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Thursday, July 28, 2005
I've Created Hell
General asshats
Circle I Limbo
Goths
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
Greens
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
collar poppers
Circle IV Rolling Weights
NAMBLA Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
River Styx
Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
River Phlegyas
Creationists
Circle VII Burning Sands
Scientologists
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Republicans
Circle IX Frozen in Ice
Longest Workday Yet
Worked from 5am to 7pm. I'm not too tired right now, though I know I should go to bed. I'll get tired to a point and then I'll sort of hit a stride. Really need to start packing for the trip. Maybe...black tshirt, floral skirt, blue jeans, a couple of tshirts, and some pajamas. Shorts and tshirt maybe.
I'm being sent to Prohibitive Harassment training tomorrow because a) I've been harassing people and thus *have* to go, or b) it's required of all managerial employees.
My nose has been itching terribly all week. Sometimes I'll rub at it until I think it's going to bleed. Not congested nor is it even runny. It just itches.
Worked from 5am to 7pm. I'm not too tired right now, though I know I should go to bed. I'll get tired to a point and then I'll sort of hit a stride. Really need to start packing for the trip. Maybe...black tshirt, floral skirt, blue jeans, a couple of tshirts, and some pajamas. Shorts and tshirt maybe.
I'm being sent to Prohibitive Harassment training tomorrow because a) I've been harassing people and thus *have* to go, or b) it's required of all managerial employees.
My nose has been itching terribly all week. Sometimes I'll rub at it until I think it's going to bleed. Not congested nor is it even runny. It just itches.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Today...
Today it rained.
Today...
...I made a new friend.
...fish was for dinner.
...canary 'white out' was discovered. Is it still 'white out' if it's yellow?
...someone gave me a ride in a golf cart because it was raining and I was standing on the sidewalk with my thumb out.
...the road was closed and it took an extra 30 minutes to get to work.
...good times were offered to me and I realized I may still have it. Whatever it is.
...I realized I'll never hear from you, you again.
...the bed wasn't made before leaving the house.
...was the shortest long day ever.
...the dryer didn't dry fast enough.
...green was my favorite color.
...was a Dre day.
...was a second day hair day, but no one noticed.
...the phrase "pee pee canteen" made me squirt water out of my nose.
...the Rolling Backpack! was given a vacation.
...I didn't want to sleep for fear of missing something.
Today it rained.
Today it rained.
Today...
...I made a new friend.
...fish was for dinner.
...canary 'white out' was discovered. Is it still 'white out' if it's yellow?
...someone gave me a ride in a golf cart because it was raining and I was standing on the sidewalk with my thumb out.
...the road was closed and it took an extra 30 minutes to get to work.
...good times were offered to me and I realized I may still have it. Whatever it is.
...I realized I'll never hear from you, you again.
...the bed wasn't made before leaving the house.
...was the shortest long day ever.
...the dryer didn't dry fast enough.
...green was my favorite color.
...was a Dre day.
...was a second day hair day, but no one noticed.
...the phrase "pee pee canteen" made me squirt water out of my nose.
...the Rolling Backpack! was given a vacation.
...I didn't want to sleep for fear of missing something.
Today it rained.
Monday, July 25, 2005
I Put Younger Girls in Trances
Lately, I notice younger girls observing me. I'll be pushing my cart through Cub and I'll see a tween watching my every move. While picking out my newest fall jacket - velvet/cord hybrid in a deep wine color - a girl and her mother and watching me and talking about the jacket, then later the girl telling me about getting ready to start her sophomore year at Richwoods High. I'm walking through Target with my basket and the teen girls are watching me sniff the shampoo. I talk them out of buying cream to powder foundation that masks their clear(er than they think) skin and into getting a tinted moisturizer instead.
All of this makes me wonder what's so darned fascinating. I really don't mean this in a self-centered way either. Apparently I'm rather noticeable. I've always been rather cogniscent of those around me, often trying to discern what I can about others through observation. Maybe in a larger area there are more people like me? Or maybe the girls look at me and think maybe they'll turn out okay too. But what if they look at me and make mental notes of what not to do...
Retail Love, July Edition
1 (aforementioned) wine colored velvet/cord hybrid blazer
4 (on sale!) bottles of bath wash from Bath & Bodyworks: "soothing" vanilla soy, C.O. Bigelow Almond, Cherry Blossom, Raspberry Vanilla...
1 tube of Flirt! She-Devil Lipgloss
I got a haircut today too. It's a non-sexually repressed bob with long layers.
I also fell off the diet wagon today, eating a Culver's Butter Burger. But I didn't get cheese on it and it was only a single burger - very thin. It didn't taste very buttery.
Absent
I rarely hear of people anymore. About once a day I wonder if I've scared them away with my words. My perfunctory ramblngs on the mundane has made them realize that they're a waste of bandwidth? Overly busy perhaps...
Night Terror
Regardless of where I am, I get "freaked" out by my apartment every now and then. Last night, I was convinced that I saw an "axe-murderer" standing in my hallway. About 5'9, caucasian, shaggy dark brown hair, scraggly beard, holding the axe in the left hand, not quite 'all there' in the eyes. Looked a bit like Mick Foley...
I slept with my door closed and locked. No matter how at peace I feel, I'm always terrorized at night by something and oddly enough, it's always in my mind. If I would have had somewhere else to sleep last night, I would have gone there.
Wedding Crashers
Go See It! Now! What are you waiting for? Go!
Lately, I notice younger girls observing me. I'll be pushing my cart through Cub and I'll see a tween watching my every move. While picking out my newest fall jacket - velvet/cord hybrid in a deep wine color - a girl and her mother and watching me and talking about the jacket, then later the girl telling me about getting ready to start her sophomore year at Richwoods High. I'm walking through Target with my basket and the teen girls are watching me sniff the shampoo. I talk them out of buying cream to powder foundation that masks their clear(er than they think) skin and into getting a tinted moisturizer instead.
All of this makes me wonder what's so darned fascinating. I really don't mean this in a self-centered way either. Apparently I'm rather noticeable. I've always been rather cogniscent of those around me, often trying to discern what I can about others through observation. Maybe in a larger area there are more people like me? Or maybe the girls look at me and think maybe they'll turn out okay too. But what if they look at me and make mental notes of what not to do...
Retail Love, July Edition
1 (aforementioned) wine colored velvet/cord hybrid blazer
4 (on sale!) bottles of bath wash from Bath & Bodyworks: "soothing" vanilla soy, C.O. Bigelow Almond, Cherry Blossom, Raspberry Vanilla...
1 tube of Flirt! She-Devil Lipgloss
I got a haircut today too. It's a non-sexually repressed bob with long layers.
I also fell off the diet wagon today, eating a Culver's Butter Burger. But I didn't get cheese on it and it was only a single burger - very thin. It didn't taste very buttery.
Absent
I rarely hear of people anymore. About once a day I wonder if I've scared them away with my words. My perfunctory ramblngs on the mundane has made them realize that they're a waste of bandwidth? Overly busy perhaps...
Night Terror
Regardless of where I am, I get "freaked" out by my apartment every now and then. Last night, I was convinced that I saw an "axe-murderer" standing in my hallway. About 5'9, caucasian, shaggy dark brown hair, scraggly beard, holding the axe in the left hand, not quite 'all there' in the eyes. Looked a bit like Mick Foley...
I slept with my door closed and locked. No matter how at peace I feel, I'm always terrorized at night by something and oddly enough, it's always in my mind. If I would have had somewhere else to sleep last night, I would have gone there.
Wedding Crashers
Go See It! Now! What are you waiting for? Go!
Sunday, July 24, 2005
"It's too late/tonight/to drag the past out into the light" - "One," U2
Every once in a while when it's too late and I have too much time on my hands, I open up old chat transcripts and read over them. It's not that I consciously save all of my transcripts so much as I never changed the default setting from trillian so that it wouldn't save.
It's come in handy at times. Directions to houses. Phone numbers. Using words as nails for crucifying someone. Drawing conclusions and making inferences. Self-torture. Self-soothing. Remember that at one time, someone gave a damn. Having a good laugh. Learning lessons.
I open a window, browse the words and feel the air slowly leaving my chest, but not through my mouth. It's like a sucking chest wound and not even a plastic bag can keep my lungs from collapsing. The pen is mightier than the sword, but what about the word processor. I'm impaled into my chair in Times New Roman. I'm not pierced by scornful words or observations that hurt because they're true, but by the chat sessions where I'm told of the good qualities that I posess. Word by word, my heart is broken all over again. Perhaps it's devestating even when positive simply because the truth hurts?
Most of my conversations read really good on the screen. This means that not only are most of you surprisingly good looking, you're quite eloquent too. Except for you jerks who pollute my screen with a plethora of "lol's," "oic's" and "how r u's?" You bastards.
Ultimately, I'd have to say that having the transcripts are better than not having them. They're a valuable resource on night's like tonight when I'm at a roadblock in the progression of thinking up characters and how they act, react, etc. What better way to develop a character study than to actually sit down and study a bunch of characters...
Every once in a while when it's too late and I have too much time on my hands, I open up old chat transcripts and read over them. It's not that I consciously save all of my transcripts so much as I never changed the default setting from trillian so that it wouldn't save.
It's come in handy at times. Directions to houses. Phone numbers. Using words as nails for crucifying someone. Drawing conclusions and making inferences. Self-torture. Self-soothing. Remember that at one time, someone gave a damn. Having a good laugh. Learning lessons.
I open a window, browse the words and feel the air slowly leaving my chest, but not through my mouth. It's like a sucking chest wound and not even a plastic bag can keep my lungs from collapsing. The pen is mightier than the sword, but what about the word processor. I'm impaled into my chair in Times New Roman. I'm not pierced by scornful words or observations that hurt because they're true, but by the chat sessions where I'm told of the good qualities that I posess. Word by word, my heart is broken all over again. Perhaps it's devestating even when positive simply because the truth hurts?
Most of my conversations read really good on the screen. This means that not only are most of you surprisingly good looking, you're quite eloquent too. Except for you jerks who pollute my screen with a plethora of "lol's," "oic's" and "how r u's?" You bastards.
Ultimately, I'd have to say that having the transcripts are better than not having them. They're a valuable resource on night's like tonight when I'm at a roadblock in the progression of thinking up characters and how they act, react, etc. What better way to develop a character study than to actually sit down and study a bunch of characters...
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
Crazy Idea of the Night
I woke up from a nap earlier and started toying with the idea of taking an abnormal psychology course at Bradley. Such a setting is the only place I can think of off the top of my head where it is appropriate to sit around discussing the confused and/or depraved. Well, I can do this at my parents' house. They've both taught courses in it. We were watching The Aviator this weekend and Mom told me that Howard Hughes probably had psychomotor seizures because of his ticks where he'd start repeating the same words again and again, like a broken record. When people have psychomotor seizures, they become fixated on ideas, words, objects. She once had a student in her class that would become fixated with shiny objects and shoes. Once, he had a 3 hour psychomotor seizure and unraveled his entire shoe, thread by thread during the course of it. The human mind is an amazing thing.
I woke up from a nap earlier and started toying with the idea of taking an abnormal psychology course at Bradley. Such a setting is the only place I can think of off the top of my head where it is appropriate to sit around discussing the confused and/or depraved. Well, I can do this at my parents' house. They've both taught courses in it. We were watching The Aviator this weekend and Mom told me that Howard Hughes probably had psychomotor seizures because of his ticks where he'd start repeating the same words again and again, like a broken record. When people have psychomotor seizures, they become fixated on ideas, words, objects. She once had a student in her class that would become fixated with shiny objects and shoes. Once, he had a 3 hour psychomotor seizure and unraveled his entire shoe, thread by thread during the course of it. The human mind is an amazing thing.
More Proof that there IS a God
The longer I'm at my job and find out things about near misses, features of my building, the stuff that goes on, etc, the more I realize that there just HAS to be a God. That's the only way of explaining why no one has died, the building hasn't blown up, people haven't been grievously injured. It's by the grace of God that's it's just not one big smoking hole in the ground. And it's not just my facility. Mine is really safe. Many people and I work hard to keep things as safe as can be. It's for anywhere. The more I learn about mechanical and structural engineering, the more amazed I am that even when all fail-safes are bypassed and controls begin to fail that nothing bad has happened. It's just...amazing...
The longer I'm at my job and find out things about near misses, features of my building, the stuff that goes on, etc, the more I realize that there just HAS to be a God. That's the only way of explaining why no one has died, the building hasn't blown up, people haven't been grievously injured. It's by the grace of God that's it's just not one big smoking hole in the ground. And it's not just my facility. Mine is really safe. Many people and I work hard to keep things as safe as can be. It's for anywhere. The more I learn about mechanical and structural engineering, the more amazed I am that even when all fail-safes are bypassed and controls begin to fail that nothing bad has happened. It's just...amazing...
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Sex on Wheels
Yesterday morning, after my supervisor saw me stuffing all of my audit files and laptop into my laptop case, she told me that she was going to get me a different bag. Well, being the girl that I am, I immediately went giddy with the thought of a brand new bag. Seriously, tell a girl you're getting her a bag and she'll just go irrational - remember that boys.
Anyway, after the meeting, we stopped by the safety store, where I immediately begin tinkering with the displays. And I heard her charging the bag to EH&S (Environmental Health & Safety), then I turned around to see my new bag, which is supposed to be better on my back and more comfortable to carry. My brand...new...ROLLING BACKPACK.
I have to admit - it's pretty great because it holds most of my stuff. I'll no longer get petechiae on my shoulders from carrying the old laptop bag. I won't have to worry about it falling off my shoulder...the manager of fuel systems made fun of it. I saw the cute british guy walking down the hallway and I hid so he wouldn't see me with my rolling backpack.
I think this is some sort of karmic retribution for all of those mean comments I made about the non-trads and their rolling backpacks. "This isn't an airport!" Wanting to run up and kick their bags. Pointing and laughing. It's all coming back to me tenfold. But who knows - maybe I'll be able to start a new trend here. I'm young, I'm stylish, I have a backpack that rolls. It'll be the new hotness...
Yesterday morning, after my supervisor saw me stuffing all of my audit files and laptop into my laptop case, she told me that she was going to get me a different bag. Well, being the girl that I am, I immediately went giddy with the thought of a brand new bag. Seriously, tell a girl you're getting her a bag and she'll just go irrational - remember that boys.
Anyway, after the meeting, we stopped by the safety store, where I immediately begin tinkering with the displays. And I heard her charging the bag to EH&S (Environmental Health & Safety), then I turned around to see my new bag, which is supposed to be better on my back and more comfortable to carry. My brand...new...ROLLING BACKPACK.
I have to admit - it's pretty great because it holds most of my stuff. I'll no longer get petechiae on my shoulders from carrying the old laptop bag. I won't have to worry about it falling off my shoulder...the manager of fuel systems made fun of it. I saw the cute british guy walking down the hallway and I hid so he wouldn't see me with my rolling backpack.
I think this is some sort of karmic retribution for all of those mean comments I made about the non-trads and their rolling backpacks. "This isn't an airport!" Wanting to run up and kick their bags. Pointing and laughing. It's all coming back to me tenfold. But who knows - maybe I'll be able to start a new trend here. I'm young, I'm stylish, I have a backpack that rolls. It'll be the new hotness...
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
"Blame it on a simple twist of fate." - Bob Dylan
So you want to know what I think about religion? About evolution? About the origin of the universe? How did this all begin, why are we here and where are we going? Pull up a chair, fix yourself a drink, and listen carefully for what I'm about to say is going to make no sense whatsoever.
A higher power created the universe because those inhabiting the universe wanted so badly for there to be a higher power. And out of this want and need and great love and curiousity, matter was created and it began to spin and heat until it began to toss pieces of matter far away from the center of newly created mass. And then those pieces of matter continued to spin and split and soon there were galaxies and suns and rock and on those rocks, the atoms which made up the different elements began to react to create cells. Those cells divided and became numerous but then began to mutate after their structures were changed after being exposed to the ionizing radiation created by the spinning, heated mass known as the stars. Thus differentiated cells came into existence. This wasn't the cases on all of the planets because to sustain life as being too close to the stars would have too much energy to keep the cells together but being too far would not provide enough energy to power the cells and then "life" would stop. Pure chance, luck, whatever you may, is the reason the cells on Earth became "life." Maybe it was a God that caused this to happen. I've always thought that it was the best scientists who considered this to be a possibility because such a stance demonstrated an open-mindedness to all possibilities - even the divine. I actually don't think we're supposed to know the exact origin of our existence for if we really did know the answer to this - one of the greatest mysteries of humanity - what would be the reason for striving to find more answers when the answer to the greatest question of all is known. This is kind of like...why watch a mystery tv series if you already know how it'll end? I don't think we came directly from a bunch of monkeys. We're related to them...thus giving some validity to the phrase "well I'll be a monkey's uncle" ... but we're related to them as we are to all other living creatures on this planet as we all share the same basic chemical composition. There's such a divergance in the sophistication between humans and monkeys that there has to be some sort of intermediate we don't yet know of...but then again, maybe we were just created by God because He knew we wanted Him to create us. But don't forget that there would be no God if we weren't here, therefore it could be said that we in turn, created Him.
So, in conclusion...I don't know why we're here. I don't know the meaning of life, but I have an idea that some of the great philosophers/thinkers can give glimpses and insights into what makes this world go 'round. There is no set way for all - we just need to figure for ourselves what it is that gives this world meaning. To me, simply finding meaning and joy in the little moments is what defines a life. There is no grand scheme of things, no master plan. There is only the drive to get a better insight and understanding of the world around us and the love and energy it takes to try each day to leave the world a little better than you found it when the day began.
So you want to know what I think about religion? About evolution? About the origin of the universe? How did this all begin, why are we here and where are we going? Pull up a chair, fix yourself a drink, and listen carefully for what I'm about to say is going to make no sense whatsoever.
A higher power created the universe because those inhabiting the universe wanted so badly for there to be a higher power. And out of this want and need and great love and curiousity, matter was created and it began to spin and heat until it began to toss pieces of matter far away from the center of newly created mass. And then those pieces of matter continued to spin and split and soon there were galaxies and suns and rock and on those rocks, the atoms which made up the different elements began to react to create cells. Those cells divided and became numerous but then began to mutate after their structures were changed after being exposed to the ionizing radiation created by the spinning, heated mass known as the stars. Thus differentiated cells came into existence. This wasn't the cases on all of the planets because to sustain life as being too close to the stars would have too much energy to keep the cells together but being too far would not provide enough energy to power the cells and then "life" would stop. Pure chance, luck, whatever you may, is the reason the cells on Earth became "life." Maybe it was a God that caused this to happen. I've always thought that it was the best scientists who considered this to be a possibility because such a stance demonstrated an open-mindedness to all possibilities - even the divine. I actually don't think we're supposed to know the exact origin of our existence for if we really did know the answer to this - one of the greatest mysteries of humanity - what would be the reason for striving to find more answers when the answer to the greatest question of all is known. This is kind of like...why watch a mystery tv series if you already know how it'll end? I don't think we came directly from a bunch of monkeys. We're related to them...thus giving some validity to the phrase "well I'll be a monkey's uncle" ... but we're related to them as we are to all other living creatures on this planet as we all share the same basic chemical composition. There's such a divergance in the sophistication between humans and monkeys that there has to be some sort of intermediate we don't yet know of...but then again, maybe we were just created by God because He knew we wanted Him to create us. But don't forget that there would be no God if we weren't here, therefore it could be said that we in turn, created Him.
So, in conclusion...I don't know why we're here. I don't know the meaning of life, but I have an idea that some of the great philosophers/thinkers can give glimpses and insights into what makes this world go 'round. There is no set way for all - we just need to figure for ourselves what it is that gives this world meaning. To me, simply finding meaning and joy in the little moments is what defines a life. There is no grand scheme of things, no master plan. There is only the drive to get a better insight and understanding of the world around us and the love and energy it takes to try each day to leave the world a little better than you found it when the day began.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Stream of Consciousness: Long Weekend Version
*The Ford Freestyle looks like the product of a drunken night between a minivan and a stationwagon.
*My bathwater was too hot and I'm now the color of a lobster. Melted butter...
*Sometimes when I talk to people, I feel like we're having two different conversations and I'm the only one that notices.
*I pruned my chat friends list. I've grown tired of looking down the list and realizing that I'd rather not talk to dirtywhores/self centered idiots with a misplaced sense of entitlement/liars/boys who hit girls (especially if it's me). If I'm not going to talk to them, I don't want their names marring my list of people I like.
*I presently don't think I can "handle" making a trip to Murray in the month of July. Maybe I'll go in August. Feel free to ask about this.
*I've been having recurring dreams about people I know. Don't feel free to ask me about this.
*Two weeks ago, I had a random realization (you know one of those "ah, i never thought about it like that" moments) about one of my friends, but I'll never say anything because it'd be unfair to share it. So I just wear my reminder and hope we'll grab a glass of pinot sometime at the thunderdome.
*I'm shopping around for a SUV. This has made me realize how much I loathe the idea of "3rd Row Seating* and "small sized SUVs." It's also made me realize that I'd much rather just get a Mustang and go crazy with it. Then, realizing this makes me realize that I'll never get a Mustang because it's "impractical" and that this is a sad commentary on my life. And then suddenly I feel a quarter-life crisis about to rear its ugly head... It also makes me kind of sad that right now I'm one of those people that's "into" shopping for a car.
*Now that I've graduated from college and gotten a job, people have started to bug me about getting married. I find this especially amusing as not only am I not presently seeing anyone, I don't want to date anyone. I don't even want a nice boy to take me out for dinner. I'll buy my own steak thankyouverymuch. This isn't a knee-jerk reaction to anything in particular that's happened to me in recent months, but I'm just tired of all the crap that goes along with the courting game. And I haven't been able to find someone who doesn't just piss me off all the time. If I want to be angry all the time, I'll go be a cabbie in Chicago. Besides, everyone I've met lately is either married or engaged. This is especially evident in the lunchroom when the kids my age are going through their meticulously packed (ala SO) lunches and I'm like "look, I have a cup of yogurt, some smashed cookies, and lunchmeat no bread." And it's not an Atkins thing, it's that I don't have my stuff together enough to find/buy bread. I think I'm the only person who graduated from college without a significant other/betrothed in tow. And I'm not complaining one bit. I'm so happy I have a MS and not a MRS. Besides, I'm at a stage in my life where I see marriage as the death rattle of all of my hopes and dreams. However, having said that...:
*When the cute British engineer stops and talks to me, I have this overwhelming urge to ask him to repeat certain words (like "jaguar") and then just giggle like a silly girl.
*Last week I realized that my predecessor is rather attractive for someone whose last name is the same as a muppet.
*FruitLoops is the only thing that can make me forget that it's soy milk they're swimming in and not cow milk.
*People who don't shut up when a conversation has already died need to be hit in the head with a big, obvious brick.
*Even though I'm "grown," I'm still that little girl who locks herself in her room and plays Nintendo while Mom and Dad argue downstairs. I still get that same mixture of sad and scared in the pit of my stomach and the game I play is still Ducktales. I can still beat Ducktales in less than 45 minutes. I suppose some things will never change.
*The gas station in Lincoln, Illinois is the best in the world because the people who run it are crazy. I've never seen gas station attendants have so much fun and mess with the customers. It's a bunch of middle aged women that will tease you to your face and give you a hard time. It's kind of like if someone of us got together and ran a gas station...and were all middle aged women.
*There's this show on after the St. Louis channel 4 Saturday night newscast called "Harrah's Lucky Break" which is American Idol ala St. Louis casino. This is the most unintentionally funny show I've seen in quite some time. It's pure comedic gold.
*Catching an afternoon matinee after work this week. Just need to pick a movie.
*I really should go to bed...
*The Ford Freestyle looks like the product of a drunken night between a minivan and a stationwagon.
*My bathwater was too hot and I'm now the color of a lobster. Melted butter...
*Sometimes when I talk to people, I feel like we're having two different conversations and I'm the only one that notices.
*I pruned my chat friends list. I've grown tired of looking down the list and realizing that I'd rather not talk to dirtywhores/self centered idiots with a misplaced sense of entitlement/liars/boys who hit girls (especially if it's me). If I'm not going to talk to them, I don't want their names marring my list of people I like.
*I presently don't think I can "handle" making a trip to Murray in the month of July. Maybe I'll go in August. Feel free to ask about this.
*I've been having recurring dreams about people I know. Don't feel free to ask me about this.
*Two weeks ago, I had a random realization (you know one of those "ah, i never thought about it like that" moments) about one of my friends, but I'll never say anything because it'd be unfair to share it. So I just wear my reminder and hope we'll grab a glass of pinot sometime at the thunderdome.
*I'm shopping around for a SUV. This has made me realize how much I loathe the idea of "3rd Row Seating* and "small sized SUVs." It's also made me realize that I'd much rather just get a Mustang and go crazy with it. Then, realizing this makes me realize that I'll never get a Mustang because it's "impractical" and that this is a sad commentary on my life. And then suddenly I feel a quarter-life crisis about to rear its ugly head... It also makes me kind of sad that right now I'm one of those people that's "into" shopping for a car.
*Now that I've graduated from college and gotten a job, people have started to bug me about getting married. I find this especially amusing as not only am I not presently seeing anyone, I don't want to date anyone. I don't even want a nice boy to take me out for dinner. I'll buy my own steak thankyouverymuch. This isn't a knee-jerk reaction to anything in particular that's happened to me in recent months, but I'm just tired of all the crap that goes along with the courting game. And I haven't been able to find someone who doesn't just piss me off all the time. If I want to be angry all the time, I'll go be a cabbie in Chicago. Besides, everyone I've met lately is either married or engaged. This is especially evident in the lunchroom when the kids my age are going through their meticulously packed (ala SO) lunches and I'm like "look, I have a cup of yogurt, some smashed cookies, and lunchmeat no bread." And it's not an Atkins thing, it's that I don't have my stuff together enough to find/buy bread. I think I'm the only person who graduated from college without a significant other/betrothed in tow. And I'm not complaining one bit. I'm so happy I have a MS and not a MRS. Besides, I'm at a stage in my life where I see marriage as the death rattle of all of my hopes and dreams. However, having said that...:
*When the cute British engineer stops and talks to me, I have this overwhelming urge to ask him to repeat certain words (like "jaguar") and then just giggle like a silly girl.
*Last week I realized that my predecessor is rather attractive for someone whose last name is the same as a muppet.
*FruitLoops is the only thing that can make me forget that it's soy milk they're swimming in and not cow milk.
*People who don't shut up when a conversation has already died need to be hit in the head with a big, obvious brick.
*Even though I'm "grown," I'm still that little girl who locks herself in her room and plays Nintendo while Mom and Dad argue downstairs. I still get that same mixture of sad and scared in the pit of my stomach and the game I play is still Ducktales. I can still beat Ducktales in less than 45 minutes. I suppose some things will never change.
*The gas station in Lincoln, Illinois is the best in the world because the people who run it are crazy. I've never seen gas station attendants have so much fun and mess with the customers. It's a bunch of middle aged women that will tease you to your face and give you a hard time. It's kind of like if someone of us got together and ran a gas station...and were all middle aged women.
*There's this show on after the St. Louis channel 4 Saturday night newscast called "Harrah's Lucky Break" which is American Idol ala St. Louis casino. This is the most unintentionally funny show I've seen in quite some time. It's pure comedic gold.
*Catching an afternoon matinee after work this week. Just need to pick a movie.
*I really should go to bed...
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