Purloined from Other Blogs: Reflections of This Year

1. Was 2005 a Good Year for You?

The other day, I opened my new issue of RollingStone Magazine and noticed an article about how 2005 was not a good year. I wouldn't go as far as to say that 2005 was a bad year, but it was most certainly difficult. It was one, big, fussy baby of a year.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year?

Yesterday afternoon, actually. I was walking out the gates after putting in my last day of work for the year when I looked up at the sky and realized that while things were very much not like I had envisioned them, that I was at a place at my life where I wanted - gainfully employed, making some dough, and about to get an actual holiday break. And the sky was clear and I could smell spring in the air...even though we're due for another 22 inches of snow before the year ends. There's a lot to be said for becoming the person you wanted to be when you were 10.

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?

Early April, somewhere in Missouri...it was at that exact moment that I realized that even gravity fails. And I was in Missouri.

4. Where were you when 2005 began?

Sitting at the kitchen table, playing cards and drinking whiskey with Grandpa!

5. Where will you be when 2005 ends?

I don't know.

6. Did you keep your 2005 Resolutions?

I no longer make resolutions. Everyday, we're all a work in progress.

7. Did you fall in love in 2005?

I drowned in it.

8. What is the stupidest thing you've done this year?

Probably trimming some dude's armpit hair in the bathroom of a shitty apartment in Morton, IL. That was pretty lame.

9. Regret it?

Ney. It makes a good, albeit weird, story.

10. Did you break up with anyone in 2005?

I had no traditional relationships this year. I did, however, preemptively call some things off this year as well as talk myself out of persuing a few.

11. Did you make any new friends in 2005?

There's a whole new cast of characters out there...

12. Who are your favorite new friends?

Peoria wouldn't be the same without the Reverend. This is a fact.

13. What was your favorite month of 2005?

August was pretty kickass!

14. Did you travel outside the US in 2005?

I went to Florida. Same difference.

15. How many states did you travel to in 2005?

Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Missouri, Texas, Florida, Indiana, Ohio, Georgia...surely there were more. I almost went to Pennsylvania.

16. Did you lose anyone close to you in 2005?

No one died, but there are many far away and a couple lost to me.

17. What was your favorite movie of 2005?

I saw Star Wars thrice in the theater. Waiting... was silly but it spoke to me. I loved the message: Sometimes you just have to show your balls to the world to shake things up and give life the momentum it needs to go in a different direction. It was profound.

18. What was your favorite song of 2005?

I don't listen to much new stuff anymore. Having said that, my (personal) definitive 5 of the year were:

1. Chariot - Gavin De Graw
2. Slackjawed Jezebel - Gov't Mule
3. Learning to Fly - Pink Floyd
4. Heart of the City - Jay Z
5. Something in the Air - Wilco (orig. by Thunderclap Newman)

A myriad of moments burned into my mind were accompanied by these songs.

19. What was your favorite record of 2005?

Late Registration blew my mind.

Led Zepplin IV for the rediscovery win.

20. How many concerts did you see in 2005?

A ton of locals while out and about, Three Dog Night in Florida, Montgomery Gentry in a cornfield, and Wilco in Chambana for the win.

21. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?

Does the pope wear prada? Less now that I've gone legit.

22. Did you do anything that you were ashamed of this year?

Once my shame burned so brightly that the tungsten broke. If I did, it didn't register. Actually, being an ass to people. I burn with shame when I'm an ass to people. Especially family or friends.

23. What was your most embarassing moment of 2005?

They are innumerable. I was in a situation where the patrons of a beer garden were clapping and cheering and I've said some pretty stupid stuff this year. Oh, and I ripped my pants at work the other day. Right in the business district too.

24. What was your proudest moment of 2005?

This year I got a good job and a Master's Degree. I blazed a path of glory across the United States. I'm actually most proud that in the face of adversity, I've finally learned to only maneuver with grace and aplomb. Just still being here is an achievement. And so is being told that I've made things better.

25. What are your plans for 2006?

More fun. More money. More certifications. More adventure. More hope. More of everything.

The Cold Room

This morning, I donned a parka and went into the cold room. The sophisticated refrigeration system in that room allows it to get to temperatures in excess of 50 degrees below zero. When I went in, it was only 5 to 10 below. It didn't feel that bad. Then again, I was only in there for about 10 minutes at a time. But still...I went in the cold room!

Sunday Night

For starters, it just kills me that commercials refer to this area as "downstate Illinois." There's about 330 more miles of state south of here and about 300 miles of state north of here. Wouldn't "midstate Illinois" or "central Illinois" be a more appropriate descriptive term? Oh yes, that's right, there's nothing south of I-80. Absolutely nothing. At all.

I've done absolutely nothing this weekend. Absolutely nothing. I've been living off a steady diet of tv, taco bell, and self-loathing. Though thanks to a profound post on MSUR by Allison, I realized that my warped perception of relationships is the product of a statistical misconception, aka the Gambler's Fallacy.
So now that I realize this, I can move on about my fears of new relationships and concentrate my neuroses on something else - just in time for 2006. I guess now my biggest hangup is that the wonderful ones will lose interest in me and just go away. I get really scared of being abandoned and I think that's the reason why I have this near-constat urge to not settle in one place for very long and move around as much as I can. If I can be the first to go, no one will have the chance to just up and leave me. Speaking of broken logic...
Why is it that mathematics, something that used to be the bain of my existence, has become something quite comforting.

Thanks to the wonder that is TBS, I am now watching Forrest Gump for the second time this evening. It is impossible to watch this movie and not become teary-eyed a time or two.

Four more days of work until shutdown. After a weekend of doing nothing, it actually appears like I'll make it through the week. I just need to keep morale up and know that working all the time isn't the path to contentment. I think I'm going to go offsite for lunch on Wednesday and/or Thursday. And if I can, I'll sneak off at lunch on Tuesday for a discount carwash on Knoxville. (Ladies day at the gas station/car care place.) My black paint job isn't meshing well with the insane amounts of salt dumped on the roads up here. No wonder come spring these roads are as bumpy as they can be.

Bumpy...I really like the way that word fits in my mouth.

Other words that fit well in my mouth...calling someone up and saying hello and asking if they'd like to have dinner or a something as I pass through town on my way back home for Christmas. Until then, a poke on facebook will have to suffice.

Griping about a Cold: Vol. 2

Top 5 Reasons Why It's Not Cool to Have a Cold

1. When you call people, they think that it's Darth Vadar crank calling.
2. Tonsils the size of footballs.
3. Sparky the red nosed reindeer. (Just in time for the holiday festivities.)
4. No one will make out with you. (Wait, that's every single day.)
5. Your head turns into a slime factory.


Accomplishments for the weekend:
1. Sleeping 18 hours Friday-Saturday.
2. "The Magic of Christmas" with family at the Little Theatre on the Square in Sullivan.
3. Surviving a trip to Decatur.
4. Realizing I was going the wrong way down a one way in Springfield. "Wait, why are the turn lane arrows pointing toward me?"
5. Updating my iPod. (Johnny Cash@work == Faster Days, Greater Productivity)
6. Filing my fingernails and then proceeding to bite at the skin around them, as I am an unrepentant nail biter.
7. Another inch or two of snow. (Fie on me, taking credit for mother nature.)
8. Spraying everything (everything!) with Lysol).
9. Freaky dreams about being gunned down by Mexicans while hunting for deer and about motivational speeches at work but being unable to listen because people kept playing with my leg.
10. Reading about decarbonizing an engine. (Hott!)

The Pro

So I was a wee bit hungover at work yesterday. I had a good reason though, you see. Tuesday morning, I slammed my finger in the drawer and then proceeded to have a brisk nosebleed. Later that afternoon, I was chewed out for things that I didn't do nor do I have any control over to fix. But worst of all was getting angry with the person whose cubicle I go hide in when life is boring or scary. It was stupid, but sometimes people say and do things that make people the worst kind of angry of all...girl angry. Being girl angry is the worst because it's this irrational, uncontrollable, very sad tantrum like fit. You'll want to control yourself but it just all spills out. I think of it as an acute spoke in the menstral cycle. (For reference, when I'm girl angry, I'll shoot dirty looks, get quiet, and contemplate/call you bad names under my breath.) Fortunately, like the burn of wasabi, it's transient. Hot as hell but transient.

So then I cleared off my desk of distractions (goodbye ringtoss!) and slammed it all away in my metal desk drawer, finger and all. Then I proceeded to yell "OWWW!" at a volume I hypothesize to have been heard at least 3 cubicles away. Immediately my eyes began to tear up, partly because of pain and mostly because I had allowed myself to be so irritated that I had physically injured myself. Deciding to literally go cool off, I ran (actually it was fast walking) outside and called Ames, babbling incoherently while sticking my hand into a snow bank. After returning to my desk, my nose started bleeding. When it rains, it pours.

Now I'll just skip to the resolution of this because the odds are that if you're reading this, I probably called you from Old Chicago on Tuesday night several Budweisers and bourbon shots into celebrating my 6 months at work. (As with all great tantrums I've had, this one related to indifference to a milestone. I'm the queen of maturity.) Nicole and I talked about how strange work can be and I drunkenly told her that she's the most awesomest assitant/friend ever. Seriously - she sets up my meetings at day and hauls my pitifulness around at night. I had her take me to "the cleanest bar" in Peoria, hoping that bright lighting, clean(ish) floors and karoke would keep away all that I did not want to see that night. As for that, I did call and apologize in my own little Sparky way, offering information about toxic substances as peace offering. That and words that rhyme with cube(s).

But yesterday I spent the first 90 minutes at work completing 4 reports. I get a lot done in a short amount of time when I'm not busy trying not to vomit. Didn't feel better until sometime after lunch, though was still having questionable moments into the afternoon. Felt the best after drinking coffee in the hallway and deciding to just get one with it all. I'm a pro though - I even ran a morning meeting explaining complex concepts and sketching out gas chromatograph peaks to illustrate my points. Only three people were the wiser to my condition. Will I make a habit of this? Hell no.

So what was my secret to being chipper despite waking up wondering if I had eaten sand in the night? People that I drunk dialed calling me up at 7 am to make sure I was okay. Really, if someone had called you up girl-crying (you know how that goes) around midnight, demanding bedtime stories, and falling asleep on the phone, what would you do? Well this nice boy called me back and though I don't think I've yet told him, it really meant a lot. And with that, for as badly as Tuesday morning started off, Wednesday morning started off that well.

Shallow Thoughts

When driving for hours and hours, it's easy to let the mind wander. It'd easier to think in a random string of consciousness than think about how little there on I-57 and that it's just crazy there are actually 70 miles between Mattoon and Champaign. (Hence the reason for meandering through country roads this afternoon...had seen more of 57 than I could bear.)

So here it is folks, a sampling (n=10) of things that I've realized/thought about today:

1. I've had a magazine subscription for 12 years.
2. Chicken rings from White Castle are way better than Chicken Fries from Burger King.
3. Someone keeps erroneously sending me email inviting me to go do things. I've pointed this out to the sender a few times, but I keep getting the email. I don't know a "Lauren" from a pro-life group at Notre Dame. And though I'm sure she's lovely, I don't really want to go have coffee.
4. I left the rest of that spaghetti in Katie's fridge. When I put meat in it, I like mine better.
5. It sucks that all the sororities have to go through mandatory hazing awareness training when it's been quasi-common knowledge for years which ones partake in questionable activities while the rest play by the rules.
6. 33 degrees feels colder than 8, though humidity may play a role.
7. There may be no such thing as a "good" Applebees in Springfield, Illinois. And there's no good way to get across town either.
8. What the hell does it mean when someone tells you to "take care of yourself?"
9. Having a flame-thrower would be pretty cool.
10. A sure-fire sign I need to find some culture around here: I made a mental note to go check out a western supply store next time I'm passing through Tower Hill. Why do I even care where Tower Hill is located and what has happened to me that makes me want to hang out at places like Rural King.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits. This kills me.
12. Everytime I drive through Franklin County, Illinois, I think of that episode of The X-Files ("Home") and the Peacock family. *shudder*
13. There is no proper response for people trying to open the bathroom stall you're occupying. Today while stopped in aforementioned deliverance country, I started to open an occupied stall. This raised two questions: 1) What is the etiquette for such a situation and 2) Who the hell uses a public restroom without locking the door.
14. Yo Butt Aint Made Fo That (blatent link theft, nsfw, wickedly funny)


Mens Rooms Used This Month: 2
Beers: 8
Trips to the Gym: 0
Outbreaks of Nail Chewing: 1

Company Christmas Party

I drank a beer with the boss and his wife tried to set me up with her son. I called the most bear-like manager "St. Pauli Girl" because he was running around holding two pitchers of beer. Hung with the teamsters. Made friends with the wives and girlfriends. I smell like a bar.

Now I'm going to Murray. Call my cell if you're going to be in town.

"I've Never Eaten Beaver"

...and other stupid stuff I've said at work...

Yeah. So I've never eaten 'possum, 'coon, or many other woodland creatures either. And did you know that you can't eat the tail of a beaver? Well, now you do.

It's something like 12 degrees right now. I've spent the evening trying to stay warm in the cowboy blanket I brought from the parents' house and tidying up around the house. Oh why is my house the cleanest when there's little to no chance of anyone seeing it? It's a wonderful thing that tomorrow is Friday and it's been the kind of week that makes each hour seem like an eternity. By tomorrow evening, I will feel the most young and frail that I ever have at the end of a week...and just in time for the company Christmas party. Who will be the person who wears the lampshade on his or her head at the end of the night? When I'm back at work on Tuesday, who will be the person I can't help but giggle at because I know what happens when they're three sheets to the wind? I've already heard the horrific story of one of the team leaders being pantsed (or is it de-pantsed since the pants are off?) and showing "two full moons."