The Phenomenon of the NSYAE

Every moment in college in wrapped in a certain urgency moment in high school or "adult" life rarely has. When you're in college, it's like you have this terminal disease, and at the end of four years, you pass into adult living, which typically requires a sudden move to a new city in a new time zone far, far away from the ones you know and love. See that person sitting next to you in English? How about your friend sitting across the table from you? When you're in college, there's a good chance that unless something happens, some certain chain of events is set in place, that it's likely you could never see that person again once the semester ends. And that, my friend, can be quite a jarring realization.

This can wreak havoc on how you'd normally react to people, you see. I will admit to having given out my phone number to people, even when I really didn't want to, because I realized that once they leave campus, that we may never again see each other. I've also found myself asking the bagel lady to 'tell me a bit about herself' because I just HAD to know from where the bagel lady hails. That realization makes you react to people as if they are dying. "Oh, that poor boy may never come back here again, I think I'll give him my number." Is that rational thinking? NO! But, it happens and it's all a result of what I've taken to calling the "Never See You Again Effect."

The "Never See You Again Effect," or NSYAE as those in the know call it, is characterized by a sudden feeling of urgent desperation and sadness. It is guilt, confusion, and a little bit of temporary insanity rolled into one panicked mess. All of your feelings for a person, no matter how benign, are suddenly intensified and you find yourself not knowing what to do. You also realize that this is your last chance to find out answers to any questions that you may have ever had, no matter how ridiculous they may seem. Loss of rational thought and impulsiveness are classic symptoms of NSYAE. And, unfortunately, once stricken with NYSAE, there is nothing that can be done. If you know someone that has this, your best bet is to either try to stop them, or if you're not around when NSYAE strikes, to listen and reassure your friend once the episode has passed. Lying is a good solution too. "Sure you did the right thing by agreeing to go on a date with that person." "Don't worry, I'll miss the smelly person that lives down the hall too." "Sure the bagel lady will still give you bagels when you come back for Homecoming. I don't think you freaked her out too badly." "Hey, every cries when they fill in the last circle on their last scantron test. I'm sure your basket-weaving class was a killer."

Of course, since momentary emotionally-induced impulsive stupidity...I mean NSYAE carries just slightly less stigma peeing your pants when you sneeze, you are likely to find yourself hiding your condition and having to deal with it on your own. For this, you must learn to better understand your inner id. Why do you suddenly decide to act or feel a certain way? Examine these feelings. Embrace them. Weigh the consequences and then decide whether to act on it or suppress it. So act and think carefully.

But do it all knowing that this may be your last chance...ever.

So the next time someone asks you an utterly bizarre question, uncharacteristically hits on you, randomly grabs you and hugs you, or just won't stop staring, give them the benefit of the doubt and deduce that they may be suffering from NSYAE. Afterall, with this being college, who knows where we will all be in a few months?