to join some gals in sending our friend Kat off into matrimony in style. My contribution to the evening: 6 Litres of wine, some cups and a bottle opener. We set up home in the Hampton Inn down by the Landing and I immediately began stocking the fridge and party-proofing the room (and laying claim to the recliner, sneaky gal I am).
The evening's festivities began with the decoration of the bride to be (veil, check. penis shot glass, check. tshirt of things to do and not to do - do the groom, not the gardener. bake for him, don't cook hamburger helper. check) and the drinking of more wine. Then came our next featured guest - Summer the sex toy sales lady! My purchases - 3 jars of concoctions named "nympho niagra," "x-scream," and "bossom buddies." You can guess what these are supposed to do. You can also guess how much these will get used. You can stop laughing now. Right before intermission time, one of the gals called up one of her friends to share my wisdom that "heat treating makes it hard." See, stuff like this is what happens when you fill a hotel room with female engineers, get them drunk and give them sex toys to play with. You have giggly girls wanting to know the torque of a vibrator and demonstrating the right-hand-rule on a dildo. Seriously - it's good times.
From there we went to The Big Bang for some piano bar awesomeness. Kat got to molest the cute piano players and wear a hard hat. We did shots with lady soldiers and I got to stick my ass into some guy's crotch and relish the drunken joy of being in a place where you can just walk up and grab some random guy's buns, not having to worry about what happens after that and just being able to enjoy the squishy feel of a handful of hot ass. White russians were consumed. After that - Morgan Street Brewery...I don't recall drinking that much but I remember how nice it felt to be outside in the early fall and to be conversing with new people and talking to boys. Went back to the hotel, crashed. Woke up briefly to a pint of guiness being offered to me, but I must be getting old because I just sniffed it and put it on the nightstand, rolled over and went back to sleep.
Sunday morning is when the real excitement started. Kat's phone was ringing and ringing and ringing. When it was finally answered, it was a frantic Christina telling Kat that the storm drain/sewer pipe at her complex had burst and flooded the condos at the bottom of the hill and the visitor's parking lot...where Kat had parked her car. We knew it was bad, but figured it to be a total loss when a short while later, Christina called back to tell us that people were being evacuated and that the windows on Kat's Honda were going up and down and the alarm was going off and lights flashing - the Honda's death rattles.
Kat and I were able to get to the car after the water receded - around 2 pm and it was ugly. A thin film of nasty, sticky mud (shit-mud) coated the ground. It was slick and sticky and horrible but thankfully it did not smell. There was a line of grass clipping, dirt, mud, etc around the honda - just above the door handles. When we opened the car, the leather seats were coated in a thin layer of shit and mud and the cupholders and floorboards were filled with brown water, which thankfully, did not smell. Everything in the car was ruined, save some cds we could salvage. We pulled out anything that could be used to steal her identity, left everything else in the car and pulled off the license plates. And then we set off for the longest and yet non-awkward trip back to Peoria. My heart seriously goes out to Kat for the loss of her car. It's going to be a big next 30 days for her - new husband, new life, new car.
Kat's good people. I hope State Farm is good to her and that she gets a good check for the untimely loss of her car. Despite having to total out a car, it was still a pretty good weekend - she said so, so it must be so. I don't think I'll ever be at another bachelorette party that was so rock and roll. Then again, I have another one coming up in October. Here's hoping that one is dry.
I went to St. Louis for the weekend to join some gals in sending our friend Kat off into matrimony in style. My contribution to the evening: 6 Litres of wine, some cups and a bottle opener. We set up home in the Hampton Inn down by the Landing and I immediately began stocking the fridge and party-proofing the room (and laying claim to the recliner, sneaky gal I am).
The evening's festivities began with the decoration of the bride to be (veil, check. penis shot glass, check. tshirt of things to do and not to do - do the groom, not the gardener. bake for him, don't cook hamburger helper. check) and the drinking of more wine. Then came our next featured guest - Summer the sex toy sales lady! My purchases - 3 jars of concoctions named "nympho niagra," "x-scream," and "bossom buddies." You can guess what these are supposed to do. You can also guess how much these will get used. You can stop laughing now. Right before intermission time, one of the gals called up one of her friends to share my wisdom that "heat treating makes it hard." See, stuff like this is what happens when you fill a hotel room with female engineers, get them drunk and give them sex toys to play with. You have giggly girls wanting to know the torque of a vibrator and demonstrating the right-hand-rule on a dildo. Seriously - it's good times.
From there we went to The Big Bang for some piano bar awesomeness. Kat got to molest the cute piano players and wear a hard hat. We did shots with lady soldiers and I got to stick my ass into some guy's crotch and relish the drunken joy of being in a place where you can just walk up and grab some random guy's buns, not having to worry about what happens after that and just being able to enjoy the squishy feel of a handful of hot ass. White russians were consumed. After that - Morgan Street Brewery...I don't recall drinking that much but I remember how nice it felt to be outside in the early fall and to be conversing with new people and talking to boys. Went back to the hotel, crashed. Woke up briefly to a pint of guiness being offered to me, but I must be getting old because I just sniffed it and put it on the nightstand, rolled over and went back to sleep.
Sunday morning is when the real excitement started. Kat's phone was ringing and ringing and ringing. When it was finally answered, it was a frantic Christina telling Kat that the storm drain/sewer pipe at her complex had burst and flooded the condos at the bottom of the hill and the visitor's parking lot...where Kat had parked her car. We knew it was bad, but figured it to be a total loss when a short while later, Christina called back to tell us that people were being evacuated and that the windows on Kat's Honda were going up and down and the alarm was going off and lights flashing - the Honda's death rattles.
Kat and I were able to get to the car after the water receded - around 2 pm and it was ugly. A thin film of nasty, sticky mud (shit-mud) coated the ground. It was slick and sticky and horrible but thankfully it did not smell. There was a line of grass clipping, dirt, mud, etc around the honda - just above the door handles. When we opened the car, the leather seats were coated in a thin layer of shit and mud and the cupholders and floorboards were filled with brown water, which thankfully, did not smell. Everything in the car was ruined, save some cds we could salvage. We pulled out anything that could be used to steal her identity, left everything else in the car and pulled off the license plates. And then we set off for the longest and yet non-awkward trip back to Peoria. My heart seriously goes out to Kat for the loss of her car. It's going to be a big next 30 days for her - new husband, new life, new car.
Kat's good people. I hope State Farm is good to her and that she gets a good check for the untimely loss of her car. Despite having to total out a car, it was still a pretty good weekend - she said so, so it must be so. I don't think I'll ever be at another bachelorette party that was so rock and roll. Then again, I have another one coming up in October. Here's hoping that one is dry.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Steward Got Ran Over by a Cushman
I ran over the union steward's foot with a cushman scooter this morning. In fairness to me, it was his fault because as I drove off, he put his foot under the wheel. Another supervisor was on the back of my scooter when it happened. I drove forward, felt the cart go over something and heard Mike, the other supervisor, yelling. Steward was all "Haha! I made you run me over! But I'm wearing steel toed shoes!" and I was all "wtf?!?" This was the same guy that I told to never say 'fuck' in front of me again a few weeks ago. With the exception of putting his foot under my wheel, he's been doing pretty well since then.
I ran over the union steward's foot with a cushman scooter this morning. In fairness to me, it was his fault because as I drove off, he put his foot under the wheel. Another supervisor was on the back of my scooter when it happened. I drove forward, felt the cart go over something and heard Mike, the other supervisor, yelling. Steward was all "Haha! I made you run me over! But I'm wearing steel toed shoes!" and I was all "wtf?!?" This was the same guy that I told to never say 'fuck' in front of me again a few weeks ago. With the exception of putting his foot under my wheel, he's been doing pretty well since then.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Hour by Hour Boards
We keep hour by hour boards on our production... I'm going to occupy myself tonight with keeping hour by hour stats on what I do while working Friday night/Saturday morning:
10:00 pm: Arrive at work one hour early...with minifridge and microwave to help make the office more comfortable. As I said when putting it into place in the corner, "My goals is to make everyone's life better while here."
10:30 pm: Read email, see that I have been invited to a meeting with labor relations first thing (my last thing) Monday morning. Go to "The Dave's" office, hang out with 2nd shift.
11:00 pm: Pop in a cd of tunes to keep me occupied tonight. I call this mix "It's 3am and everyone knows where you are." Includes Foreigner, REM, Clapton, Pink Floyd, Kid Rock, Heart, and Lenny Kravitz. I think it's good times - especially the Foreigner part.
11:04 pm: Walk into the door while leaving the office. Crumple my left hand into my stomach - fortunately my doughy physique shields myself from any major damage.
11:05 pm: Drive around, verify who is present and who is not.
11:10-11:45 pm: Make small talk with various people. Check to make sure the front office didn't flood. Raided the supply cabinet. Bad news is that it still smells like someone hurled in there and then closed the door. Good news is that it's been restocked with medium point pens. Grab some medium point pens and binder clips, check my office mail.
12:00 - 12:35 am: Reformat the weekend overtime posting list and print a copy for the other supervisors working this weekend. Create a cheat sheet of overtime posting codes...the codes for accessing the overtime sheets, not the codes for how to code the overtime. Chew a piece of pomegranite gum (which is good, but dissolves into goo after 10 minutes) and refill my diet coke.
12:35 - 1:00 am: Check facebook, clean up my overtime files and review some standard work documents.
1:15 am: Try to retrieve my desk nameplate from under my desk drawer, papercut my right wrist open. Recall cruel irony of having once said "I wish she'd papercut her wrists on her terrible poetry and quit effing everyone elses' boyfriends." (A few of you know which oh-so-emo , oh-so-tortured town bicycle I was referring to here...I guess Milwaukee really is where old whores go to retire.)
1:35 am: Decide to start blogging from work...
2:00 - 2:25 am: Decide to inventory rough stock. Notice an inside out, discarded rubber glove at the bottom of the steps. Stop and reflect on how nasty the handrails look, make mental note to clean them later. Make 3 complete laps around the shop, power-walking style.
2:30 am: Complete a safety score card and enjoy a packet of peanut M&Ms.
2:50 am - 3:40 am: Walk around the shop some more; attempt to get a cup of coffee but realize the vending machine is not working. Recall one of the operators telling me that particular coffee vending machine does not work. Walk 2 more laps around the shop and then return to my office. Pop in the Elizabethtown soundtrack. Write some goals for my quarterly review. Complete an online lesson about kanban. Notice I scratched up my left arm pretty good while digging for my nameplate earlier.
3:45 - 5:00 am: Complete more online learning courses. Print out inventory sheets. Gather safety observation cards
5:00 - 6:30 am: Climb up racks to check part numbers and quantities for rough stock inventory. Return to office and check upcoming work orders to see what can be shipped back to the rough yard areas. Type up an evening summary for shift hand off.
Now: Update this blog post. Drink another diet coke. Get ready to go home.
We keep hour by hour boards on our production... I'm going to occupy myself tonight with keeping hour by hour stats on what I do while working Friday night/Saturday morning:
10:00 pm: Arrive at work one hour early...with minifridge and microwave to help make the office more comfortable. As I said when putting it into place in the corner, "My goals is to make everyone's life better while here."
10:30 pm: Read email, see that I have been invited to a meeting with labor relations first thing (my last thing) Monday morning. Go to "The Dave's" office, hang out with 2nd shift.
11:00 pm: Pop in a cd of tunes to keep me occupied tonight. I call this mix "It's 3am and everyone knows where you are." Includes Foreigner, REM, Clapton, Pink Floyd, Kid Rock, Heart, and Lenny Kravitz. I think it's good times - especially the Foreigner part.
11:04 pm: Walk into the door while leaving the office. Crumple my left hand into my stomach - fortunately my doughy physique shields myself from any major damage.
11:05 pm: Drive around, verify who is present and who is not.
11:10-11:45 pm: Make small talk with various people. Check to make sure the front office didn't flood. Raided the supply cabinet. Bad news is that it still smells like someone hurled in there and then closed the door. Good news is that it's been restocked with medium point pens. Grab some medium point pens and binder clips, check my office mail.
12:00 - 12:35 am: Reformat the weekend overtime posting list and print a copy for the other supervisors working this weekend. Create a cheat sheet of overtime posting codes...the codes for accessing the overtime sheets, not the codes for how to code the overtime. Chew a piece of pomegranite gum (which is good, but dissolves into goo after 10 minutes) and refill my diet coke.
12:35 - 1:00 am: Check facebook, clean up my overtime files and review some standard work documents.
1:15 am: Try to retrieve my desk nameplate from under my desk drawer, papercut my right wrist open. Recall cruel irony of having once said "I wish she'd papercut her wrists on her terrible poetry and quit effing everyone elses' boyfriends." (A few of you know which oh-so-emo , oh-so-tortured town bicycle I was referring to here...I guess Milwaukee really is where old whores go to retire.)
1:35 am: Decide to start blogging from work...
2:00 - 2:25 am: Decide to inventory rough stock. Notice an inside out, discarded rubber glove at the bottom of the steps. Stop and reflect on how nasty the handrails look, make mental note to clean them later. Make 3 complete laps around the shop, power-walking style.
2:30 am: Complete a safety score card and enjoy a packet of peanut M&Ms.
2:50 am - 3:40 am: Walk around the shop some more; attempt to get a cup of coffee but realize the vending machine is not working. Recall one of the operators telling me that particular coffee vending machine does not work. Walk 2 more laps around the shop and then return to my office. Pop in the Elizabethtown soundtrack. Write some goals for my quarterly review. Complete an online lesson about kanban. Notice I scratched up my left arm pretty good while digging for my nameplate earlier.
3:45 - 5:00 am: Complete more online learning courses. Print out inventory sheets. Gather safety observation cards
5:00 - 6:30 am: Climb up racks to check part numbers and quantities for rough stock inventory. Return to office and check upcoming work orders to see what can be shipped back to the rough yard areas. Type up an evening summary for shift hand off.
Now: Update this blog post. Drink another diet coke. Get ready to go home.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
You Never Boil Me Pasta Anymore
Today is the first time in almost 4 years that I can remember making spaghetti. I find it hard to believe that I could go so long without boiling spaghetti noodles, but aside from this morning, the only time I can distinctly recall doing so was back in the day.
In other news, I wore my hair down last night because it's finally cooling off. One of my operators asked me if I had a date before work and the 3 of the shop ladies give my hair do the thumbs up. My fellow supervisors noticed that I wasn't rocking my usual ponytail and glasses combo too.
I guess the John Hughes movies were right - you can make a huge impression by ditching the ponytail and glasses.
BTW - I ditched the glasses because they literally fell apart last night. I jokingly said that I had seen something so awful that it broke my glasses. Truth be told, they came apart as I was pulling them off my face.
And as the epilogue to the guy that stole ice cream from the cafeteria last week...he brought his paystub to me last night saying he had been shorted 8 hours of pay. I took it to the time keeper and it turned out he was paid time and a half for 12 hours instead of straight time for 8 and time and a half for 4 one evening. When the time keeper corrects this, it will deduct money from his paycheck. Cruel irony or karmic retribution for the ice cream? My boss said I should tell him that the ice cream was deducted from his pay...I think I'll pass on that.
Today is the first time in almost 4 years that I can remember making spaghetti. I find it hard to believe that I could go so long without boiling spaghetti noodles, but aside from this morning, the only time I can distinctly recall doing so was back in the day.
In other news, I wore my hair down last night because it's finally cooling off. One of my operators asked me if I had a date before work and the 3 of the shop ladies give my hair do the thumbs up. My fellow supervisors noticed that I wasn't rocking my usual ponytail and glasses combo too.
I guess the John Hughes movies were right - you can make a huge impression by ditching the ponytail and glasses.
BTW - I ditched the glasses because they literally fell apart last night. I jokingly said that I had seen something so awful that it broke my glasses. Truth be told, they came apart as I was pulling them off my face.
And as the epilogue to the guy that stole ice cream from the cafeteria last week...he brought his paystub to me last night saying he had been shorted 8 hours of pay. I took it to the time keeper and it turned out he was paid time and a half for 12 hours instead of straight time for 8 and time and a half for 4 one evening. When the time keeper corrects this, it will deduct money from his paycheck. Cruel irony or karmic retribution for the ice cream? My boss said I should tell him that the ice cream was deducted from his pay...I think I'll pass on that.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Simple, Afterall
Tonight, I stayed up late tonight and drank a lot of coffee. I enjoyed the silence of Wal-Mart after 12:30 am and considered buying a beta-fish, which I would have named "Monster." I drove around the country, looking at the stars out the moon roof and listening to southern rock. I watched Elizabethtown and got all teary-eyed/homesick the same way I did the first, and only other time I saw it a couple of years ago. And then I sat in the recliner and thought about all I really want right now is a place in the country and an old hounddog and maybe a glass of makers on the rocks. And then I opened up my computer and posted this. And now, I'm going to sleep.
Tonight, I stayed up late tonight and drank a lot of coffee. I enjoyed the silence of Wal-Mart after 12:30 am and considered buying a beta-fish, which I would have named "Monster." I drove around the country, looking at the stars out the moon roof and listening to southern rock. I watched Elizabethtown and got all teary-eyed/homesick the same way I did the first, and only other time I saw it a couple of years ago. And then I sat in the recliner and thought about all I really want right now is a place in the country and an old hounddog and maybe a glass of makers on the rocks. And then I opened up my computer and posted this. And now, I'm going to sleep.
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