Wicked Wednesday
This morning, I woke up to an unusually bright bedroom and feeling very odd about an evening of vivid and lurid dreams just experienced. I won't go into too much detail about it, but all experienced in dreamland was an amalgum of retail, bear fights, and other sensations. Upon first waking, I was thinking of the ocean but soon realized that the sound of running water was actually my private bath toilet running wild. Call Father Marin - we need an exorcism.
Actually, part of the flushing mechanism is going out and water is being pulled down because there's not a good seal. One of these days, I'll stop trying to fix it myself and call the maintenance person. Until then, I try to make it stop and have actually shouted at the toilet to "shut up!" This is even more futile and ridiculous than that time a frog got into my apartment and I opened the front door and shouted at it to "get out of my house!" while pointing at the door. The frog just looked at me like "yo, I'm a frog, this is funny."
Two more days of work...and this afternoon, I made five different slide shows. I'm almost as tired of powerpoint as I am of hearing myself speak. Sometimes I want to splice in questionable pictures and sayings (Only safety glasses can protect you from a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face!) for the slideshows that other people will be using but don't actually look at before presenting. However, I never get tired of coloring my opinon of the science of beating the odds with offbeat and grim anecdotes. Or trading stories about people getting shot in the eyes with lasers. Or talking about killing critters with gardening tools, smoking out groundhogs...
I had an engineer approach me and tell me that he had a safety issue because there was a mouse in the console room.
"There's a mouse in the console room."
"Well did you kill it?"
"No."
"Did you catch it?"
"..."
"You want me to go down there and get it for you? Just give me a minute and I'll be down there with a broom."
"Um...can I put in a Safety Observation."
"Just put in a Safety Work Order. Call WGI helpdesk and tell them you need someone to get rid of a mouse for you."
"What if it chews through my wires?"
"That's why you call someone to get rid of it for you."
I'll admit - it would have been funny to have gone after a mouse with a broom. It would be akin to that time with the consulting firm when we had wasps in the financial office and I had to go in after them with a can of bug spray and a fly swatter. And after the wasps had been terminated, I had to climb under a desk to retrieve the bodies because the boss wouldn't be satisfied until she saw the dead wasp bodies.
After work, I went home with every intention of working out, but cereal and America's Next Top Model got the best of me. Veronica Mars isn't too bad of a show either. Kristen Bell is pretty hot too, but I read in Maxim that she has a "wonky" eye and she's also a Detroit Red Wings fan...not too sure we can work with that. Did some mild tidying to the house and pen and ink drawing before taking out the trash and breathing in the soy-corn-fermentation scented air (it smells like beer. a lot) and sitting in my car. I just sat out in the parking lot in my car for a good five minutes, enjoying the new car smell still retained and the cold night air. It's been months since I've had such an enjoyable time just chilling out in a car. No radio, no company, no nothing. Just me and the cool night air. And then one of the best songs ever, Sophie B. Hawkin's "Damn, Wish I was Your Lover" as I pulled into the garage. Bills for the mail in the front passenger seat, new bottle of water ready for tomorrow's commute, an old favorite mix cd queued up in the dash...I think I'm ready to face one more day.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Anger is Easy
Ever notice how people want to act pissed off and throw stuff around after they've hit their hand with a hammer?
After much deliberation, I've decided that it's easier to feel anger than any other emotion. Most anger is irrational and thoughtless. It's more socially acceptable to be angry. When's the last time there's been a great movie about people just sitting around being sad? It's all about the anger and the resulting kill crazy rampage that follows. There are no good sorrow movies, but there are several really, really good ones about anger and revenge.
Lately I've tried to be angry and go with it. It's easier than wallowing in the overwhelming sense of defeat that swallows me about three times a day. Today, I was told that I look "down and out." Well, honestly? I am. Today is actually the first day in one month and six days that I've not cried at least once. Today? Not a single tear. And it's because I've committed to just being angry.
I used to think about what I would do when it eventually happened and could never really come up with a good plan as the whole prospect was just so freakin' inconceivable. It would have been easier to conceptualize a massive blast of solar radiation from the sun frying the earth than it was to know what life would be like after. So...I guess maybe the denial stage of the stages of loss/grief/etc was kicking in on that one. That must mean that then came the depression...and the grief over my inability...to just be. And the cursing...curse me and my complicated ways. Me with my multisyllabic, odd name that can't be found on "customized" toothbrushes and pens. Me with my degree in the physical sciences, big boobs, and authoritative position in this "upwardly mobile" life I'm trying to build for myself. Me with my wanderlust, graceful clumsiness, and curious ways. Me with my rogue reproductive system. Me. But why be angry with myself when it's so much easier to be angry with other people. Granted, logic says that anger should be directed at the situation, for if there's any deserving party, it's the situation. But anger defies logic, you see, so fingers certainly cannot be pointed at the deserving party.
I want to be angry. I really, really do. But the oddest thing happened - I committed myself to anger but when faced with the entity at which I want to direct my rage, I can't be angry. I'm enjoying myself too much to be mad. I never saw this coming...unexpected outcomes. Then again, I never thought I'd feel progressively worse about something with each passing day - wtf with that? But yeah, I want to roar and rage and rampage, but I fear I just don't have it in me. And though it's in my nature to want to lash out (similar to the manner an injured animal does) when hurt, I get distracted and laugh and have fun. I genuinely enjoy myself. Perhaps deep down I know that anger will get me nowhere. Deep down I know that sometimes shit just happens. The philosophy of there being no good and no bad, just what's there and it's all in what we make of a situation...appreciating the cards we've been dealt. Deep down I know that I don't really have a good reason to feel so bad...there are the greats and then there are the best of what's there. And then there are situations where being the best of what's there is like being the smartest kid with down's syndrome. What about that is worth mourning over? At least no one's dead.
...except for the Monday Night Girl. I think she's lost and gone forever, but where's the loss in that?
Ever notice how people want to act pissed off and throw stuff around after they've hit their hand with a hammer?
After much deliberation, I've decided that it's easier to feel anger than any other emotion. Most anger is irrational and thoughtless. It's more socially acceptable to be angry. When's the last time there's been a great movie about people just sitting around being sad? It's all about the anger and the resulting kill crazy rampage that follows. There are no good sorrow movies, but there are several really, really good ones about anger and revenge.
Lately I've tried to be angry and go with it. It's easier than wallowing in the overwhelming sense of defeat that swallows me about three times a day. Today, I was told that I look "down and out." Well, honestly? I am. Today is actually the first day in one month and six days that I've not cried at least once. Today? Not a single tear. And it's because I've committed to just being angry.
I used to think about what I would do when it eventually happened and could never really come up with a good plan as the whole prospect was just so freakin' inconceivable. It would have been easier to conceptualize a massive blast of solar radiation from the sun frying the earth than it was to know what life would be like after. So...I guess maybe the denial stage of the stages of loss/grief/etc was kicking in on that one. That must mean that then came the depression...and the grief over my inability...to just be. And the cursing...curse me and my complicated ways. Me with my multisyllabic, odd name that can't be found on "customized" toothbrushes and pens. Me with my degree in the physical sciences, big boobs, and authoritative position in this "upwardly mobile" life I'm trying to build for myself. Me with my wanderlust, graceful clumsiness, and curious ways. Me with my rogue reproductive system. Me. But why be angry with myself when it's so much easier to be angry with other people. Granted, logic says that anger should be directed at the situation, for if there's any deserving party, it's the situation. But anger defies logic, you see, so fingers certainly cannot be pointed at the deserving party.
I want to be angry. I really, really do. But the oddest thing happened - I committed myself to anger but when faced with the entity at which I want to direct my rage, I can't be angry. I'm enjoying myself too much to be mad. I never saw this coming...unexpected outcomes. Then again, I never thought I'd feel progressively worse about something with each passing day - wtf with that? But yeah, I want to roar and rage and rampage, but I fear I just don't have it in me. And though it's in my nature to want to lash out (similar to the manner an injured animal does) when hurt, I get distracted and laugh and have fun. I genuinely enjoy myself. Perhaps deep down I know that anger will get me nowhere. Deep down I know that sometimes shit just happens. The philosophy of there being no good and no bad, just what's there and it's all in what we make of a situation...appreciating the cards we've been dealt. Deep down I know that I don't really have a good reason to feel so bad...there are the greats and then there are the best of what's there. And then there are situations where being the best of what's there is like being the smartest kid with down's syndrome. What about that is worth mourning over? At least no one's dead.
...except for the Monday Night Girl. I think she's lost and gone forever, but where's the loss in that?
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Damn Thursday
I started my morning, waking up oddly refereshed for it being 1 am and then proceeded to lie in bed and watch part of a Discovery Channel documentary on volcanoes before going through the morning routine of washing, drying, straightening, painting, perfuming, and dressing before driving into work.
The way the streets always seem to glisten and the stoplights can be seen clear down the road tend to give the middle of the night a certain uncharacterizable charm. This is probably the only time of the day that can be as interesting at the end of waking hours as it is at the begining. Even the radio stations play better music at night. Usually, I try to find the old "AM Gold" standards - Moody Blues, Three Dog, etc, but this morning it was all about the hair-rock. Can't really recall the song on the radio, but can tell you that it was one that inspired me to think of the last time in the middle of the night, I kicked back and enjoyed the radio. Sitting on couches, somewhere in Kentucky, listening to "Sweet Child of Mine" and marveling over the GuitarGod known as Slash. The night is always conducive to etching even the most mundane into the brain.
So here I am, sitting at my desk in what is now almost my 4th hour at work. Considering hopping in the car and driving into town for a real (unhealthy) breakfast and a newspaper and a good view of the sun rising. Today I must remain in motion for if I stop, it'll be too tempting to sleep. Under the desk? Out in my car? In the bathroom? There are very few good options for refuge from the waking world. And too many options for thought. I think I think too much. I think I need to decide what all to see and do while back up in Chicago for the weekend. I think I need to go get some breakfast.
I started my morning, waking up oddly refereshed for it being 1 am and then proceeded to lie in bed and watch part of a Discovery Channel documentary on volcanoes before going through the morning routine of washing, drying, straightening, painting, perfuming, and dressing before driving into work.
The way the streets always seem to glisten and the stoplights can be seen clear down the road tend to give the middle of the night a certain uncharacterizable charm. This is probably the only time of the day that can be as interesting at the end of waking hours as it is at the begining. Even the radio stations play better music at night. Usually, I try to find the old "AM Gold" standards - Moody Blues, Three Dog, etc, but this morning it was all about the hair-rock. Can't really recall the song on the radio, but can tell you that it was one that inspired me to think of the last time in the middle of the night, I kicked back and enjoyed the radio. Sitting on couches, somewhere in Kentucky, listening to "Sweet Child of Mine" and marveling over the GuitarGod known as Slash. The night is always conducive to etching even the most mundane into the brain.
So here I am, sitting at my desk in what is now almost my 4th hour at work. Considering hopping in the car and driving into town for a real (unhealthy) breakfast and a newspaper and a good view of the sun rising. Today I must remain in motion for if I stop, it'll be too tempting to sleep. Under the desk? Out in my car? In the bathroom? There are very few good options for refuge from the waking world. And too many options for thought. I think I think too much. I think I need to decide what all to see and do while back up in Chicago for the weekend. I think I need to go get some breakfast.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Yet Another 5 Things That Rock My World
1. Super Troopers. Every time I watch this movie, I notice something different. Did you know that when Thorny's about to ask the freaky-deaky Germans "Who wants a moustache ride?" he's holding a bundle of bananas? WTF?
2. The 355 Tollway. I never thought I'd be so excited to pay money to drive on a road. Then again, watching a Thunder Chicken smoking, flaming, and shooting oil all over the place on the side of the road made it pretty cool too. I never thought I'd be so excited about watching a cock-car go up.
3. Thymes Kimono Rose. This weekend at C.O. Bigelow, I picked up the Kimono Rose bath set, consisting of bath wash, body cream, bath salts, and a roller perfume. The scent is reminiscent of circa 1999 Anna Sui perfume. I have this thing about perfume and lately, I've had a thing about rose scented things.
4. Green Beer. The goodness of beer with all the fun of having a mouth stained an odd color. It also invokes statements such as "You know it's like...blabbity blah blah, fuck you green beer."
5. "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages." - Tennessee Williams
1. Super Troopers. Every time I watch this movie, I notice something different. Did you know that when Thorny's about to ask the freaky-deaky Germans "Who wants a moustache ride?" he's holding a bundle of bananas? WTF?
2. The 355 Tollway. I never thought I'd be so excited to pay money to drive on a road. Then again, watching a Thunder Chicken smoking, flaming, and shooting oil all over the place on the side of the road made it pretty cool too. I never thought I'd be so excited about watching a cock-car go up.
3. Thymes Kimono Rose. This weekend at C.O. Bigelow, I picked up the Kimono Rose bath set, consisting of bath wash, body cream, bath salts, and a roller perfume. The scent is reminiscent of circa 1999 Anna Sui perfume. I have this thing about perfume and lately, I've had a thing about rose scented things.
4. Green Beer. The goodness of beer with all the fun of having a mouth stained an odd color. It also invokes statements such as "You know it's like...blabbity blah blah, fuck you green beer."
5. "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages." - Tennessee Williams
Chasing Windmills
I went looking for this on Saturday.
Katie and I hopped in the Canyonero 2.0 and took off up a country road in search of fun, adventure, and racetracks. Fourteen hours later we returned with road stories, cheesecake, and photographs. But alas, no momentos from the racetrack because we couldn't find it. Three hours driving around Kane, McHenry, and Cook County...no luck.
But we did find windmills. Lots of them.
There are a couple of wind farms in the counties north of here. I haven't seen such a sight since the last time I was out in California to visit my aunt. Unlike the ones out there, it's possible to get really close to the ones here. They're almost creepy looking up close. Tall, sterile, made of steel...Katie wondered what would happen if the windmill field were hit by a tornado. I tried to explain how they generate energy, but I realized mid-explanation that I couldn't recall all of the intracacies of how they function.
After having driven around for a few hours trying to find the track, Katie made mention of the windmills and how driving around looking for something that likely wasn't there was like "chasing windmills." Except we actually found windmills. And like Quixote, I had Katie, as my Sancho Panza verbally expressing doubts of my sanity over being so tenacious about searching for something. But couldn't it be considered admirable to never give up? Or like (as lately it seems) most things in my life, am I merely trying in vain to wish my little heart out for something that's just not there.
...I'm going to go look for that track again...
I went looking for this on Saturday.
Katie and I hopped in the Canyonero 2.0 and took off up a country road in search of fun, adventure, and racetracks. Fourteen hours later we returned with road stories, cheesecake, and photographs. But alas, no momentos from the racetrack because we couldn't find it. Three hours driving around Kane, McHenry, and Cook County...no luck.
But we did find windmills. Lots of them.
There are a couple of wind farms in the counties north of here. I haven't seen such a sight since the last time I was out in California to visit my aunt. Unlike the ones out there, it's possible to get really close to the ones here. They're almost creepy looking up close. Tall, sterile, made of steel...Katie wondered what would happen if the windmill field were hit by a tornado. I tried to explain how they generate energy, but I realized mid-explanation that I couldn't recall all of the intracacies of how they function.
After having driven around for a few hours trying to find the track, Katie made mention of the windmills and how driving around looking for something that likely wasn't there was like "chasing windmills." Except we actually found windmills. And like Quixote, I had Katie, as my Sancho Panza verbally expressing doubts of my sanity over being so tenacious about searching for something. But couldn't it be considered admirable to never give up? Or like (as lately it seems) most things in my life, am I merely trying in vain to wish my little heart out for something that's just not there.
...I'm going to go look for that track again...
Thursday, March 16, 2006
We're Not Gonna Protest!
My company gets protested periodically because we made the tractors that are the Israel Defense Forces bulldozers, which are used to knock down buildings in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. This week, some protesters went downtown where they waived signs, blaming Cat for the deaths of peace protestors and demanded the company stop selling D9 dozers to Israel. Claims that it is unethical to sell equipment that would be used for such a purpose are being made. This claim has been countered with the statement that Cat does not possess right or ability to interfere with the way product is used after it's purchased.
Story from WEEK News about this week's protest:
Group Protests Caterpillar
Mar 16, 2006 - National and local political activists rallied in front of the Caterpillar's headquarters in downtown Peoria Thursday.
They say they want the company to stop selling bulldozers to an Israeli military that uses them to knock down Palestinian homes.
The protest comes on a third anniversary of the death of a 23-year old American activist Rachel Corrie who was run over by an Israeli soldier driving a Caterpillar bulldozer.
Joe Carr with the International Solidarity Movement said, "Caterpillar Corporation is fully aware of what Israel is using their equipment to do. They know that Israel is systematically violating Palestinian rights, destroying homes, annexing lands and killing people. So therefore, they are enabling Israeli war crimes and they must held responsible for their actions."
According to the police, four arrests were made, after the protesters attempted to lie on Adams street covered with fake blood. The protest blocked traffic for some time over the lunch hour.
Caterpillar issued a written statement today, saying that it "fully complies with all local, U.S. and international laws and policies governing sales of its products around the world, including the U.S. foreign Military Sales Program."
Corporate Statement on Global Unrest
Middle East
"For the past four years, activists have wrongly included Caterpillar in a publicity campaign aimed at advancing their much larger political agendas. Over that same period of time, we've repeatedly evaluated our position - as have our shareholders - and determined that while the protests occasionally succeed in gaining headlines, they neither change the facts nor our position.
"As a well-respected and responsible global citizen, Caterpillar fully complies with all local, U.S. and international laws and policies governing sales of our products around the world, including the U.S. Foreign Military Sales Program. In addition, we clearly have neither the legal right nor the tangible ability to regulate how customers use their machines.
"While it's disappointing that a small number of activists continue to use our international visibility, leadership and reputation to draw attention to their cause, we have no intention of participating in a debate that appears aimed not at our company, but at the policies established and controlled by the governments of the United States and Israel."
My company gets protested periodically because we made the tractors that are the Israel Defense Forces bulldozers, which are used to knock down buildings in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. This week, some protesters went downtown where they waived signs, blaming Cat for the deaths of peace protestors and demanded the company stop selling D9 dozers to Israel. Claims that it is unethical to sell equipment that would be used for such a purpose are being made. This claim has been countered with the statement that Cat does not possess right or ability to interfere with the way product is used after it's purchased.
Story from WEEK News about this week's protest:
Group Protests Caterpillar
Mar 16, 2006 - National and local political activists rallied in front of the Caterpillar's headquarters in downtown Peoria Thursday.
They say they want the company to stop selling bulldozers to an Israeli military that uses them to knock down Palestinian homes.
The protest comes on a third anniversary of the death of a 23-year old American activist Rachel Corrie who was run over by an Israeli soldier driving a Caterpillar bulldozer.
Joe Carr with the International Solidarity Movement said, "Caterpillar Corporation is fully aware of what Israel is using their equipment to do. They know that Israel is systematically violating Palestinian rights, destroying homes, annexing lands and killing people. So therefore, they are enabling Israeli war crimes and they must held responsible for their actions."
According to the police, four arrests were made, after the protesters attempted to lie on Adams street covered with fake blood. The protest blocked traffic for some time over the lunch hour.
Caterpillar issued a written statement today, saying that it "fully complies with all local, U.S. and international laws and policies governing sales of its products around the world, including the U.S. foreign Military Sales Program."
Corporate Statement on Global Unrest
Middle East
"For the past four years, activists have wrongly included Caterpillar in a publicity campaign aimed at advancing their much larger political agendas. Over that same period of time, we've repeatedly evaluated our position - as have our shareholders - and determined that while the protests occasionally succeed in gaining headlines, they neither change the facts nor our position.
"As a well-respected and responsible global citizen, Caterpillar fully complies with all local, U.S. and international laws and policies governing sales of our products around the world, including the U.S. Foreign Military Sales Program. In addition, we clearly have neither the legal right nor the tangible ability to regulate how customers use their machines.
"While it's disappointing that a small number of activists continue to use our international visibility, leadership and reputation to draw attention to their cause, we have no intention of participating in a debate that appears aimed not at our company, but at the policies established and controlled by the governments of the United States and Israel."
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Beware! The Ides of March
Nothing overly spectacular happenened on this 15th of March. I arranged for there to be a take cover drill at work, which was great because a) I wasn't around for it and b) it's great to bellow "beware the ides of march" when people ask when the next one will be. I could go on a power trip over being able to make such a productivity-wrecking event occur, but I'm rather indifferent. The real power trip could come from having people ask when they'll be and me refusing to tell them...
My biggest trauma of the day was just a few minutes ago, as I sat in black bertha and watched yet another episode of Sex and the City, shaking my head and saying aloud "Oh, it's so true. So, so true..." Next thing I know, I'll be saying "It's like on that one episode of SATC where..." Oh wait, I pulled that one last weekend, likening that moment that I refused to play nice and be friends with someone's new girlfriend to when Miranda didn't finish decorating Debbie's cupcakes. And then last night when Jennifer and I were talking about that episode where Miranda pretends to be a flight attendent to get dates. For the record, she is going to play a nurse and I'll feign librarian. Because librarians are hot...because they can read (obvi!).
Tonight, I engaged in witty banter and mild flirting with the barista through the orderbox while getting a strawberry frappuchino. It was good times, being haranged over my disdain for whipped cream on my drink. However, I could sense a bit of mutual disappointmen when I pulled up to the window and our eyes met. That's probably the fastests I've ever had a male lose interest - the span of two cars. At least he reconstitutes a good frappuchio and knows when the heck not to put whipped cream on a beverage.
Nothing overly spectacular happenened on this 15th of March. I arranged for there to be a take cover drill at work, which was great because a) I wasn't around for it and b) it's great to bellow "beware the ides of march" when people ask when the next one will be. I could go on a power trip over being able to make such a productivity-wrecking event occur, but I'm rather indifferent. The real power trip could come from having people ask when they'll be and me refusing to tell them...
My biggest trauma of the day was just a few minutes ago, as I sat in black bertha and watched yet another episode of Sex and the City, shaking my head and saying aloud "Oh, it's so true. So, so true..." Next thing I know, I'll be saying "It's like on that one episode of SATC where..." Oh wait, I pulled that one last weekend, likening that moment that I refused to play nice and be friends with someone's new girlfriend to when Miranda didn't finish decorating Debbie's cupcakes. And then last night when Jennifer and I were talking about that episode where Miranda pretends to be a flight attendent to get dates. For the record, she is going to play a nurse and I'll feign librarian. Because librarians are hot...because they can read (obvi!).
Tonight, I engaged in witty banter and mild flirting with the barista through the orderbox while getting a strawberry frappuchino. It was good times, being haranged over my disdain for whipped cream on my drink. However, I could sense a bit of mutual disappointmen when I pulled up to the window and our eyes met. That's probably the fastests I've ever had a male lose interest - the span of two cars. At least he reconstitutes a good frappuchio and knows when the heck not to put whipped cream on a beverage.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Peoria Fashion Show Part Deux
I was at the mall again tonight picking up a discount leather jacket from Wilson's. Yay for sales! And once again, I saw the Butt Queen (see yesterday's post) working her stuff next to the west entrance. This girl is amazing because even though her clothes appear to be screaming for help, she manages to work them anyway. How in the world could someone in such ill fitting and ill flattering clothes seem to be so confident and comfortable in her own skin? It does not look good. At all. And the sad part was, she had boys around her. Granted, they weren't cute boys, but she gets male attention. The last time I had my ass out of my pants in public, it was when I inadvertently mooned the conosle room of the cold room. And even that was brief as there's nothing like -10 degree air blowing across your backside to make you want to stow it.
Tonight I also saw two guys that looked like they were on their way to a basketball game, one of those dreadful red hat ladies, and an errant food court druid. I guess the rest of the coven have night classes on Tuesday.
I also saw a striking lady in a black and gray dress clothes, red lipstick, and a black leather jacket. Oh wait, that was me...
I was at the mall again tonight picking up a discount leather jacket from Wilson's. Yay for sales! And once again, I saw the Butt Queen (see yesterday's post) working her stuff next to the west entrance. This girl is amazing because even though her clothes appear to be screaming for help, she manages to work them anyway. How in the world could someone in such ill fitting and ill flattering clothes seem to be so confident and comfortable in her own skin? It does not look good. At all. And the sad part was, she had boys around her. Granted, they weren't cute boys, but she gets male attention. The last time I had my ass out of my pants in public, it was when I inadvertently mooned the conosle room of the cold room. And even that was brief as there's nothing like -10 degree air blowing across your backside to make you want to stow it.
Tonight I also saw two guys that looked like they were on their way to a basketball game, one of those dreadful red hat ladies, and an errant food court druid. I guess the rest of the coven have night classes on Tuesday.
I also saw a striking lady in a black and gray dress clothes, red lipstick, and a black leather jacket. Oh wait, that was me...
I Love a Good Conference
Today marked the end of the hotel portion of Safety Week '06. I must admit to being rather bummed that there's not a day 3 because when I'm in a situation where I can learn a lot very quickly and have nothing too unexpected come up throughout the course of the day, it's a refreshing change of pace. And when I'm at the office, there's not snack table that has an unlimited supply of bottled water. Over the last two days, I've consumed over 200 ounces of water, 2 cups of coffee, 4 cups of hot tea, and 500 ounces of iced tea. And tonight, there was an open bar to kick off the dinner so I tossed a couple of Budweisers on top for good measure. Oddly enough, though it was a situation where everyone was drinking out of the bottle, I felt odd and wrong for drinking beer from the bottle at a dressy-business-casual event. Thank goodness some Southern Living rubbed off on me. I did enjoy my beer, albeit with a napkin wrapped around it.
Networking is another perk of conferences. Must now find a way to get to the ASSE Conference in San Diego later this year as I had a blast hanging out with another IH that works engine labs out there. We bonded over being smart females in a tough, male dominated field and all the stuff we've been trying to learn about engines. Another great thing about networking is being able to whip out my hot little chelsea green vera business card holder and do the slick card swap move. And I got to do all of this wearing high heeled boots, gray slacks, and a hot black oxford. I miss being able to wear non-sensible shoes to work.
Tomorrow is the start of the breakout sessions. I'll be in environmental training all day because I'm prepping for what's after safety. I get tired of trying to protect people from themselves although the truth of the matter is all I can do have a good program in place and hope for the best. For a while, I wanted to resent certain aspects of my job, but on Friday, as I cleared all the bullshit off my desk for the week, I realized that all of this and everything pertaining to it is a stepping stone to something greater. And it all came together yesterday afternoon when I was introduced to THE corporate industrial hygienist as "----, Future Corporate Industrial Hygienist" and I realized how close I am to really taking off professionally and doing all of the things I told my parents I'd do the night I withdrew from one college and started packing to leave the state and give higher ed a try somewhere else. It's odd and charming to be so starry eyed about my chosen profession. Oh, and don't forget the snack table.
Today marked the end of the hotel portion of Safety Week '06. I must admit to being rather bummed that there's not a day 3 because when I'm in a situation where I can learn a lot very quickly and have nothing too unexpected come up throughout the course of the day, it's a refreshing change of pace. And when I'm at the office, there's not snack table that has an unlimited supply of bottled water. Over the last two days, I've consumed over 200 ounces of water, 2 cups of coffee, 4 cups of hot tea, and 500 ounces of iced tea. And tonight, there was an open bar to kick off the dinner so I tossed a couple of Budweisers on top for good measure. Oddly enough, though it was a situation where everyone was drinking out of the bottle, I felt odd and wrong for drinking beer from the bottle at a dressy-business-casual event. Thank goodness some Southern Living rubbed off on me. I did enjoy my beer, albeit with a napkin wrapped around it.
Networking is another perk of conferences. Must now find a way to get to the ASSE Conference in San Diego later this year as I had a blast hanging out with another IH that works engine labs out there. We bonded over being smart females in a tough, male dominated field and all the stuff we've been trying to learn about engines. Another great thing about networking is being able to whip out my hot little chelsea green vera business card holder and do the slick card swap move. And I got to do all of this wearing high heeled boots, gray slacks, and a hot black oxford. I miss being able to wear non-sensible shoes to work.
Tomorrow is the start of the breakout sessions. I'll be in environmental training all day because I'm prepping for what's after safety. I get tired of trying to protect people from themselves although the truth of the matter is all I can do have a good program in place and hope for the best. For a while, I wanted to resent certain aspects of my job, but on Friday, as I cleared all the bullshit off my desk for the week, I realized that all of this and everything pertaining to it is a stepping stone to something greater. And it all came together yesterday afternoon when I was introduced to THE corporate industrial hygienist as "----, Future Corporate Industrial Hygienist" and I realized how close I am to really taking off professionally and doing all of the things I told my parents I'd do the night I withdrew from one college and started packing to leave the state and give higher ed a try somewhere else. It's odd and charming to be so starry eyed about my chosen profession. Oh, and don't forget the snack table.
Monday, March 13, 2006
The Peoria Fashion Show?
Tonight at the mall, I saw this girl in one of those faux-Juicy coture jogging suits and a backward baseball cap sitting on a bench, working to keep the attention of the boys on the bench adjacent to hers. She had it going off. And to add that extra special je ne se quois, she had her entire buttocks hanging out of her pants. We're talking full moon. On display. Resting majestically atop the dirty old wooden bench. Reflecting the glare of the mall lights. Off her big, white butt. It was so horrific that I was able to maintain a straight face. My guess is that what I saw was so horrible that my brain didn't completely register it, but did just enough to know what it was looking at. Incredible.
Everytime I go to the indoor mall, it's a veritable fashion show. Not a haute coture fashion show with the girls dressing up their fiercest and walking real mean from shop to shop. It's like...g-thuggs and food court druids and an element of people that would appear should someone open the back of a molester van and yell "Free PBR!!! Come and get it!" The halls of the indoor mall are also occupied with people who seem to spend the majority of their waking hours sitting in front of the computer, waiting for Morpheus to come and offer them a red or blue pill. And then there was a fellow that's can be best described as a Merv the Perv kind, standing in the (soon to close) Sam Goody in all his plaid shorts, black chucks, and rotund glory. Trojan Extended Pleasure baseball cap jauntily perched atop his greasy mop. He had one of those goatees that screamed "Look at me! I'm trying to be Kevin Smith!" And though I never got close enough to confirm (for fear he'd try to whip it out at me), he just looked like he smelled bad.
There's really no moral to this story other than I need to start taking a camera with me when I go to the mall. Then again, trying to capture these animals in their native habitat could end with similar result to swinging a stick at a bear. That is, if the bear were to knock me to the ground and rub its genitals on me while screaming "You'll never understand me because I'm 5,000 years old and my parents make me work at Cinnabon!" God bless the indoor mall.
Tonight at the mall, I saw this girl in one of those faux-Juicy coture jogging suits and a backward baseball cap sitting on a bench, working to keep the attention of the boys on the bench adjacent to hers. She had it going off. And to add that extra special je ne se quois, she had her entire buttocks hanging out of her pants. We're talking full moon. On display. Resting majestically atop the dirty old wooden bench. Reflecting the glare of the mall lights. Off her big, white butt. It was so horrific that I was able to maintain a straight face. My guess is that what I saw was so horrible that my brain didn't completely register it, but did just enough to know what it was looking at. Incredible.
Everytime I go to the indoor mall, it's a veritable fashion show. Not a haute coture fashion show with the girls dressing up their fiercest and walking real mean from shop to shop. It's like...g-thuggs and food court druids and an element of people that would appear should someone open the back of a molester van and yell "Free PBR!!! Come and get it!" The halls of the indoor mall are also occupied with people who seem to spend the majority of their waking hours sitting in front of the computer, waiting for Morpheus to come and offer them a red or blue pill. And then there was a fellow that's can be best described as a Merv the Perv kind, standing in the (soon to close) Sam Goody in all his plaid shorts, black chucks, and rotund glory. Trojan Extended Pleasure baseball cap jauntily perched atop his greasy mop. He had one of those goatees that screamed "Look at me! I'm trying to be Kevin Smith!" And though I never got close enough to confirm (for fear he'd try to whip it out at me), he just looked like he smelled bad.
There's really no moral to this story other than I need to start taking a camera with me when I go to the mall. Then again, trying to capture these animals in their native habitat could end with similar result to swinging a stick at a bear. That is, if the bear were to knock me to the ground and rub its genitals on me while screaming "You'll never understand me because I'm 5,000 years old and my parents make me work at Cinnabon!" God bless the indoor mall.
Winds of Change
Last night around 11:30, I finally got to meet the guys that live below me when we were all standing outside in our night clothes, staring at the sky like slackjawed yokels as the tornado sirens went off. I love it when toned boys strut around in sleep shorts and no shirt, pecs glistening in the stormy night sky. That's my favorite thing about tornado warnings - people are too concerned about the weather to bother with clothes.
Springfield got nailed by a tornado. My folks are all right. Thank goodness. Wal-Mart, Best Buy and possibly the Knight's Action Park are demolished though. Sad day. No one killed. Good day.
It's supposed to snow up here tonight, possibly. Not ready for it to be cold again, but it's better than more storms. I'm good to go on tornadic weather for now.
Tonight, I bought 5 new pairs of panties at Victoria's Secret. I love new underwear - each pair is a new hope. The promise of a brighter, happier tomorrow. What better way to signify a new day than a fresh pair of cottons against the skin? New underwear brings that extra bolt of confidence, that extra spring in the step...it comes from being able to stand in front of someone and smirk because you've got something on that's fabulous but he'll never get to see it. Or, knowing that you're wearing a lovely piece of art on your bottom that's yours and yours alone. I love new underwear and I love the idea of tomorrow being a new day.
Last night around 11:30, I finally got to meet the guys that live below me when we were all standing outside in our night clothes, staring at the sky like slackjawed yokels as the tornado sirens went off. I love it when toned boys strut around in sleep shorts and no shirt, pecs glistening in the stormy night sky. That's my favorite thing about tornado warnings - people are too concerned about the weather to bother with clothes.
Springfield got nailed by a tornado. My folks are all right. Thank goodness. Wal-Mart, Best Buy and possibly the Knight's Action Park are demolished though. Sad day. No one killed. Good day.
It's supposed to snow up here tonight, possibly. Not ready for it to be cold again, but it's better than more storms. I'm good to go on tornadic weather for now.
Tonight, I bought 5 new pairs of panties at Victoria's Secret. I love new underwear - each pair is a new hope. The promise of a brighter, happier tomorrow. What better way to signify a new day than a fresh pair of cottons against the skin? New underwear brings that extra bolt of confidence, that extra spring in the step...it comes from being able to stand in front of someone and smirk because you've got something on that's fabulous but he'll never get to see it. Or, knowing that you're wearing a lovely piece of art on your bottom that's yours and yours alone. I love new underwear and I love the idea of tomorrow being a new day.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
All about a Weekend
I saw a funnel cloud in my rear view mirror last night. It was odd to see it move through the sky too as it was around 10 at night and I could only see it when lightning lit up the night sky. So the whole thing had a very jumpy appearance to it. Weirdest thing I've seen...in a while, anyway.
This was a good weekend. I went to St. Louis. At one point, I stood at the edge of a parking garage looking out onto I-270, feeling the dusk wind blow across my face and watched haze roll across the hills as the sun set. And for the first time in a while, I just knew that everything would be all right.
The doctor's office called me Thursday morning; I don't have cancer.
Each day since then, I keep thinking to myself "what am I going to do with the rest of my life?" So far, I've been catching up with people I haven't talked to in a while and running around having fun. Shot some pool, went shopping, enjoyed the (albeit tornadic) weather, and just went about my merry way.
I've slept a lot and had some odd dreams. Yesterday morning started, waking up to (mentally) hearing the opening chords to "Bittersweet Symphony" in my head and that tune followed me throughout the day. Into the church, out at the graveyard, across the JB bridge, back across the Poplar, into the garage of my parents house - it was every where.
And now I must cut this post short. Peoria county is now under a tornado warning.
I saw a funnel cloud in my rear view mirror last night. It was odd to see it move through the sky too as it was around 10 at night and I could only see it when lightning lit up the night sky. So the whole thing had a very jumpy appearance to it. Weirdest thing I've seen...in a while, anyway.
This was a good weekend. I went to St. Louis. At one point, I stood at the edge of a parking garage looking out onto I-270, feeling the dusk wind blow across my face and watched haze roll across the hills as the sun set. And for the first time in a while, I just knew that everything would be all right.
The doctor's office called me Thursday morning; I don't have cancer.
Each day since then, I keep thinking to myself "what am I going to do with the rest of my life?" So far, I've been catching up with people I haven't talked to in a while and running around having fun. Shot some pool, went shopping, enjoyed the (albeit tornadic) weather, and just went about my merry way.
I've slept a lot and had some odd dreams. Yesterday morning started, waking up to (mentally) hearing the opening chords to "Bittersweet Symphony" in my head and that tune followed me throughout the day. Into the church, out at the graveyard, across the JB bridge, back across the Poplar, into the garage of my parents house - it was every where.
And now I must cut this post short. Peoria county is now under a tornado warning.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Say Something Positive
Five Things that Are Rocking my World Today
1. Bare Escentuals makeup. I ordered the starter kit and can't wait for it to arrive. The contents of that box is going to change my life.
2. Iced Tea. This has been a lifesaver as I've decided to give up soda for lent. I've given up something else for lent too and think that doing so will bring me to a higher plane of existence. Or at least help restore peace of mind.
3. XBox. After months of saying "someday I'll get an Xbox, I went and got an Xbox Thursday morning. I also picked up Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Star Wars III Revenge of the Sith. The Xbox pack came with Forza Racing. I'm not good at racing games, but I'm great with jacking cars. It's cathartic.
4. Katie W. She came to Peoria at exactly the right time. There aren't a lot of people I know that will go out into the cold night with you wearing pajama pants, glasses, topknots, and pink Mario spots for sake of seeking catharsis. And not laugh at you when you slip on some semisolid water and land on your back in a parking lot at 2 in the morning. And then lie in bed and eat "that bag" of potato chips with you. (Eating that bag of potato chips was like when Miles drank that vintage wine in the fast food restaurant in Sideways.) And be able to help make it better when life is kicking you in the ass. This girl is awesome
5. Possibility. I may have the chance to alter my current working situation. Yes, many aspects of life are grim but the thought of being able to possibly do something about one thing that's been bothering me is a good thought. But knowing what I know now, I'm sure that if I should decide to ask for reassignment, I'll be doing it for the right reasons and solely for me.
Thought of the day: "Worrying is like a rocking chair - it's something to do but gets you no where."
Five Things that Are Rocking my World Today
1. Bare Escentuals makeup. I ordered the starter kit and can't wait for it to arrive. The contents of that box is going to change my life.
2. Iced Tea. This has been a lifesaver as I've decided to give up soda for lent. I've given up something else for lent too and think that doing so will bring me to a higher plane of existence. Or at least help restore peace of mind.
3. XBox. After months of saying "someday I'll get an Xbox, I went and got an Xbox Thursday morning. I also picked up Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Star Wars III Revenge of the Sith. The Xbox pack came with Forza Racing. I'm not good at racing games, but I'm great with jacking cars. It's cathartic.
4. Katie W. She came to Peoria at exactly the right time. There aren't a lot of people I know that will go out into the cold night with you wearing pajama pants, glasses, topknots, and pink Mario spots for sake of seeking catharsis. And not laugh at you when you slip on some semisolid water and land on your back in a parking lot at 2 in the morning. And then lie in bed and eat "that bag" of potato chips with you. (Eating that bag of potato chips was like when Miles drank that vintage wine in the fast food restaurant in Sideways.) And be able to help make it better when life is kicking you in the ass. This girl is awesome
5. Possibility. I may have the chance to alter my current working situation. Yes, many aspects of life are grim but the thought of being able to possibly do something about one thing that's been bothering me is a good thought. But knowing what I know now, I'm sure that if I should decide to ask for reassignment, I'll be doing it for the right reasons and solely for me.
Thought of the day: "Worrying is like a rocking chair - it's something to do but gets you no where."
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